All I know is...

Pretty Much Done

2009-03-06T15:38:00.005-05:00

Here are some pics of the house I took after our walkthrough this afternoon. The blue tags in the the pictures are touch up spots that need to be corrected. We will probably go out again this weekend and I will take some pictures of the upstairs. Enjoy!

We are scheduled to close next Friday. We are super excited to have this ordeal coming to an end. We can't wait to have guest so you need to be booking your reservations now. Take care and UK sucks.

New Blog on the Links

2009-02-12T19:51:00.004-05:00

Hey all! I added a new entree to the menu on the right and I had to cut the blue plate special, Why you ask? Well, the blue plate special just wasn't special anymore. Just wanted to let you know a buddy of mine has started a blog all about Kentucky basketball. He will cover every level of basketball...all levels that matter, anyway. Check him out if have the time. I am sure he will appreciate it. Thanks.

JD

The Sun Shines Bright On Our Baybriar Home

2009-02-03T19:21:00.007-05:00

Stoked! Yeah, I was just kidding about the house being white, but I think you knew that already. This is pretty much what the finished product will look like from the opposite curb. The front door isn't stained nor are the hand rails/brick pedestals for the front steps installed, yet. You can see Truckenstein in the right side of the picture. NO, the yellow port-o-potty isn't the guest bathroom (unless John T. is asking)!

Here is the staircase, duh. You'd think I was talking to aliens. We have had an ordeal in getting the proper spindles for the stair rails. They had painted white spindles installed. We had selected stained spindles to match the handrail. We had to send them numerous emails before they finally came across with the goods. "It's like trying to play cards with my brother's kids!" (Who said that for 10 points?)

Another angle here on the right of the stairs as they near the second floor. Once again, like I needed to explain that to you. I don't mean to treat you guys like 4-year olds. Just not sure as what to say. But, knowing the ding dongs that read my crap, maybe I need to spell it out. Just kidding!

Here is Beth posing (Again. I don't know why she won't ever take a picture of me.) in front of the mantle. It hasn't been stained, yet. Seems to be a common theme, huh? It will be a dark walnut, like the stairs and the front doors. This view is from the kitchen. Here is a view of the master bathroom from the closet. His and her vanities. $10 bucks says it is really hers and her vanities. Small price to pay, but brushing teeth in the toilet is where I draw the line!

You Asked Again...

2009-01-18T11:00:00.025-05:00

Hey guys here are a few pics of the house construction. It is really moving along. But, we are excited, especially now that the house in Lexington has sold. Enjoy the pics!

Here you can see the brick has been finished. No, for the fifth time, it is not going to have a white front. The paint won't be finished until a couple of weeks before the closing date, which is February 25th.

The cabinets have been installed throughout the house. All of the cabinets in the kitchen, butler's pantry, and the guest bathroom are sundance maple with a chocolate stain.

This picture is the left side of the kitchen. You can see the granite hasn't been installed. The cut-out on the left is for the dishwasher and the cut-out on the right uppers is for hood over the cooktop range.

And here is the right side of the kitchen. The cut-out under the upper cabinet is obviously for the refrigerator and the cut out insert is for the oven/microwave stack.

Here are the cabinets in the butler's pantry (area between the kitchen and the formal dining room. Note the wine rack...who drinks wine, anyways? Beth reminds me it's for looks because we all know it makes her sneeze!

Here is the mission style mantle. It will be finished with a dark walnut stain and a stone-tiled inset and rise.

This is the garden tub in the master batchroom. The cabinets here are an espresso stain.

Here is Beth on deck 1. This deck is a courtyard between the living room and the family room and the door goes into the hall across from the formal dining room.

This is Beth again on deck 2 from the family room/breakfast nook on the back of the house. Beth loves hanging out on decks, as you can see!

Well, I hope you enjoyed the pics. There were more, but it was taking forever for uploading and arranging them.

What about Jodie Meeks the other night? It was awesome seeing UK basketball history being made, even though it kept me up an hour and a half past my normal bedtime. In the words of one of my friends at work talking about Meeks, "I seen dat cat. He went smoove off!"

Catch you all later!

Progress...

2008-12-08T18:17:00.008-05:00

They have most of the hardy board/fiber cement and shingle on the sides of the house. No, it's not going to be that color. They paint it after the hardy board/shingle has been hung. We went on a walkthrough of it this weekend. It's pretty exciting!

Here is the start of the covered deck on the back of the house. Can you say "grillin' and cold beerin' "? I knew you could.

Another angle of the front.

The boss at the front door.

Raise Da Roof, Y'all!

2008-12-01T19:49:00.005-05:00

They have finally shingled the roof and are putting in the windows. We plan on going inside this weekend...if we can wait that long.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T21:16:00.006-05:00

I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving! Here is a little of what I experienced...

More later...

We did what?

2008-11-30T21:13:00.002-05:00

1. Add a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses.

More of the New House...

2008-11-23T20:38:00.007-05:00

Here are some more pics of the house. They have most of the roof on, as of Saturday morning...

And the last with Beth in front...

Halloween and New House

2008-11-19T17:55:00.012-05:00

This is post will serve mostly as an update as to what is going on and why I have been a little too busy to be posting left and right.

Here are a couple pics of me and Beth from Halloween. I went as a Zombie/Doofus. Beth went as a Rock of Love Charm School contestant. Behold...

Scary, huh?

She got kicked out of Charm School...just kidding!

Okay, we move on to the biggest time consumer as of late, the construction of our new home.

This is a side view from the entrance of our neighborhood.

This is the other side view from down our street. This is the side the garage will be on.

Here is a view of the front from down the street.
We are pretty excited about the our new home. I am going to try to keep you updated with more pics as the construction moves forward.

Anyway, I am looking forward to getting back home for Thanksgiving. I hope to see you all.

Until then, here are ZOE and CHLOE!

Got Beef?

2008-11-16T17:51:00.007-05:00

Yep. That's right. I haven't blogged in a while. I apologize. That is something I have been redundant at when it comes to these blogs. Another redundancy is me saying that I have been busy, which in this case is entirely accurate. This blog is going to be "I have beef" blog.

I have a beef with people who say they are a fan of one team when they show up to watch football wearing a jersey of another team who conviently is not playing that day. Don't be that guy. Today, I was watching football at the local wing joint. There was a dude there who is a notorious Jets' fan who showed up wearing a Giant's jersey. He was questioning the Ravens and their ability as a football team to my buddy Mike, who is a Ravens fan. Normally, I am neutral when it comes to banter between fans of opposing teams, but at this point I had enough of the ballyhoo. I asked this Jets/Giants fan if he was talking smack about the Ravens and giving beef to my buddy because he had no excuse for his team (the Jets) sucking. He said he was pro-choice and he meant that anyone was free to root for any team one wanted to root for, bitch. (The "bitch" is because I didn't want to end a sentence with a preposition.)

You guys know me. I think it is a sin for a fan of one team to root for another team just because your team isn't playing them. I.E., I don't root for Louisville just because Kentucky isn't playing them. Louisville sucks. I love the University of Kentucky. If Louisville, North Carolina, Duke, or any other team is playing, I want them all to lose, regardless. This is because I am a Kentucky fan. Period. I think it is okay to have a #2 team as long as it doesn't interfere with your team. My number two is West Virginia University. If at any time West Virginia comes into contention with UK, I say, "WVU who?"

You get my point? Okay. Let's move on.

Yeah, I've been busy. I had the priviledge of going to one of my top-five-weddings-ever a couple of weeks ago. This was my bother Joel's wedding in Arizona. It was an awesome time. You should have been there. I learned a lot about the culture there. All I will say is Nopalitos (prickly pears) and Saguaros. If you don't know, ask somebody. I have plenty of pics to prove the great time. I wish the best to the happily married couple. How about a gritos?

Our house constuction is under way. It will be a pretty tight crib. As soon as there enough construction done for some worth-while pics. I will post them. But, take it from me, we will have room for all if you guys ever want to take trip down to Raleigh to see us. Our tenative closing date is February 19. We look forward to having you.

What about UK getting beat by VMI on Friday? UK had a great comeback in the second half. It just sucks that Jodie Meeks is the only player with heart on the team. I have come to the opinion that Billy Gillispie is a great recruiter, but he is not a good in-game coach. He is pretty much the opposite of Tubby Smith. Tubby was a good in-game coach, but not a recruiter. Billy can bring in the players, but he doesn't know what to do with them once his team is in the game. This really disappoints me because I just shelled out a bunch of clams to get sixth row tickets on the baseline for the UK/UNC for this Tuesday's game at the Dean Smith Center in Chapel Hill. I think UK will bring a game to Chapel Hill. I just hope it is enough for a good showing.

Well, that is all I have for now. I hope for more to tell you about later. Until then, I guess I will just have to leave you hanging. Until then...

A Little Bit About Everything...

2008-09-13T23:54:00.010-04:00

Once again I apologize about not posting in the past while(months). I assume that you guys/gals had given up on islandpondviews.com. I am back with a vengence. The writing that follows may seem a blabber, but it will, hopefully, get my point across.

Yes, I have relocated to the Raleigh , NC area. The city is cool. It has everything down here Lexington could offer and more. There are restaurants galore. There are jobs here for everyone. Believe it or not, there is cable television. Although, I had to listen to UK's game tonight on Yahoo Sports, I still got the play by play(Bonus). Cat's win! Neither here nor there. My job is okay. I love the work I am doing. The people are a different story. Where I used to work, if I had a tough day, I could say, "Hey, so and so, let's grab a beer at Malone's after work." There would be three or four takers. Where I work now, there really is no one who would accept my offer. It is just different here. Now, I go home and anticipate Beth's call at the end of her day asking what's for dinner. This isn't something I despise or am I unaccusotmed to, but it is different. There is just no relation to me from my co-workers. A few have similar interest, but apparently, no one likes beer.

I have made a few friends at work. All are married and have families and other duties. We chat about football and sports in general, but anything beyond that is a foreign language they no longer speak. Alien as it may sound, it makes sense. They're all older and have alternate responsibilies. They seem to speak a language, an eastern North Carolina language, which is one I am not accustomed to. I find myself asking them to repeat themselves numerous times during conversations so I can grasp what they are saying. I am slowly figuring out their dialect, but it is one step at a time.

Let's get down to some issues that stretch beyond North Carolina.

First of all, the Olympics. What an Olympics! China won the most golds. They should, right? Their country has three times the population of the USA. Makes sense, right? We still owned them on the total medals. But still, what a sham the opening ceremonies were. Fake fireworks. Fake singers. Totally a sham! Don't get me started on the gymnastic's scores.

What about this presidency race? This is a whole converstion in its own right. Obama, the most eloquent speaker maybe to have ever hit the US political realm, is here to bring change to America. And we have John McCain, who is here to help those who have worked hard to earn a great living. I really find myself town between the two. One, who is something that we as Americans have never seen, is pledging the best for all, and the other who has served his country dutifully and pledges to do the same in the highest seat. I am leaning one way and I am sure you wish to guess which way I lean. I say not. Sarah Palin, qualified or not, she is One Hot Mama!

I have started a reading venture of my own, spurred by one of my favorite cousin's, Johnathan. I am two and a half novels into the Gunslinger series by Stephen King. Everyone I asked about the series said they were deterred after reading the second book, "The Drawing of the Three", but I am sold with the story. The story of Roland Deschain may be one of the most compelling stories the twentieth century has ever been privy to. I am still on my road of discovery with the series. My ka, if you will, is to finish the story. My thirst for the story is unsatiable. I hate the moments where I have to stop reading for whatever reason, i.e. to write this post, cook dinner, or wait on Amazon.com to send the next book, etc. I hunger for what I will encounter next in my reading. It is very complex and this is my warning to you if begin to start this adventure. But, where I am at now in the series, I can't stop. It really is that good.

I guess I will put an end to my ramblings tonight. Beth has been in bed for two hours or more. And soon I will be heading that way myself. I miss you guys a ton. I can't wait to see you all soon. Raleigh is great, but the Bluegrass is better. But, I am sure you knew that without even knowing. It is your Khef. Ask me plenty of questions. I will answer them earnestly and honestly, and if no hinderance, swiftly. I love you guys!

P.S. I would like to thank Beth, Dennis, and Jo-Anne for the fun weekend in Richmond, VA while we were waiting for Tropical Storm Hanna to pass so we could watch the NACAR race at Richmond International. I had an awesome time, especially now that I know where where the title NASCAR came from. "That's real "Nas Car" you got there!

The Old Home Place...

2008-06-19T22:58:00.015-04:00

"What have they done to the old homeplace
And why did they tear it down
And why did I leave the plow in the field
And look for a job in the town."
--Written by Mitch Jayne covered by Dr. Ralph Stanley

Don't start with me. I know it has been entirely too long. I can say I have been so busy in the past few, but I know you won't buy it. My heart just hasn't been in it. I have so much going on that I could write a blog so long it would lock up your computer. Luckily for you, I won't.

If you haven't heard, we are moving to Raleigh, North Carolina. Beth was offered an opportunity she couldn't pass up and believe it or not, I encouraged her to make that decision. It was right for her. It was right for me. The future was nowhere for me where I was at with my company. I am moving to a place that will give me countless opportunities. I know you have several questions and I can answer them sufficiently.

I have already answered, "JD, why?" I will tell you that this is something I envisioned a while back. I always knew where I would be living in the future many times before. At Morehead, I knew at some point in time, I would live in Mt. Sterling, and it happened. Once there, I knew I would end up living in Lexington. Behold, that is where I have resided for the past five and a half years. About a year ago, I was on a business trip to Maryland and I had a layover in Charlotte, NC. As I was flying in I was looking out the window of the plane. I looked down at the land. I liked what I saw. There was tons of greenspace to be seen. I liked that. Something told me that someday, not knowing when, I would live in North Carolina. Not necessarily Charlotte, but somewhere in the green state of NC. Raleigh. Yes, Raleigh.

Raleigh reminds me a lot of Lexington, especially the southeast side of Lexington where I live. Everything is green and everything seems new. In Raleigh, everywhere you look you see trees. I am a big fan of trees. You can call it the Breathittcountyism in me. I dig that and you can use that term freely if you wish. The only thing missing in Raleigh, other than my loved ones, are the mountains. I can get over that as long as I can travel back to Kentucky. If you didn't know, you will pass by some of the prettiest mountain landscapes God has given us en route to his country.

No, I will not be a Duke fan or Tarheel fan. Come on, seriously, did you honestly think that would happen. Beth and I were UK season football and basketball ticket holders. Big Blue holds a near and dear place in my heart, right next to Mom's wet chocolate cake, lemon meringue pies, and chocolate whoopie pies. If I were to root for any team in the area, I would pull for NC State. Believe it or not, UNC and Duke are minor schools when it comes to fan base in the area.

What I will miss most? That is an excellent question. Thanks for bringing that up. I will miss the early fall mornings of heading down to Commonwealth Stadium for tailgating before a Wildcat's football game. The early morning chill with the grill full of sausages and pancakes on Cooper Drive topped off by a whiff of a cold Bud Light has a smell unrivaled of any tailgating experience I have encountered. The smell of hot burgoo and cigars while sitting on a bench at the finish line handicapping the days races at the legendary Keeneland Race Course. In the couple of hours before the amatuers start to show up on the first Friday in April, the aroma of freshly made popcorn is a sensory delight I will cherish until the end of the no other. I will miss the autumn drives to Jackson the most. The anticipation of seeing those most important to me framed by the smell of decaying leaves...geez, I swear it almost brings a tear to my eyes now just thinking about it. I will miss the the excitement in the air as I make my way down to Rupp Arena on first Sunday in March to watch the UK/Florida final home game of the basketball season. I will miss the smell of kettle corn as I wander through the farmer's market on Vine Street. I will miss the smell of freshly broke Kentucky White Half Runner green beans (is there really any other kind of green bean?). Damn, I could go on. Friday afternoons at BW3's, post BW3's cookouts at Island Pond, Malone's mini burgers, Charlie's Fish Market fish sandwiches, Lexington Legend's games, running into someone you least expected anywhere you go in Lexington. I love this place.

There are so many things I will miss, which hopefully be countered by the new experiences in North Carolina. I am excited to be relocating. Maybe, this is driven by the time I have lost living by myself with Beth in NC over the past month and half. I know we are doing right by us and Him. I know our loved ones are dissappointed and saddened, but understanding of our decision. I know I will be so regretful of missing the majority of the growing up of our nieces and nephew, Emma, Paige, and Simon. I guess that is part of the choice we have made. I know we will be happy to give them respite or place of safe harbor along with any other family member who will oblige us. Our door will always be open to you, whenever we will be so fortunate.

I hope later in life, we have the opportunity to find ourselves back in the Bluegrass. This truly is God's land. You really don't know what you have until you are telling it goodbye. I know where I am going will treat me right. It has all the makings of a great future. But, I swear by my Lord, Lexington and Kentucky collectively are the places where my dreams have come true. I just hope once I leave here, my dreams haven't run out. God bless Lexington, God bless the Bluegrass, God bless the hills of Eastern Kentucky, and God Bless the Commonwealth. I will miss you intensely. You are my home, no matter where my UK hat will hang. I will miss you.

Old and New

2008-03-26T22:19:00.010-04:00

Peace. C-ya. Via con Dios. Later. Ciao. Aloha.

No more Mazda3. Peanut, as Beth affectionately referred to it, is no longer with us. It was an awesome car to own. It was great on gas and it had a great sporty Euro look. It was my first new car purchase. And one decision that I never regretted. Long may you run, Peanut. Long may you run.

As for the vehicle that replaces Peanut, I chose the vehicle that I ashamedly have coveted for the past two years. Beth asked me today what I thought about my new vehicle. I explained it to her like this. Imagine if you could have any vehicle that you wanted, the very vehicle that you pass and you stare at long after it has disappeared on the horizon. The vehicle that you drive to Heaven in after you pass from this world. That is what I feel like I have purchased. The pics are for you, Dennis. Behold...

The 2008 Chevy Avalanche, LT2, four wheel drive, remote starter, cashmere leather, sittin' on twins, yo. Yes, this is at best a prime example of gross indulgence. What can I say? I was born under a bad sign with a blue moon in my eye.

Done

2008-02-29T16:00:00.006-05:00

I am sure you have heard by now. Patrick Patterson is out for the rest of the season due to a stress fracture in his left ankle. I think that pretty much bursts our bubble, literally. I really thought the ship had been righted. UK had won 9 of their last 10 games. They got the 10th win on Wednesday (you know, the historical ten wins in the SEC regular season and your in the NCAA tourney?).

Maybe we can get another win in the rest of the schedule. I think we can still give South Carolina a big game. I think the Tennessee and Florida game are out of the question barring miracles for both games.

At least we have a legitimate excuse if the Cats don't make it to the Dance....Gillispie practices his squad too hard.

Sports and More Sports...and 100th post!

2008-02-20T22:03:00.006-05:00

I got to meet a couple of my local sports associated heroes last night. I took Beth over to the driver’s license renewal office on Regency Road after work so she could get a new license made. On the way over there, I was listening to The Sports Huddle, a local call in radio show, on ESPN Radio 1300 AM WLXG. I heard they were broadcasting from The Ketch at the corner of Regency and Southland. I always wanted to try the restaurant out. I offered and Beth accepted the challenge.

As soon as we rolled in, I could see Chris Cross and Mike Cameron at the other end of the restaurant doing their show. Cool beans. When their show was over, I had the chance to go over and talk to them. It was pretty neat. Sometimes, Cross can be a jerk on air, but he was really nice in person. Cameron (a horse trainer) and I talked about his horses. Pretty cool. They both remembered me from when I had called in the show. Neat, huh?

So…what happened to Dusty Mills? Yeah, the little blonde elf that sat on the end of Kentucky’s bench. Kicked off the team? For laughing during the famous Ramel Bradley flop at Georgia? What about Morakinyo Williams and Dwight Perry? They were yukking it up as well. They were busted on Raycom sports coverage of the game. I was sitting at Chili’s in Charleston Town Center, W.Va. and I saw it. You saw it. Why was he the only one in trouble?

Mills said Gillispie called him into the assistants’ office in front of the entire team and told him he was through. Mills said he wasn’t even given a chance to explain himself. Gillispie told him he could tell the press whatever he wanted because he didn’t care. The alleged coach also told him he could transfer to some small (named) college and tell them about it because he didn’t want to hear it and he was sick of Mills. Apparently after that, Gillispie gave him a cussing.

Now, I don’t know if this account is entirely true. This is only one side of the situation that has been told. But, I bet we will never hear the other side of the story. I’m not sure I like this. It just doesn’t sit right. Mills was earning status as a crowd favorite. If UK had been winning games by more than 5 points or less, I am sure at the 45 second mark, the student section would probably been chanting to sub in Mills. Instead they have been biting their nails.

For all you Tubby fans out there, when UK got thrashed by Vandy, Minnesota got beat by 24 points at home by a 11-15 Illinois. Feel better? I don’t feel better either. Still sucks.

This will make you feel better. Check out my niece, Paige trying to get used to being vertical. See you later.
And here is my oldest niece Emma helping Aunt Beth get older.

Had About As Much As I Can Take...

2008-02-17T02:12:00.006-05:00

Is anyone other than me sick of all the coverage of the Roger Clemens/Brian McNamee steroid hearing? I would like to see a poll of sports fans that asked if they particularly cared one way or the other about the outcome of this hearing. I think the Mitchell Report has lost the direction of its initial intention—the eradication of illegal and performance enhancing drugs. Congress has decided to focus its accusatory beam of justice on one individual. Instead of following through with the entire list of names included in the Mitchell Report, they decide to absurdly chase one name. What was the reason behind the report again?

Honestly, if Roger Clemens is guilty of steroid or HGH use, and I think he may be, what does it mean, what about the other 35% of major league baseball that used it? Would it really matter if he did commit perjury in the hearing? This has come down to one guy and his decisions, alone, not about all the others. What is this going to do to curb the use of performance enhancing drugs? Nothing is the answer you are looking for.

I say the blame needs to be cast on Bud Selig and the rest of the lot of idiots in charge of major league baseball. They are the fellows in charge that turned a blind eye during the great homerun chase of 2000 with Slammin’ Sammy and Big Mac. No one was concerned then. I bet if Barry Bonds was in the home run chase mix that year, there would have been no question whether or not Bud would have attended all the potential record tying games. To stop the steroid and HGH use, MLB must adopt an iron-willed, zero-tolerance policy. “We don’t care if you have used performance enhancing drugs, but if you test positive in the 2008 season, you will be dealt with swiftly, severely, and unfortunately for you, ultimately.” How is that for a statement?

What about this Waxman guy overseeing the hearing? He looks like a character straight out of the Harry Potter movies with his upturned nose and caved-in eyes--a definitely comical sight. And the apology to McNamee for the attitude from the Republican peanut gallery? A tad bit of partiality for the accussee? Definitely.

But here is my biggest pet peeve of the whole ordeal. I wonder how much of our taxpayer money is funding these hearings? How much time and attention our elected officials, who should be solving real problems, are spending with this non-issue. Think about all the issues that are facing our nation today (economy, Iraq, healthcare, to name a few) and this issue with steroids in a sports entertainment is getting the whole nation’s attention. This is the biggest bunch of horseshit I have ever heard, seen, or smelled. Things like this make me want to throw a vote in for term limits.

Yes, Kentucky blows. The Vandy game was the most embarassing UK game I have ever witnessed. I had flashbacks to the LSU game back in the 90's when UK overcame a 31-point deficit in the second half for a win. This time there were no heroes. Nothing but awfulness (is that a word?...now it is). Total embarassment. No excuses. I guess Uncle Ance is eating crow. That and Arkansas, Ance's SEC team de-la-creme, getting beat soundly by UT.

UK rebounded nicely against a hot LSU team today. Bradley looked like a high schooler(?) against LSU. Good thing my boy Joe Crawford was there to make it happen. Joe Crawford is the guy who is willing to compete at a high level of intensity. UK is still a mediocre NIT team. Not a question. A statement from the truthiness of Island Pond.

Oh well, another day, another time, I will tell you more. Give me a shout.

All About Cats

2008-01-25T15:48:00.000-05:00

It seems that I have pretty much given up on the whole blog thing. I thought it was going to be easier to post with our computer at home functioning at optimum potential (a quote that probably only Pigg will understand), but with Beth surfing the net 3 hours a night, it is kind of hard to get in the time. Plus, I have been really busy at work lately and haven’t had the time to even e-mail myself at home with ideas of posts. Excuses, huh?

Anyway, we have had an ill cat. Biggun, Biggie, C-Lo, Chloe, or whatever her name is this week had a problem that the vets kept referring to as “going outside the box.” I referred to it as “pissing on our bed.” I found a couple of sites on the world wide interweb that discussed this problem. The web sites referred to the problem in the same manner as the vets. They did offer some causes such as urinary tract infections, changes to the cat’s environment, and simply a behavioral problem. A behavior problem…let’s see, is this one way when you learn that there is more than one way to skin a cat?

I took Chloe to the vet. The vet said for a plus size girl, she was pretty healthy. Her blood work came back perfect. The urine analysis came back sketchy so the lab is doing a bio culture on it right now. The vet said the easiest problem to fix would be a urinary tract infection—antibiotics, no sweat. The behavior problem sounds like a beast to cure. You have to move the litter boxes around or change them completely. Their food bowls will need to be moved. Beat one and pet the other. Pet one and beat the other. And it is all like test and tune. The only way that we would ever know if the changes work would be if we took the risk to let them come in our bedroom when we weren’t around or not in the bedroom. That is hardly a risk I am willing to take—right now, anyway.

Let me be clear in telling you not to be worried about Chloe. She never seemed ill or acted strange other than us finding cat urine in our bed. Yes, you can feel bad for us, if you wish.

Since one cat gets a story, I will tell you a story about Zoe. Actually, the story is more about Beth. Tuesday evening, I was in the living room watching American Idol while I was waiting for the UK/UT game to start. Beth was in the kitchen standing in front of the pantry. I assume she was looking for something to take to work to eat for lunch on Wednesday. I heard her talking to Zoe.

Beth: “You’re such a pretty cat. I just love petting you. I would never hurt you.”

SILENCE

Zoe: “RRRRRRREEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWRRRRR!!!!

Beth: “$%*&@#$^*&@%^$*&^#$ stupid cat! You make a %&*$ liar out me every day!”

Me: “AHH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was the funniest thing I have ever heard. You were professing your love for Zoe then you step on her. BWWWAHHHHHH!”

My sides were hurting after I stopped laughing.

Speaking of cats, the UK Wildcats seem to be having a turnaround. I think they have played well for the last four games. They are up against South Carolina tomorrow at Rupp Arena. I haven’t seen the line, but I am expecting more of the (recent) same. Go Cats!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-22T23:06:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Here is a little Christmas cheer. Beth and Santa's two little helpers.

P.S. New Year's shindig at our house. Holla and RSVP, please so I will know how many sausage balls to make!

2007 Key West Chicken Wing Tour

2007-12-11T18:51:00.000-05:00

Cayo Hueso, Conch Republic, Key West...it's all the same. A little island on the Straights of Florida, 90 miles north of Havana. We had a pretty good time, but for future reference, there isn't that much to do there unless you are into scuba diving/snorkeling. And more info for future reference, Key West isn't kid friendly...well, unless your kid is a functioning alcoholic. There was ample rain so there was no worries about getting sunburned.

We walked all over the island(in the rain) and saw pretty much all there was to see by day two. We went to the southernmost point in the contiguous 48. In the same area was the Hemingway House, yep, the house Ernest Hemingway resided in that has all the crazy six-toed cats. We didn't go in because it was $11 a person to go in and some guy who had just left the house said all there was to see was the cats. We checked out all the famous Duval Street haunts like Sloppy Joe's, Captain Tony's Saloon, and Hog's Breath Saloon. They were fun, but that kind of fun only lasts for a few hours.

At the Hog's Breath Saloon, there was a guy playing music from Nashville. He was taking requests. I asked him if he knew any Verne Gosdin songs...no. How about Gary Stewart? No. But, he did play Country Roads for Beth. The guy told me on the microphone in front of the crowd since he didn't know any of the songs I requested he would play something he knew I would enjoy...Rocky Top. That's what I get for wearing a UK hat and keep in mind this was four days after Tennessee beat UK in triple overtime. A similar scene with the song requests went down in Sloppy Joes. The guy didn't know anything I requested, but, hell, he knew Country Roads.

We ate at some decent restaurants: The Rum Runner, A&B Lobster House, The Conch Republic Fish Market to name a few. They were all decent, but I think I had chicken wings at all of them. Beth claimed I was on a chicken wing tour of Key West. I think she was correct. The wings I had at the Cuban restaurant were the best.

There was a crazy cat trainer guy on Sunset Marina each night behind our resort. He was an older French guy named Dominique. (I tried to post the video on here, but it was too large. Come over to the house and I'll let you check it out.) He seemed to be a sad old dude who went home at night and sipped cabernet and tried to teach his cats the French language. I am sure his show was the highlight of Beth's trip along with the conch fritters. She came home with confidence she could train Zoe to do the tricks. Now she is home, I think she has lost her dream realizing you can't teach an old cat(read "surly cat") new tricks.

And for Chase and Alisha, I caught a wild pirate in action working the tourists. They were having a pirate celebration the weekend we were leaving. Everytime I saw a pirate, I let loose a deep "Yaaargh, me hearties!" It always turned their heads and they usually gave me a "Avast, ye land lubber!" Goodtimes.

It was good to get back to Lexington, though. We came home Friday and watched UK play

horribly against North Carolina. The refs didn't help. We had a quick week of work and then this past weekend we went to our company's holiday party. Before the party we watched UK get thrashed by Indiana. It was really fun, believe it or not. Not the game, the party. The food was really good to be catered. It was a little rednecked in the fact the party was BYOB, but everyone hid their coolers well. The best 80's cover band I have ever watched, Long Duk Dong, was booked to play the party. Actually, I should say they rocked the party. Believe it or not, since back surgery, Beth still has the moves on the dance floor. Me, not so much, but I'll let you judge for yourself in a pic of me dancing with our friend Donna.

See you around.

Christmas Cheer

2007-11-30T22:22:00.000-05:00

This is some funny stuff. I got it from my friend Les's blog. Check it, yo! More later on the vacation.

Jealous Much

2007-11-16T21:55:00.000-05:00

Chloe was jealous, so here she is ... bad cat #2.

New Toy!!!

2007-11-16T21:34:00.001-05:00

For my 2nd wedding anniversary, I was gifted with a new digital camera. I got a Cannon PowerShot A560. It's pretty tight and I since I was playing around with it, I figured I would slam a picture of Zoe, a.k.a. Bad Cat #1. Check it, yo!

Thanks Beth! And to think, I only got you a set of dish towels.

I'm Awful, I Know.

2007-11-13T19:46:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it has been too long. That line is getting a little redundant and I am sure you are getting tired of hearing it. I just seem to be so busy anymore that by the time I get a chance to write a little something, I’m just not feeling it. I hate to force it. This time, since it has been so long, I will actually have a bunch of mishmash.

I can start back with the week after the LSU football game. Not much to report. Other than the stupid stuff I have been doing in the past few weeks. By stupid stuff, I mean injuring myself by not thinking things out. I was making a pot of chili and I was dicing up a fresh jalapeno pepper to add to the mix. I had washed my hands at least four times between then and bedtime when I was taking out my contacts. It didn’t matter. I know what pepper spray feels like, now. No resisting arrest for me. Stupid…more of that later.

That weekend was the Florida game. The tailgating was pretty cool with the masses walking by our tailgating spot to go to the library where ESPN’s College Gameday was filming. We saw some funny signs and t-shirts. The funniest one read, “Tim Tebow rhymes with douche bag.” Clever. It had to be a UK student that thought that on up. There was a pregnant lady tailgating beside us with a sign in the shape of an arrow. She held it pointing down to her belly. The sign said “Hey Kirk (referring to Kirk Herbstreit, of course) sign my future Wildcat!” And closer to gametime, she came back showing us where Kirk actually signed her stomach. Lunacy.

David W. and DK stopped by our tailgating spot on the way to the game. It was good to see those guys. Other than that, not much excitement was going on. I retained all my chest hair, anyway. The game was tense. Beth almost killed some guy. Long story. Ask her if you want details. I will say this, I always thought if Beth started a fight with some guy I would have to finish it. No, now, I think she could handle her own. UK lost. Douche Bag made Kentucky look very JV-ish.

That following week I was sort of busy getting ready for the fall fishing trip. A few of us met on the Lost Creek Plantation that Friday night so we could head out early Saturday morning. A couple of the crew, well, at least one person “dadn’t” (yeah, I said it) understand what early means and 8 a.m. means 9:30 a.m.

We made it to our cabins on Cherokee Lake around noon, just in time to watch the UK-Mississippi State debacle. The first beer was opened around 1 p.m. The Breeder’s Cup races I wanted to watch started around 2 p.m. I had spread about $60 across 5 races. UK’s game was over around 5 p.m. Eighth beer opened shortly thereafter. I didn’t win a single bet on any of the races. The fifth of Jim Beam Black Label was opened about 6 p.m. I will clarify this upfront, when the night was over just a little past the neck of the bottle was emptied.

Later on that evening after a few games of Texas Hold ‘Em, (not sure whose idea it was, could have been mine, I am just not pointing any fingers) my cousin Jarrod and I decided to arm wrestle. (I was on the right in the picture.) Remember earlier when I told you about getting hurt doing stupid stuff, well, this falls directly in that category. I was at a disadvantage from the get-go. When we got our grip, I was already in a Wolverine Wrist Lock where my hand was already bent backwards. When we started, instead of trying to pull my arm over the normal way, he was pulling towards himself as well. Doomed. Then, everyone in the cabin heard something pop. My arm. So, I just let it go. It tingled immediately then I couldn’t move it without pain. After playing three more games of Hold ‘Em, I decided to take a bunch of ibuprofen go to bed. When I woke the next morning, my arm felt a little better, but I couldn’t cast with it to fish or swing a golf club. My only options were to stay in Tennessee and drink or go home and heal. For the first time, I made the right decision. I headed home.

The drive home was painful. Every time I had to shift gears, the pressure I put on my elbow brought great pain. That was the longest three and a half hours of my life. Long story short, I went to the doctor the next day and she thought I had just sprained my elbow and wrist simultaneously. Don’t worry, it is feeling much better now. I would say I am at 90 percent. That’s my excuse for not posting more often, yeah.

We traveled to see the in-laws the following weekend. It was a really fun time. My nieces are growing like weeds. Emma cracks me up because watching her helps me see what Beth was like as a pre-adolescent girl. I am sure the way Emma acts isn't far off from Beth. Dennis and Jo Anne could probably confirm this for me. My niece Paige is so much bigger than the last time I saw her, which was the time when I held a door up for Dennis and Chris while they outsmarted the doorframe. Man, that was times. I also got to eat at my favorite wing joint, Quaker Steak and Lube.

Excited for the basketball season? I am. Well, I was…until the meltdown in the Bluegrass. There was a lot of grief when Charlotte’s Web or Gardner-Webb or whoever it was that thrashed the Cats last Wednesday. Billy Gillispie took the heat for the loss. I went on record two weeks ago saying I am not a Billy G fan. In my opinion he is another Tubby—an unproven coach with one team making a run in the NCAA Tournament. Had anyone honestly heard of Billy G two years ago. I’ll bet you heard of Acie Law IV before you hear of the G Man. Whatever, I don’t think we will be buying season tickets next year. A little early to say? Maybe.

I was a bachelor this weekend with Beth in Gatlinburg on a golf trip. Friday night I visited Brandon and his family in Frankfort. We hustled back to Lexington on Saturday to watch the football game at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was packed so we went to Harry's. The football Cats dropped it on Vandy in Nashville this past weekend in what seemed like the longest game ever. Both teams looked like OVC also-rans. There were penalties and injuries all over the field. Nasty football at best. The Cats were lucky to come out on top. With Beth in Gatlinburg on a golf trip with girlfriends, I had a few people over after the game. We had times. That’s about it.

I am looking forward to the Georgia game this weekend. I may make a huge pot of chili to bring in this cold weather. UFC on Saturday night. I will have to roll in to Buffalo Wild Wings a little early to get a good seat Saturday night. Come over and I will save you a spot. See you around.

P.S. Jess, I apologize for not calling you on your birthday. I hope you had a great one!

L S WHO?

2007-10-16T16:36:00.000-04:00

You asked for it now you are going to get it. Fortunately (or unfortunately) you are receiving the abridged version of the events that transpired on October 13, 2007 in Lexington, KY. The entire account of what is to be told may or may not be the truth, but they are, in fact, the truths as I remember them. This tale is not for the faint of heart. Please use extreme caution as you read. You have been warned.

7:30 AM All are awakened at 2533 Island Pond. “All” includes Beth, cats, and myself. I shower, shave, dress, and pack the car with the necessities. I was a little foggy-headed from the ten beers I consumed the night before. Hey, it was Midnight Madness. Beth was ready in record time.

8:10 AM We leave said address and make our way to the game. We stop at Speedway on New Circle for a bag of ice, a coffee (for Beth), and a mineral water for my re-hydration regime. The line at the cash register is long. The cashier asks if I have a Speedy Rewards card. I tell her no and I am heckled by the crack heads (literally) behind me for not having one. I ask myself two things: (Why do I feel uneasy every time I am inside the New Circle Loop (except for downtown)? And why aren’t these crack heads sleeping it off right now?

8:30 AM We arrive at our tailgating location. It is significantly more crowded at this time than the Florida Atlantic game two weeks earlier with a 2 ½ hour earlier game time. There are a lot of purple and yellow dressed tailgaters. Not a concern, just a little ticked there aren’t more dedicated UK fans with as much enthusiasm. We set up our tailgating spot.

8:40 AM Brandon calls to tell us he will be there around 8:55 AM. He uses his child as an excuse to be late. No one buys it. Fellow tailgater, Lindsay, arrives. Nothing more significant to report other than the ridicule I receive for wearing Carhart coveralls while trying to stay warm. It is all of 45° F with no sun shining in our vicinity. This is the first time I am called a redneck by my wife.

8:50 AM Beth takes MY gloves I brought to keep MY hands warm. Good thing I brought two pairs of gloves. Beth has her hood pulled over her head. With her sunglasses on, I tell her she looks like the Unabomber. She replies again that I look like a redneck. Lindsay puts on a winter coat from the trunk of her car and has her hands shoved down the front pockets of her jeans. They are cold. I am smiling and warm. More LSU fans start to arrive.

9:00 AM Brandon arrives.

9:05 AM I tell Brandon the last episode of South Park was hilarious. He does not find it so amusing because he is a huge Bono fan. No surprise. I fire up the grill. Sausage links and pancakes are on the morning menu. More LSU fans start to arrive and this group is drinking liquor. The UK fans at the end of the parking lot have a huge sound system. I hear Johnny Cash’s version of “My Old Kentucky Home” for the first time. I am grooving on it.

9:30 AM Brandon commences in the partaking of Bud Light. The sausages are cooked and the first pancake is just starting in the pan. All is good. LSU fans are chatty.

9:35 AM I am receiving plenty of criticism from the people for whom I am cooking pancakes and they offer plenty of advice, but no one seems to willing to bang this hooker, they are content just holding her legs. I explain to them my plight of their incessant whining and willingness to do nothing. They are quieted. The first pancake comes off the grill and it is a huge success. Beth re-iterates that I look like a redneck.

10:30 AM The pancakes are all but a memory and a full belly. I help Brandon to clean up round one of cooking. We debate asking the older LSU fans tailgating beside us if they would like some pancakes. We decide not to offer. We both agree LSU sucks. I agree to start drinking after 11 AM. Some guy from some charity bums some money from us for a worthy cause and gives us some nifty UK hats. Score. But the guy calls me redneck, but it’s okay because he calls Brandon a child molester. Cornhole boards come out. The LSU fans are amazed at the game and the name. Oh, the novelty. The first game it was Beth and I versus Lindsay and Brandon. Good guys win. (Yeah, that’s me and Beth, you A-hole.)

11:00 AM The LSU guys tailgating beside us ignore their wives and flirt with Beth and Lindsay. Brandon and I are discussing what we saw last night on television: Big Blue Midnight Madness, Hawaii is overrated, Colt Brennan is not, etc. We hear Johnny Cash’s “My Old Kentucky Home” for the third time. It’s getting old. My coveralls come off and Beth still calls me a redneck.

11:15 AM I forgot to get a beer (Busch Lite) at 11 AM. No rush. I am easy like Sunday morning. Another cornhole game breaks out. The good guys win again. Our parking lot is getting quite crowded with an even ratio of UK to LSU fans with one Buckeye wearing a Ted Ginn, Jr. jersey. Talk about out of place. Buckeyes…sheesh.

12:30 PM I have about 4 beers in me. I see an old fraternity brother from college with his chick who happens to live down the street from us. They chat for a minute and tell us they will be back in a while. Lindsay comes back from the port-a-potty with a tale that will make you shout EEWWWWW!. As she was hovering, her sunglasses fell into the hole of doom. There was no rescue attempt, only a sad face. Lindsay cursed her Asian ancestry. Good thing for her I had a pair of back-up sunglasses. There is a rough looking LSU fan passed out under the tree in front of my car. He had been drinking bottles of Icehouse since we had been there. He looked like he needed a nap.

1:00 PM Brandon, along with several others, are taking pictures of the passed out LSU fan with their cell phones. My buddy that stopped by earlier is coming back with a jar of what looks like gasoline. Yep, moonshine. He gets Brandon to take a pull. Brandon swears it is good. I take a pull. Tastes like apple juice, not bad. I noticed where he was tailgating. He was with a group from Mt. Sterling. I recognized a group of girls there. One happened to be an ex-girlfriend. Awkward. Not really. That just meant we wouldn’t combine the tailgating parties. I didn’t care. Eight beers gone. They are starting to taste like water. JC’s “Old Kentucky Home” for the 6th time. Hate it. We fire up the grill again for some chilidogs. The older LSU fans beside us ask if they could use some of the grill surface for their hotdogs. No problem. We find out these guys not only brought hotdogs to eat while tailgating without a grill, they didn’t bring buns or any condiments. What?

1:30 PM The hotdogs were awesome. Everyone is starting to get right. I suddenly find myself in a great deal of pain that seems to be emanating from my chest. Beth has reached up to grab my shirt to demonstrate something to Lindsay and pulled out no less that 100 of my chest hairs. Brandon who seems to think this is funny asks if Beth did it “like this”. He rips out about 200 more. No joke. I would have banged my beer can off of his forehead if it had not been half full of beer. I hate alcohol abusers. But, I shake it off and he apologizes and says he didn’t mean to do it that hard. He does this a lot when he drinks—over-exaggerates physical actions so when he demonstrates something, it really hurts. Just like it did originally, I am sure. Whatever. I will get him back someday.

2:00 PM I clean everything up and pack up what all goes in my car except for the necessities, i.e. cooler and chairs. This way, I can concentrate on boozing for the next hour before the game. I have somehow struck up a conversation with the LSU fan that was passed out under the tree. He bums a beer from me and asked me if I want a “smack”. Not sure what this was, I smoothly said, “HUH?” He holds out a can of Kodiak. Oh, no thanks. I am a Fresh Cope man, myself. He mumbles a lot, then, I just take off walking like I am going to the bathroom to lose him.

2:30 PM It works for about 30 minutes. He comes back. We start putting away everything else to get ready to walk over to the stadium. He wanders off back to his own crowd. I am catching hell from all sides for talking to the guy. I admit, it was not my greatest moment. I apologize to the crowd. Where is my beer?

3:00 PM We head to the game. Of course, we stop by the port-a-potties. Moving on. There is a lot of purple and yellow. Brandon and I down two beers before going in to the game. I have hit my magical number, 12. All is right.

*I am not going to discuss what events are transpiring on the field. You should have watched the game. I will discuss anything significant that happened in the stands.

First Quarter The game is tense. We score first. All is still right. There is a father and son pair of LSU fans in front of us. They are from Kentucky, they tell us. I don’t get it. The kid is fired up. He yells “Geaux Tigers!” over and over. At first, it is funny. UK 7-0.

Second Quarter LSU gets a little lead on us. No one is out of it. The adolescents behind us are rowdy. They are cussing up a storm. Their dad is quiet, but he does give me high fives along with his kids when we score. Quiet drunk, I guess. “Geaux Tigers” is getting old. LSU 17-14.

Third Quarter LSU is owning us. They score again making it 24-14. Brandon says he is leaving if LSU scores again before we do. Many times he says, it’s not looking good. I rebuff him and tell him it is still early. LSU gets a field goal, 27-14. Brandon does not leave. Cats finally score again. 27-21, bad guys. The stadium is louder than any other game to which I have ever been witness. “Geaux Tigers” has lost his voice. Awesome.

Fourth Quarter We drop two field goals on them to tie it up. And the game slips into overtime.

*To spare you the suspense and you know what happened, I will fill you in on the post game activities.

Cats win 43-37 in triple overtime. “Geaux Tigers” looked like someone’s whipping boy. As soon at the game was over, there was an eerie moment of silence and disbelief. That lasted all of two seconds. I was jumping up and down. A lot of folks weren’t sure that Hester didn’t get the first down. I saw him hit hard as soon as he hit the line of scrimmage and I knew there wasn’t enough forward momentum to carry him for two more yards. Cats win, baby! It was pandalerium, to say the least. (I know that it not a word.)

The goal posts were lowered quickly by the field crew to keep them from being torn down. Fans, slowly, started trickling over the wall and onto the field. Somewhere, Lee Todd was crying—not out of joy, but out of the $50,000 fine for the fans on the field. People were randomly getting arrested for who knows what. It was a very surreal experience. We watched it for about ten minutes and then, we decided to make our way up the stands to get out. You could forget about trying to go down to exit. The grounds surrounding Commonwealth Stadium was nuts. It took us about fifteen minutes to get back to the car and once in the car, it took us about 30 minutes to get back home.

No joke, I was in bed before 11PM. I was worn out from the beer, food, and excitement. All was right.

Let's do it all again this week for Florida. ESPN College Gameday will be in the house. Tailgating at 8AM!

I Forgot to Tie My Shoes on Thursday

2007-10-10T15:38:00.000-04:00

Yeah, that's how busy I have been. How goes it ladies and gents? I think I saw all 5 of my faithful readers some point and time over the past weekend. I think the problem was that not all of you were together at the same time. I will give you a quick rundown what events transpired over the past week.

Last Thursday, I broke out the grill for some chicken and ribs and such in preparation to watch the UK/South Carolina game. It was a not-to-often SEC Thursday night game. Sam came over to handicap the races at Keeneland the next day and to watch the game. Since my in-laws were going to Keeneland with us on Friday, they were on their way to Lexington from St. Albans. Game time.

The food was on. The game was on. The Cats weren’t on. They looked ragged. Andre’ Woodson looked ragged. For the most part the entire offensive unit looked like trash. The O-line was missing blocking assignments and they were letting SC’s defenders pour through like a sieve. The defense on the other hand looked like it could hold its own. They looked like a potential top-10 defensive unit, especially in the third quarter.

For the offense, it was turnover after turnover. Two of which were returned for touchdowns by SC’s Norwood. It was embarrassing to say the least. Woodson helped the most in making the team look undeserving. Of course, I always said Kentucky’s top-10 ranking wasn’t accurate, but my statement was based on the misgivings of the defensive squad, not UK’s effective offensive unit. They went flip-mode on me. I guess that shows us was UK could be capable of if both sides of the ball were on their A-game.

I am still optimistic about the team. They have actually over-shot my goals for them at this point in the season. I wanted them to be at least 4-2 going into this three game homestretch with LSU, Florida, and Mississippi State. They are 5-1. I wanted them to be close to the top-25 in ranking, if not in the top-25. They carry a 17 ranking. I think we can go 2-1 over this 3-game stand. LSU might pack an arse whooping back home to Baton Rouge with them. Florida definitely needs to take one back to Gainesville. Mississippi State…if we don’t give them one, it will be all for naught, anyway.

GO CATS! Tailgating starts at 8:30 a.m. I think we are going to do some pancakes and sausage on the grill. Oh yeah, I knew we would have some takers.

Sorry to digress. Friday morning, I introduced the heaven that is Chick-Fil-A breakfast to Dennis and Jo-Anne. They were not disappointed. We cleaned up and rolled over to Keeneland. It was a little rainy until about the time of the first post. We had a great time playing the ponies. We didn’t have any big winners, but we turned in a few tickets. I won a couple of times at Clocker’s Corner Bar. The Crowns and Coke were outstanding. Darley let us down on the free gifts this year—cheap plastic tumblers with a really dark picture of a horse on the side. Yeah, not as cool as the chairs we scored last year.

Since Beth and her parents left a few races early, I stayed at the track with Sam since he would give me a ride to the house afterwards. On our way out of Keeneland walking through the barns, Sam remembered that he read in The Daily Racing Form, Curlin, winner of the Preakness and Jockey Club Gold Cup(both Grade I’s) was stabled there. We decided to go looking for Steve Asmussen’s barn. We found it in no time. There was a big guy sitting in front of the entrance to the barn. Sam asked if this barn was Asmussen’s and the barn bouncer(?) said it was. We asked him if we could see Curlin. His reply was that Curlin was eating. Sam asked him which horse was Curlin. He nodded to the horse directly behind him. It was a tremendous looking horse, a muscled, chestnut colt with a white blaze running down his nose.

I still wasn’t sure that it was Curlin since we couldn’t see his nameplate on his bridle. When Sam dropped me off at the house, he said he would look him up on the old world wide interweb. I got a call from him about an hour or so later. Curlin confirmed. The day was already a great day. That call made it an excellent day for a horseracing fan such as myself. Goodtimes.

We killed some NY Strips and ribeyes on the grill for dinner with baked potatoes and baked beans. Yes, some of the baked beans I made for the family reunion. And speaking of that, what a great time we had. I think it was the funnest reunion I have ever been to. The food was great. There were some great cornhole games played and yours truly along with 899’s help started the largest wiffle ball game ever played, I’m sure. I just wished that I wasn’t out-drafted. My Uncle David was getting three picks to my one pick. This was evident after the top of the first when they took the field. Where we had about 6 outfielders, they had 12. I figure they had to overload if they wanted to beat us.

Later that night, Joel, Alex, Laura, and Adam came over to hang out. Joel even talked Aaron Epperson into coming over. We had a great time garaging it. It was a nice night after the heat of the day. According to T.G. Shuck, that was probably going to be the end of the heat for this year. Joel and I tried to save the world of the uninitiated, like Jonathan, from the evils of the Covenant and the Flood, but it got too late. Don’t worry, we saved the world the next day.

I have committed myself to the fall fishing trip even though this almost guarantees me no chance to bet on the Breeder’s Cup races that weekend, let alone watch them. I will be heading down to Cherokee Lake on the 26th, which is the Friday of that week. Give me a shout if you need a ride. Remember to cheer for the Cats on Saturday. 3:30 p.m. on CBS if you don’t have a ticket. Werd.

Heeeeeee's baaa-aaaaaack.

2007-09-25T15:29:00.000-04:00

times 3!

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

2007-09-24T16:03:00.000-04:00

And I will say it again. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” Yep, little brother west of Lexington has slipped straight out of the ranks of the AP Top 25. This is not a huge surprise to me. I knew something smelled fishy after the Cards let Middle Tennessee State score 40+ points against them the second game of the season. The sad part is their coach, Steve Kragthorpe, is probably to blame. Bobby Petrino left a talented crew of players on the roster and a preseason top-10 ranking. The defense was never that awesome, but this year, it down right stinks. I honestly hope they pull the rest of the season together to finish respectable, as long as they don’t beat WVU.

The word on the street is Louisville fans are calling for Kragthorpe’s head, a la UK fans over Orlando ”Tubby” Smith. Can’t say I would blame them. If the trend continues, it would be like running a Ferrari into the ditch. Like I said before, Petrino left UofL in good standing just like Rick Pitino left UK’s basketball team in good standing. We’ll see what goes down at NC State.

And since we're talking about college football, we might as well get this out of the way. What about those Cats? Yep, everyone doubted them before the UofL game. “I just hope we have a good showing.” (Yeah, that was myself five hours before game time.) “I don’t think we stand a chance.” (Guys tailgating beside us.) During the first half, people in front of us were not cheering. Some one called them assholes and told them to get up and cheer for the Cats or next time they should stay at home on the couch. (That was me.) Why pay that much money to just sit there during a game like that? Honestly, our seats are okay, but the view on ESPN Classics is much better. But, then again, they might have attended the game so they wouldn’t have to listen to Bill “I wish I could win one for the Gipper” Curry.

The Cats brought it home and made the AP Top-25 poll. I think this was the first time in the AP Top-25 since the 1983 season. Then, they rolled into Fayetteville, Arkansas and handed McFadden and crew a beatdown courtesy of Andre Woodson, Trevard Lindley, and true-freshman, Derrick Locke. They did look good. Plus, they proved the UofL game wasn't a fluke. I can’t remember the game announcers' names, but Dude, were they ever in love with McFadden and Arkansas. This was only short-lived. By the end of the third quarter, I think they wanted their daughters to marry Andre Woodson. Feeling the love now, are you? 14th in the AP Poll this week. Nice.

The joke that sits beside Kirk Herbstreit on ESPN Gameday, Lee Corso, said two weeks ago that UK had no chance of beating Louisville. This week after the Cats beat Arkansas, Lee said that UK was the team to watch in the SEC. Herbstreit did pick us against UofL. Colin Cowherd has picked UK in two huge games this year. He picked the Cats to beat UofL and Florida. So far, he is one for two. Go Cats.

UK plays Florida Atlantic this weekend. It is an early game, so I am assuming the tailgating will start around 9 a.m. I think we are going to do some bacon and eggs on the grill. Sounds good, huh?

This weekend Beth and I rolled east to St. Albans to see her parents and family. I scored some long awaited birthday gifts Friday night from them. I snagged an awesome grilling apron with nothing less than, “J-Delicious” embroidered on the front. It has a pocket for a canned or bottled beverage of your choice. Dennis, I think I will choose the “Awesome Beverage”. It also has a bottle opener on a string and extra pockets in the front. Jealous, I know. They also gifted me with “A Taste of Home” grilling cookbook. Necessary. Thanks a bunch guys!

The next day, Beth’s brother Chris had signed us up to help him install a new French door on the back of his house. What was supposed to be a two-to-three hour job took pretty much all day. I recall helping Dad put the new door on the back of their house one day. I think it pretty much went the same way. Chris and Dennis did most of the work. I think I was there to look good and do some heavy lifting. The finish product looked really good and no one needs to know the what’s and how’s. It was a good time all in all.

Opening Day at Keeneland is next Friday. I have already put in my time-off request form and this morning it was signed. So, this is an open invitation for all those who wish to join me in playing the ponies. The first 3000 paid visitors get a free gift from Darley Jonabell Farms. Last year, we were given free tailgating chairs. The year before, I got a free hooded windbreaker. Who knows what you can score this year?

I am going to leave you guys with another pic of some of the dirt we do on the grill. This was at my buddy Sam's house after the Arlington Million back in August. (I hit the trifecta and $2 across on the 8-1 winner for about $170.) Try not to get too hungry looking at this. Give me call.

Not Again

2007-09-10T16:28:00.000-04:00

I’ll be brief with this. It shouldn’t take long and I am sure most of you will agree with me on this. I am not a perfectionist, at least when it comes to sports and sports performance. But, for the love of Pete and his dog, what is the UK football coaching staff doing? I know UK won 56-20, but hear me out.

Andre Woodson, labeled preseason as the best quarterback in the Southeastern Conference, only threw one pass downfield in the first half of Saturday’s game against Kent State and it was for a touchdown. What does that mean? Was Brooks just running the backs to build their confidence? What about Woodson’s confidence? Is he not the most important cog in the machine that is Big Blue? (See the last line of my latest post.) These past two games, Woodson has only averaged a little over 200 yards passing per game. I can tell you right now, and this opinion is probably congruent with all the other Cat fans across the Commonwealth, if he doesn’t get at least 320 yards passing this Saturday, there will, for sure, be another Governor’s Cup trophy sitting on UofL’s campus come Monday. The guy has a cannon attached to his shoulder. Let him use it so UK can get an early lead over these early season pushovers and the underclassmen can get some good minutes in before the big games.

Steve Brown, (a.k.a. Mr. Fancy Pants Offensive Coordinator or should I dare say...a.k.a. Mike Archer, Jr?) why, oh, why would you not blitz against a quarterback that can’t throw the ball downfield? The only pass Kent State’s Edelman threw downfield was intercepted. The rest of the time he handed the ball off, scrambled, or threw short passes in the flats or over the middle. The only real threat was the ground game. I knew that, my buddy Duane knew that, and even his 14 year old daughter knew that. Shove four down lineman and a couple of linebackers in the box, they will be forced to throw and Edelman did throw poorly, 12-28 for 129 yards and one interception.

UK, of all the years to jerk the fans around, do not do this to us again. All the puzzle pieces are all there. Coach like you belong in the SEC. Louisville won’t run out of gas in the second half like the first two teams you played. If anything they play better in the second half. Think about it.

Legs and Feet

2007-09-04T16:23:00.000-04:00

Where to start? Somewhere where I left off, I guess, would be the logical point. Okay. Three weekends ago, we went to Louisville for Paige’s 30th birthday celebration. She had reserved the house bar in this cool Irish joint called O’Shea’s. It was a really neat scene. Imagine A1A if it were decorated entirely as an Irish bar. Yep, it was that big. There were quite a few people there I hadn’t seen in a while. It was good to play catch-up with those folks. The #'s1 and 1a questions asked were: “Do you have any kids?” and “When are you going to have kids?”

What do you say to people when they ask you that? I preferred the smart-arsed answers like, “No, no kids. We are practicing with cats right now and it’s not looking good. They are both fat and home alone.” That would be strike one and two if you asked me. I can see why the conversations didn’t go much farther. I wonder why people don’t like me?

Really, we had a pretty good time. David bin Speeden was working on his angel wings. Driving 12 people around Louisville on such a festive occasion couldn’t have been that fun, nor self-rewarding. Do I see a name change to David bin Chaufeurin’ on the horizon? Paige walking down Baxter Avenue barefoot was the best part of the night. No doubt.

Two weekends ago, we traveled to Wiley Fork in Knott County to a double-deuce birthday party thrown for Unit 899’s fiancé, Alex. There was a ton of food, good food, mind you, and guitars flying around everywhere. I ran a grill that was the foundation of the mountain behind Joel’s place. There was a dancing contest--shopping cart, lawn sprinkler, flying squirrels, and such. Joel and Tim Skinny had the late night concert on the back porch that was too much or too late—take your pick.

I’m not sure if you guys have ever seen the movie, Snatch. If you have, I will refer you to the gypsies(Brad Pitt's character) and their dialect of cockney English. There was a guy there named Eugene who, it seemed, was a construction foreman. Eugene spoke American Hillbilly cockney, so think of Farmer Fran from of The Waterboy. When I heard Eugene talking on the back porch, I went in the house to get Beth to listen to this guy. He was telling a story about this migrant worker who was reporting to him on a job site. The guy must have tried to take a shortcut on the job orders and must have messed something up. Eugene was explaining how he gave the guy the down-the-road for what he did. Of the five minutes the story lasted, I really only understood the phrase “legs and feet”. Apparently Eugene was telling the poor guy that they didn’t hire him for his brain or managerial skills, they hired him for his legs and feet. Makes sense to me.

Following that long night at McCool’s. The next day we had a birthday party and the Lost Creek plantation for my grandma’s 80th birthday. Almost everyone in the family was there. The only problem was the heat and flatulence. Yes, you heard me and it didn’t come from any of the folks who came from the shindig on Wiley Fork either, as one would naturally assume. Beth and I were sitting at a table in the yard and my great aunt ____, trying to keep it as anonymous as possible, had just walked up in front of us and BAM! Right in our faces. We evacuated immediately, still in disbelief. We reported the incident only to find out that we weren’t the only victims in the needless and merciless gas attacks from this individual.

Other than being shat on, the day was pretty cool. It was really nice to see the whole family again, just like we will again in October. You think this event would have sufficed for the family reunion, but no. Moving on…

The next day, I had to go to Cambridge, Maryland to a conference for work. They put us up in a swank resort. Nice. It seems like they fed us crab three meals a day. I wasn’t complaining while I was there, but I think I am a little burned-out on crab meat for a while. I had the experience of shelling steamed crab. Some friends my co-worker and I had met while at the conference, schooled us in the art of shelling crabs. Long story short, it takes about three Budweisers to shell a crab. Oh yeah, if you are ever at a reception where you are given a limited number of tokens for free drinks, tip the bartender a dollar with each token. You may get some of the tokens back.

If I didn’t hear from you on this past Friday, then shame on you for not calling me on my birthday. It was uneventful, yet, very satisfying. I took the day off from work to get some errands done, i.e. tires rotated, oil change, car wash, etc. Once Beth got home from work, we had an early dinner with my parents at Malone’s. It was a great dinner. Thanks Daddio! We shopped around for a new computer at the new Best Buy location in Hamburg for two hours. Stopped at Meijer’s to buy some tailgating necessities for the next day. I think I was in bed asleep by 10 p.m. See, uneventful.

Saturday, of course, was UK’s first home game and they were pitted against the mighty Colonels from EKU. I'll get into more of that later. It took us a while to find a tailgating spot, but once we found a great place, we did gate some tail. Brandon broke out the grill. There were burgers and dogs, veggies and dip, cold beer, and salt and vinegar potato chips, if you could wrestle them from Beth. Everyone was abuzz with the news of Appalachian State, last year’s Division 1, AA champions, located in Boone, NC (not to be confused with Grundy, Virginia’s Appalachian School of Law) with the enrollment of a little over 15,000, thank you, defeating Michigan at Ann Arbor earlier in the day.

By game time, there was excitement in the air as well as the anticipation of the unknown. What was the real story with UK? Two minutes into the game, we knew the Cats' first loss wouldn’t come at the hands of EKU. Maybe next week with Kent State? Doubt it, but who knows? We will see you there. My advice for Rich Brooks is that he had better take it one game at a time.

I have to go for now. I am half-promising more frequent posts once we get a new computer. I know there has been some serious slacking. Dennis and Jo Anne, keep those Mountaineers going. I don’t think they hear me cheering in Lexington. I’ll catch you later and leave you guys with the most popular quote after the game: “If something happens to Woodson, Kentucky is SCREWED!”

"Points!"

2007-08-08T16:30:00.000-04:00

How is everyone on this fine Hump Day? Dude, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean Wednesday. I know it’s hotter than hell over here and it seems like it only getting hotter. It’s the humidity that makes it so bad. Joel says that is bull honkery. We will find out next Rocktober at Joel and Alex's wedding in Arid-zona.

There hasn’t been much going on lately. We’ve been layin' low and trying to stay out of the heat as much as possible. We ran to Jackson last weekend to see Mom after her birthday. Good food. I played a few games of Buck Pitch with Dad, Granny, and Aunt Ruth. I am glad that I am not the one getting jumped on for making bad plays anymore. Ask me in confidence and I will tell you whose game is suffering.

On the way back from Jackson, we swung into the company picnic at Camp McKee in Levee, Kentucky. For those of you not sure where this is located, it is on Ky. 11 between Clay City and Mt. Sterling. It is a pretty neat place with a bunch of activities to do such as fishing, scavenger hunting, rappelling, hiking, zip lining, swimming, canoeing, shooting firearms, geo-caching, sweating, etc. Yeah, it was roasting outside. Beth had some relief from the heat. She was fortunate enough to man a dunking booth for a half an hour. Before you ask, no, I won’t let you ask. I can’t believe you would think that I would stoop low enough to dunk my own wife. I mean seriously. Okay…but I did it just once and the money was for a great charity. No harm, right?

I played in a cornhole tournament at the picnic with one of my friends, J-Way, a superb cornhole thrower. After two games when the scores combined were 42-3 in our favor, we found ourselves in the semifinal round playing against Sam, yeah, you know him, and another guy. I think we won that one 21-13 and we were in the finals playing against two guys I had never seen before in my life. They were good. They were real good. I think the final score was 21-7. In the words of my boy, J-Way, “They throttled us.” And you can tell by the score that statement was no exaggeration. Come to find out, they were two college punks, one of who’s mother works there (but I didn’t see her at the picnic entire day) who have nothing better to do than toss back cold ones and toss corny ones. Not fair. Plus, I had to switch sides and bags for the last game. I had to give myself some excuse, I guess.

The picnic wasn’t a total washout. Beth won a $250 gift card from Best Buy. Bonus. I didn’t win anything, but I got a free T-shirt out of it and so did everyone else.

We have picked up a couple of new hobbies/forms of exercising. I am sure most of you heard I had purchased a tennis racket. Well, Beth decided to buy one for her, as well. We hit a few balls on Monday night. Beth has more potential as a tennis player than what I have. Plus, she looks better playing tennis than I do, I am sure. The other new activity is Backyard Badminton Battle Royale. There aren’t any rules that I can tell other than you have to hit the shuttlecock across the natural drain that runs across the middle of the backyard. When you think you have scored, you shout “Points” or “Double Points” whenever you feel it necessary. Arguments usually ensue after the declaration of “Points” and if you plead your case correctly, you get “Points”. I’m not sure how many “Points” it takes to win, but Beth usually lets me know when the game is over. Good times. I dare you to challenge Beth to a game. She’s a tough competitor.

Barry Bonds did the damn thing last night. He got it out of the way. I am concerned that the sports media outlets won’t have anything to discuss now. I will give you my take again as I had in an earlier post in answers to questions directed towards me at work.

Q. Are you happy Bonds broke the record?

A. Yes. I like to see people overcome struggles, especially struggles that pits them against so many.

Q. Do you think A-Rod will break Bonds’ home run record?

A. I hope so. Records are made to be broken. I like to see history made. I would like to be able to describe the whole scene to my grandkids someday.

Q. So, you aren’t a Barry Bonds fan?

A. I wouldn’t say that at all. I am not his biggest fan. I am a Dale Murphy-kind-of-guy. (By the way, Dale Murphy ripped him the other day in the media. I always thought of Dale as being a mouth shut-kind-of-player, but maybe he has gotten a little crotchety in aging and watching the game change for the betterment of the batters.) But, I know Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez probably aren’t much different from each other, as far as people go. Both real A-Holes, I’m sure. Bonds has shown quite a bit of humility in the past few months as the chase became inevitable. I don’t know if that is a show to ease the backlash from the media and the dissenters. A-Rod has always been a real overpaid putz. But, both guys have revolutionized the game in their own way.

Q. Has baseball been jaded from this whole steroid journey?

A. Baseball has been jaded since the astronomical salaries of the players. But, for professional athletes, I think they are paid less for the actual time they are on the job and on the field of play. Bonds certainly hasn’t helped the situation, but I will argue against anyone the fact that Barry has never tested positive for steroids. “If it doesn’t fit you must acquit.” Don’t say it’s obvious he has used them. You weren’t saying anything when Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire were hammering homers in the summer of 2000. No one did. Bud Selig can only blame himself that the steroid witch hunt started about 10 years too late.

I know I will probably get some responses to my answers about the Home Run King, so bring it.

Stay cool. I gotta go.

Mom

2007-08-01T08:13:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday, MOM!!! I love you!

Now that I have set the good kid example, wish your mother happy birthday, ASAP! If you can, go see her. I'll be seeing her this Friday. Be there or be square! Holla!

37, Like the Band in Morehead

2007-07-25T09:10:00.000-04:00

Happy anniversary Mom and Dad. On this day, 37 short years ago, Mom and Dad set forth in matramonial bliss. Be a good kid and make sure you give them a shout and wish them a happy anniversary. Shame, really, they got remarried. Dad to his 7-iron and Mom to Fluff the cat. Just kidding. That was funny though.

Back in the Saddle Again

2007-07-24T16:26:00.000-04:00

Can it! Stop it right now or I swear I won’t write another sentence. I know it has been too long since the last post. I might as well tell you my whole life story all over again because I am sure you have forgotten. Good thing you have finally quit your whining because I would have pulled this car over right here.

Now, I am sure you know that I have been utterly and entirely too busy of a dude to keep me from entertaining you knot-heads the past month or so in electronic text. I apologize for my inability to keep you amused weekly or the like. I hope to remedy this, but I will not promise anything.

It does feel good to be back on the net. Just like falling off of a bicycle, I am easing back into the groove here. How about a fastball?

Laura engaged? Yep, you heard me. Adam (who lives close enough to the Pond that I can hear his horn honking) has decided to spell Dad Randall El in the caregiver department. I don’t think a date has been set or anything like that, but I will definitely keep the Pond posted. A guaranteed, goodtime will be in the making, I’m sure. Congratulations to the two of you.

The college football season is going to be here in no time. I think, Brandon, once again, dutifully reminded me on Saturday that the opening weekend was 41 days away. So, by the time you read this, the season is 37 ½ days away. I can smell it. The bite of fresh cut grass and the aroma of charcoal and hickory-smoking grills fill the air in the shadows of UK’s Agricultural Building courtyard where we tailgate. The occasional thrown football flies overhead and random C-A-T-S cheer heard in the distance makes me smile just thinking about it. That was a downer about Wesley Woodyard’s injured wrist. I just hope he is back in time for the UofL game.

Yep, this is what my grill looked like this weekend. This is how we do it on the Pond, if you didn't know. Yes, that is a new charcoal grill. Don't be jealous.

Thankfully, my yard is a green again following the bouts of rain we had in the past few weeks. I think I will mow tonight, as a matter of fact. I actually received a few good compliments on the yard this weekend in the form of, “Whatever Chemlawn is charging you, it’s worth it.” And to that I say, “No doubt.”

A little bit of traveling is on tap this weekend. My mother-in-law, Jo Ann is turning the big 6-0 this week. Happy birthday to you! So, you can find us in St. Albans this weekend with cake and ice cream and Max (family pooch). And if we are lucky, Dennis will nail down some of his family-famous chili Max’s and roasted ears of corn on the side.

Good luck this weekend, 899. Hit a homer. Pond-signing off.

UFC Me

2007-06-19T16:12:00.000-04:00

We have made it to the most boring part of the year. There are the remnants of the College Baseball World Series and as soon as Louisville is eliminated (unless they win) so will be all my interest in baseball for the rest of the season. I’ll take that back. You might catch me watching the Reds play when Homer Bailey is pitching. On Saturday, Brandon dutifully reminded me of how many days until the college football season begins. He said we were 76 days from the first of September. That, of course, was Saturday at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Buffalo Wild Wings was the same as always, yet, different. Excuse me while I elaborate.

I am used to the different types of crowds that congregate there for different sporting events. With UK basketball games, there is a sea of blue with a common cause. For college football, there is a vast array of colors determined by the television schedule. Good luck finding Waldo that day. For NFL games, there is the same array of colors, yet there is more trash-talking going on between the patrons. All of which makes me laugh. No one, unless you are sitting at my table, can guess who I am cheering for. NFL apparel is just too ugly for me to wear. I think they were the lone sponsor of Zubaz pants.

BW3’s has a slightly different feel when they are showing the UFC pay-per-views. There is occasional cheering when the pace of the fight gets heavy, but most of the time it is pretty quiet. There is zero—and I mean zero—trash-talking. Ever watch UFC? These guys aren’t always ripped, i.e. Chuck Liddell. Who knows who is an amateur mixed martial artist? Someone may take your trash-talking and shove it where you sit.

Brandon likes to point out that the sport requires no athletic ability. I retorted with the question of the last time you got in a fight or wrestled with someone (Joel, I swear we were tied 2-2) how did you feel after 45 seconds. Extremely winded? Seeing stars? A little dizzy? These guys fight for three 5-minute rounds. No way do I know anyone who could handle that without immense training. Don’t worry. He also considered Lance Armstrong to be a non-athelete.

Anyway, the UFC fights were crap. Pretty boring fights, except for the Clay Guida/Tyson Griffin fight. Imagine Scott Stapp from Creed fighting a younger, clean-cut, Ken Shamrock. Not a fight, I would say, but in the words of Captain Teneille on Most Extreme Elimination, “Well you’re wrong!” Really, though, the whole thing sucked. The main event between Okami and Franklin ended in a bogus decision for the American, Franklin, after the most boring fight ever. If two counter-strikers are billed together, skip it. They are both just sitting there waiting for the other to throw a punch. Snooze fest.

“Look man, I gotta go!” --Donny Baker

The Weekend? Already?

2007-06-15T15:21:00.000-04:00

Not expecting a two-fer, huh? Two in one week? What a privilege has been given to you? I like to keep you on your toes. Again we have found ourselves facing the weekend with an awkward stare. All week long, wishing and, in some cases, praying for that day to come, yet, we are asking ourselves, “What am I going to do now?” Beer? Always a viable option.

I don’t know if the ‘Pond faithful have heard the bad news coming from UK’s campus today. Apparently, UK’s injury-prone big man, Jared Carter, has re-injured his shoulder and is awaiting test results to determine the severity of the injury. To me this feels like salt poured in the open wound left by Randolph Morris. So, we are now looking at starting freshman, Pat Patterson, and still green, sophomore, Perry Stevenson, to control the inside? Someone, please give me some better options.

San Antonio kept it real. A four game sweep of Cleveland and viola, new NBA champs. A lot of people don’t like the Spurs because of their boring style of play. It almost seems like James Naismith is their coach. I guess he sort of is. Gregg Popovitch and James Naismith, inventor of the game of basketball, went to grade school together. Not really, that was a joke, but both coached basketball at the University of Kansas at some point in their careers. Popovitch and his old school style of play, ha ha, get it? Not funny? Moving on, then.

I honestly can’t understand how a team like Cleveland even made it to the NBA Finals. For the life of me, I cannot remember the last time a team with one marquee player lead a team to the finals. Refreshers, please? How did this team beat the talent packed Pistons in the semifinals? A few will disagree, but the officiating in the series with Detroit was horrendous with most of the bad calls going on way. “Do you believe?” In bull honkery, now I do. I still am sticking to the notion that David Stern decided since LeBron James was the league’s most exciting and franchise-able player, that he would get the Cavs to the Finals and, once there, would be on their own. (In my best Yoda voice) “Fell like the Empire, they did.”

I had called Dad the day after Cleveland beat out Detroit in the semifinals. I asked him who he thought would win the championship. His reply:

“Whoever the NBA wants to win.”

The bottom line from your Daddy!

I honestly like to watch LeBron James. I would consider myself a fan of his. I’m not a fan of the Cavs, just James’. I didn’t even like Cleveland when Tim Couch played for the Browns. Cleveland may rock, but it is not my song. Anyways, in the finals, James just wasn’t clutch when the great ones need to be great. He kept a turnover average that would have made UK’s Ramel Bradley look like All-SEC first team material. He’s just not “King” James material, yet. He’s getting better, though. He has a lot to take away from this four-game sweep--a great learning experience.

Our company golf scramble is tomorrow. I have been assigned to a drinking team with a golfing problem. It might be a long day. I just hope I make it to B-Dubs in time to watch the UFC 72 pay-per-view at 3 p.m. Who you got? Franklin or Okami? My money is on Yushin Okami. Check it.
P.S. Les, I haven’t heard any rumors about a contract for a Perdue/UK basketball series.

I'm Still Going To Win

2007-06-11T15:24:00.000-04:00

“You woke up this morning the world turned upside down,
Thing's ain't been the same since the Blues walked into town.
But you're one in a million you've got that shotgun shine.
Born under a bad sign, with a blue moon in your eyes....

When you woke up this morning, when you woke up this morning,
When you woke up this morning, you got yourself a gun.”

--“Woke Up This Morning” Written and performed by A3

Ah, the end of the Sopranos. Everyone on the internet is complaining that the ending wasn’t really and ending due to the open endedness (Is that even a word? I didn’t think so.) in the final scene. Tony, Carmela, and A.J. were sitting in the restaurant waiting for Meadow to arrive. There were several ominous moments of foreshadowing flipping by in the last two minutes…scruffy looking guidos sitting at the bar of the diner, slow motion eye shifting, and undetermined blank facial expressions. The door opens and the screen goes black with Journey’s Steve Perry singing “Don’t stop believing’….Don’t stop...” The music stopped on a nickel.

“Why not a dime?” you ask. That’s because I don’t have Uncle Corrado Junior Soprano’s stash of loot.

For me, the final episode flew by. It seems like it was only minutes into the opening and Beth said it’s nine thirty-seven, what it going to happen. I wished it could have gone on into infinity. For the last six or so years of my life, the Sopranos have meant to me a wind-down of sort for my weekends. I jump in the back of a white Escalade and I take a drive down the New Jersey Turnpike with Tony Soprano in the opening credits. I grab the remote to my home theater system and turn up (no, “crank” is the correct verbage) the subwoofer so I can feel the bass in the theme song. The cats scoot upstairs quickly to escape the noise. As I watch, I can almost smell the smoke coming off of Tony’s cigar and the breeze coming in the windows. It takes me away from the unavoidable Monday morning just a night’s sleep away. I know my Monday morning isn’t as dangerous or as perilous at the reality I am settling into, but at nine on a Sunday evening, I take that chance.

I was at peace with the ending. I am not sure of the mood of all the other viewers, but I wanted Tony to win. I always wanted Tony to win. When he killed one of his captain's, Ralphie Cifaretto, when he killed his nephew, Christopher Moltisanti, when he killed his cousin, Tony Blundetto…no matter what dirt he got on him, I wanted him to come out clean. Joel and I always joke around about us getting punked out or screwed over by something, but we always say, “I am still going to win.” In my books, Tony was still going to win. All the bad actions over the seasons had to have recourse in his life and, obviously, in this series finale. Had to. Luckily for me, there was an option the writer/director, David Chase, gave the viewers. I think the silent blank screen was for your imagination to continue where the cameras left off. Everyone like myself who wanted to see Tony win, imagined it was Meadow coming through the diner’s doors to join her family with a big smile on her face. For those wanting to see Tony receive his comeuppance, the blank screen was to imagine the New York guys coming through the doors with guns blazing. I don’t think the ending could have been any better. I will miss you Sopranos. Salud.

Noticed the long delay in the entry of this post, did you? I have been super-busy with everything. Work has been a steamroller. I have had resurgence in my passion for golf. Horse racing is almost at a peak right now. And, I have had a lot of extracurricular events going on during the weekends, i.e. visiting with family and friends…not that I am apologizing to you for me having a life and not fulfilling your “Island Pond-jones-ing”. I’ve just been busy, almost to the point where I have so much to say that I don’t want to say anything. But, I wouldn’t do you like that, now would I?

What about the Belmont Stakes? Rags to Riches was phenomenal. I am smelling the Horse of the Year Eclipse Award here. Maybe, Filly/Mare of the Year Eclipse at the least. Five wins in six races and four of them Grade I's. Forget about it.

As I was calling in my bets to my Redstone Bodog bookie, Sam, I had talked myself out of betting on the Belmont Stakes. Big mistake. I looked down at what bets I had considered for the race card. I had written down in the corner of the scratch piece of paper for the eleventh race at Belmont a three-horse tri-box with the three names in this order: Rags To Riches, Curlin, and Tiago. Now, I couldn’t see anyone in this race beating Curlin. He is a magnificent colt, but there was something about this filly, the lone filly, that I really admired.

When the race started I figured out exactly what that was, her maturity. She stumbled moderately out of the gate (click through the photos on her NTRA bio page to see a pic of the stumble). Instead of a hurried, choppy gate to catch back up to her normal stalking position at the clubhouse turn, she made low, long reaches with her front legs taking her time to correct herself. Maturity. She ran three to four wide around the majority of the mile and half, not saving herself any distance. When the field came to the stretch and I saw her accelerating on the outside, I knew this horse would be in the hunt. Neck and neck she steamed down the stretch with Curlin. Moments later she edged ahead. Curlin, a ferocious stretch runner in the least, fought back for the lead. Eye to eye, again, they ran. Rags To Riches decided in the final yards, “This is ladies night and the feelings right.” And the rest will be history. Not since a filly named Tanya in 1905 had another filly won the Belmont Stakes. This race so much reminded me of the final race of Seabiscuit’s career in the Santa Anita Handicap with his win over Kayak II. Almost brought a tear to my eye.

Is it college football season, yet? I can’t wait until the first UK home game. It will be a blast, my first year as a UK football season ticket holder. I went to enough UK football games last year to almost be considered a season ticket holder, but this year I will have my own seats. Every time I hang out with Brandon, he dutifully tells me how many days are left until the season opens. Goodtimes. Dre Day every day this fall, right, DK?

Enough for now. You guys take care. Let me hear from you.

From the Top of Clinch, I Can See into the Mystic

2007-05-16T16:47:00.000-04:00

“When that foghorn blows, I will be coming home
Yeah when the foghorn blows, I want to hear.
I don’t have to fear it and...
I want to rock your gypsy soul, just like way back in the days of ole.
And magnificently we will flow into the mystic”
--Van Morrison “Into the Mystic”

This great little ditty was playing as I began writing and I figured I would remind you guys of this nice laid-back tune. There is just something about this song that sort of sets me adrift. I don’t know why.

The Derby came and went once again without me cashing a ticket. I had a $60 tri part wheel picked (three horses on top, 5 in the middle, and 7 on the bottom) that would have paid about $220 if I had only bet it. A buddy of mine from work, Tom, talked me into going halfers on a $120 tri part wheel (5 horses on top, 5 in the middle, and 8 on the bottom). After we picked out the horses, I went and placed the bet. When I returned, I told Tom, “You realize that we left the early line favorite out of the entire trifecta.” He looked at me and shrugged, noting his discontent with my notion. “We’re going for the big bucks, here,” he chuckled. We parted our ways after the seventh race with the promise to call the other when the ticket hit. There was no call.

Beth did hit the trifecta with a $36 dollar tri part wheel. I was super excited for her. I really didn’t care that I didn’t win. It was great race. My final pick, Hard Spun, ran second after setting a driving pace the entire race until the stretch and still rode out strong. Street Sense had me awestruck has he pounded down the stretch, passing Hard Spun. He looked good. He looked real good. This horse is as real as Barbaro, Smarty Jones, Afleet Alex and the like. You might just see a Triple Crown winner this year. You may or may not have heard it here first.

I got down to Tennessee for a little bit this past week. The bad news is that I didn’t get to make the first cast. Not for lack of want to, it just didn’t fit into 899’s schedule. You have to ask him what his schedule was. I did play a round of golf at one of my favorite courses, Clinchview Golf Course. It is near Bean Station, Tennessee lying in a valley under the watchful eye of Old Man Clinch Mountain. Great views.

We also rolled in 18 holes at Millstone Country Club outside of Morristown, TN. This course was something else…not in a good way. For a Tuesday afternoon, the course was packed. So, the round was pretty much hurry-up-and-wait-golf for the entire 18 holes. There were as many hackers there as can be found at The Rock (Meadows) in Clay City. There was housing development going on in the area. This brought a parade of dump trucks hauling dirt in 30-minute cycles. There was a set of train tracks on the backside of the course with trains running around every 25 minutes. On the other side of the train tracks was an airport. This airport was fairly busy. There were smaller prop planes coming in around every 5-10 minutes. I’m not sure what all that was about. In between the “fores”, trains, planes and dump trucks, there wasn’t much golf to be found. Sounds like a country song if I ever heard one.

I let the cat out of the bag on my grilling skills down in Tennessee. Some of my uncles were accusing me of this trip being my first down there since I had never “Bobby Flay’d” before. Don’t worry. I didn’t let their applause get to me. “I’m the most humble person I know.” Who said that for a dollar?

This past weekend was one of the funnest weekends I have had since I don’t know how long and it included at Morehead State Graduation. How can that be? It involves the fam and cooking out on Da Pond. I am going to throw a few words out there for you: barbecued chicken, baked beans, potato salad, oriental cole slaw, candy apple salad, grilled shrimp, pineapple casserole. Get the picture? If you were there you know it. If you weren’t there, then, you just missed it. Nuff said. Except for congratulations to my little sister, L-Beezy.

I just heard that Pat Patterson had signed with UK. My jury is still out on that cat. I watched him play three games this year and I wasn’t overly impressed. He played pretty well, but for his size playing against smaller teams, he just wasn’t that good. If he is that good, don’t fall in love with him. Plus, West Virginia guys don’t hang around Rupp Arena too long—each seems to have a different reason.

Killer, a.k.a., DK, a.k.a. David Kyle will be dancing across the commencement stage Friday night in Jackson. I’ll be there to give him a hearty handshake and an absurd congrats card, of course. I have to run for now. More later, hopefully.

What Happened and What I Learned

2007-04-27T16:47:00.000-04:00

I am going to try something new this post. I think it should have a good flow. It probably won’t be as substantial as something I would normally post. We will chalk it up to laziness. The format will be in a “What Happened” and “What I Learned” format. See if you can follow.

I had a cookout last Friday. I learned that pork tenderloins grilled up in barbecue sauce are as good or better than barbecue chicken. I also learned that I couldn’t duplicate Paul Griffith’s barbecue burgers if I had to. Cookouts without Unit 899 aren’t as much fun as cookouts with Unit 899, but Jason Will almost makes it that good. On his way over, Jason asked if anyone was playing cornhole. I told him no, but we would play when he got there. He said, “I can beat anyone there and if I can’t beat 'em, I’ll trash talk 'em ‘til I can!” He said it. Believe it. Also, I like it when people leave before 1 a.m. Beth does, too.

Saturday morning, Beth and I took Flat Stanley around Lexington to take pictures of him in cool locations for our niece, Emma. I learned the wind always blows when you wish it wouldn’t. Each picture we tried to take, ten minutes were wasted because we never could get Stanley to stand up due to the wind. So, most of the pictures ended up with one of us holding Flat Stanley. I also learned there are some really photo-esque places in Lexington. If you want to see some of them, I can take you on a walking tour of downtown sometime. I learned of a singer worse than Sanjaya, just kidding, that was singing the national anthem before Transy’s women’s college softball game last weekend. We were walking around Transy’s campus and heard something sounding like Wing off of Southpark. It really hurt.

I went to Wes Graham’s wedding on Saturday. I learned that going to weddings are really fun until you get married. For every wedding you attend after your own, you are inclined to compare and contrast the wedding your at with your own until you just want to leave. Either you say, “Man this is an awesome wedding.” Or you say, “This sucks, I’m out.” Our wedding was the gold standard in my books. I think (hope) everyone feels that way about his or her wedding. Also, I learned the wind never blows in Lexington when you wish it would. Wearing a suit in the sun is not cool (no pun intended).

Brandon Pigg and I went to Keeneland on Sunday afternoon. I learned that if it has recently rained, don’t walk through the barns to get to the track. There are mud holes everywhere. I also learned that if it has not rained recently; don’t walk through the barns to get to the track. It will be dry and very dusty. Your shoes will be covered in dust. Remember where horses poo? Yeah, horses poo on the ground. The poo dries up and breaks down to dust size particles. Then, it gets blown by the wind into your hair, on your clothes, and if you aren’t lucky in your mouth. Sick, huh? Yeah, I won some loot. Not a "We're-all- going-to-Malone's-and-I-am-buying-type winner. I just left with more scratch in my wallet than I came with.

I posted an entry on my blog today. I learned that if you are too lazy to make an entry or feel like it has been too long since your last post, you shouldn’t force it. Otherwise, you end up with something crappy like you have just read.

But JD, what about the Kentucky Derby? You haven’t given us any of your picks, yet.

I swear to Chuck Norris, do you have to sound so whiney? Hold your horses (Ha! Ha!) and I’ll let you know. This year I am going to change my strategy and go with a large exacta wheel. Exacta, you remember, betting the horses that finish first and second in order. Glad you remembered. This week my strategy looks like this:

$5 Exacta Wheel
Street Sense, Scat Daddy, Curlin
over
Street Sense, Scat Daddy, Any Given Saturday, Curlin, and Hard Spun
For a total of $60.

$10 Across on Curlin for a total of $30.

This will be for a grand total of $90. Not set in stone, hopefully, I will be able give you a more solidified pick next week once the post draw is finished. Plus, I still haven't figured out Circular Quay.

If you try to get up with me this weekend, I will be in West Virginia for Emma and Erin’s (Chris’s wife—Beth’s brother for those unfamiliar) birthdays. Catch you on the flip.

Playing Catch-Up

2007-04-13T15:47:00.000-04:00

For the dedicated readers, I apologize for not touching base with you sooner. I have been really busy over the past couple of weeks. So much has been going on and there have been items I have really wanted to get your feelings on. I’ll start off with our trip last Friday to Keeneland.

There were several people there with us, most of them from work. Beth and I had a really great time despite the snow. We set up camp in the second level sports bar so we could stay out of the snow. Snow? Yes, a white out hit the track around the seventh race. It was snowing so hard when we were walking back to the car that I had to put on my sunglasses just to keep the snow out of my eyes. What about the handicapping? I did pretty well considering. I went with $130 and left with $124. I bet 7 out of the 10 races on the card and, well…let’s just say the bartenders weren’t asking for my ID by the time I left. I hit a couple of tickets that paid $50 or better. Not a bad day all in all.

The 2003 Kentucky Derby winner, Funny Cide, was running in the feature race, The Transylvania Stakes. My better(or) instincts told me to leave the horse out of my trifecta. Really, the horse hasn’t done much outside of his four year old campaign. As I was in line to bet it, there were some people in front of me discussing the same predicament I had playing out in my head.

“He’s trash! He hasn’t done squat in two years!”
“He was the Derby winner.”
“That was four years ago!”
“True. But, I am going to bet him for old time’s sake.”

Dumbass. That’s what I felt like saying. But, call it nostalgia, beer talking, or stupid man walking, for “old time’s sake,” I threw Funny Cide in the bottom of my trifecta wheel. Burn central. I think Funny Cide is still trying to get to the finish line. If I had kept the other horse in my wheel that I kicked out to put in Funny Cide, I would have hit the trifecta. Thank goodness I backed my bet up with a $10 across the board ticket on the winner Marcavelly that rolled in at 7-2. Not a long-shot, but he wasn’t the favorite, either.

I spoke too soon about the Bluegrass Stakes turning into a great race this weekend. The race has practically fallen apart. My favorite to win the race, Hard Spun, and my favorite for the Derby, Any Given Saturday, have defected. Hard Spun will train up to the Derby and AGS ran last weekend and was embarrassed in the Wood Memorial by a Barclay Tagg horse, Nobiz Like Shobiz. I guess Street Sense will romp the Bluegrass field, unless there is one horse...Love Dubai is all I can say. What about Giacomo’s half brother Tiago winning the Santa Anita Derby? Please, no more Giacomo’s!

Billy Gillispie as UK’s head coach? I smelled a senses of desperation and haste in this decision. I think there could have been a better coach selected for one of the highest offices in the basketball land. I assume that the administration wanted a head coach in place by the national signing day to lure in potential recruits and Gillispie is what they selected. He is still unproven in my books--another Tubby Smith, if you will. However, it may have paid off with the one of Gillispie’s recruits that had signed with Texas A&M, a big man named DeAndre Jordan. Word abuzz here in Lex is that he has already worked out with some of UK’s players. Good luck Gillispie! I hope you do well with UK, just no post game celebrating with your driving record.

What about the one that might get away? Mr. Kentucky Basketball, Steffphon Pettigrew from E-Town, has expressed interest in UK and said he would sign if UK came to him with a scholarship. Pettigrew is a 6-5 forward who averaged 33.9 points and 13.3 rebounds a game for E-Town. Tubby Smith told him he could walk on at UK, but offered no scholarship. (Lofton…what?) Billy Gillispie said he wanted to recruit the state’s best players. Can you tell a difference already? Maybe, Pettigrew will see some Wildcat Blue after all.

What about this Don Imus situation? What was that guy thinking? I hope he will eventually learn to just shut up. I know he has to fell really bad bout what he said. I think his main problem came when he went on Al Sharpton’s show. It was definitely not a great calculated risk on his part. I would have apologized to the Rutgers’ women’s basketball team and left it at that. No. He felt the need to apologize to the world and try to voice his actions to the deaf and obstinate. Idiot. I hate to say this, but Ann Coulter nailed this one.

I hope you guys had a great Easter. Due to circumstances, we stayed around Lexington. Go watch 300. It won’t win any Oscars, but I guarantee you will be entertained. I am leaving you with a list. I think you will find it quite interesting. I have put together an “Island Pond’s All-Time Greatest Country Music Hits”. I know there may be a few that should have been included on this two-disc set that aren’t there. Let me know what they are and we will include them on the third volume. Holla.

Volume I
1. Lucky Man--Montgomery Gentry
2. Had Your Leaving Coming--Vern Gosdin
3. I'm Gonna Miss Her--Brad Paisley
4. Lord, I Hope This Day is Good--Don Williams
5. I Miss A Lot Of Trains--Tom T. Hall
6. Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain--Willie Nelson
7. I Never Go Around Mirrors--Keith Whitley
8. Wasted Days and Wasted Nights--Freddy Fender
9. What I'd Say--Earl Thomas Conley
10. I Tell It Like It Used To Be--T. Graham Brown
11. The Old, Old House--IIIrd Tyme Out
12. Country Bumpkin--Cal Smith
13. If Drinking Don't Kill Me--George Jones
14. Old Dogs, Children, and Watermelon Wine--Tom T. Hall
15. Pancho And Lefty--Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson

Volume II
1. Too Cold At Home--Mark Chesnutt
2. That's How I Got To Memphis--Tom T. Hall
3. I Can't Win For Losing You--Earl Thomas Conley
4. Sad Songs And Waltzes--Keith Whitley
5. Good Old Boys Like Me--Don Williams
6. Before the Next Teardrop Falls--Freddy Fender
7. Somewhere Between--Keith Whitley
8. I Wouldn't Want To Live If You Didn't Love Me--Don Williams
9. Just One More--George Jones
10. I'd Be Better Off In A Pinebox--Doug Stone
11. Dragging Shackles--Gary Stewart
12. Yesterday's Wine--Merle Haggard/George Jones
13. He Was a Friend of Mine--Willie Neslon
14. Drop Kick Me, Jesus--Bobby Bare
15. Songs About Rain--Gary Allen

Spring-A-Ding-A-Ling

2007-03-29T16:09:00.000-04:00

Boing-oing-oing! That is the sound of spring, so I am told. My grass is green today where it was not last week. The grass is growing at an exponential rate, which will probably result in me firing up the lawn mower this evening for the first time this year. I have already sharpened the blade, changed the oil, and installed a new sparkplug. I am ready. My allergies won’t be, but I am.

Keeneland. What? Who said that?

Yep, next Friday is opening day at Keeneland. We will be there along with a few friends from work. I am getting excited for the upcoming Kentucky Derby. The Derby-prep races have been exciting. The Tampa Bay Derby I had mentioned before was a doozey. My pick, Any Given Saturday, ran neck and neck from the top of the stretch to the wire with Street Sense. Street won by a nose, but really it was a head bob by either horse for the win. This sets up an awesome meeting between those two in the Bluegrass Stakes in a couple of weeks.

The Bluegrass Stakes will probably be a better race than the Derby with the concentration of talent being nominated to the field. Street Sense, Any Given Saturday, Nobiz Like Shobiz, Hard Spun, Great Hunter, Zanjero, and Ketchikan are all capable of having a stakes-winning day. If there were some heat coming to Lexington from the west coast, it would be one of the best Bluegrass Stakes ever. My pick right now for the Bluegrass Stakes is Hard Spun. I watched him blister an average field of wannabe Derby runners last weekend in the Lanes End at Turfway. He motored on the pace for the first 7/8ths of a mile then shifted into overdrive at the top of the stretch. Even better than his move to win was that it was done on the polytrack at Turfway. Polytrack to polytrack is a good move by his trainer, Larry Jones, if his only aim is the Bluegrass Stakes. I am not looking for much from him beyond that.

The Florida Derby is this weekend at Gulfstream Park. This is the same taboo race that Barbaro came out of to win the Kentucky Derby. This race doesn’t produce a lot of Derby winners. The horseplayers accept the postulate that five weeks is too long to lay off before the Derby and it would take an exceptional horse to complete the task. Anyway, there is a ton of talent in this race, as well. I am standing firm Scat Daddy scat-daddling across the finish line first in that race. Stormello will probably follow him across the wire along with my long-shot pick, Birdbirdistheword. Got to love that horseracing.

Enough of that, how are everyone’s brackets doing? My brackets were going south after Louisville and Wisconsin were defeated in the second round. When Tennessee and UNC got beat, I knew I was finished. I had them in my Final Four and UNC winning it all. Tennessee in the semi-finals was for Uncle David and his boy Lofton. Better luck next year.

So, who is going to be Kentucky’s next men’s basketball coach? My pick is Billy Hicks from Scott County High School. If we could get him to bring along Matt Walls and Bud Mackey, the deal would be all right with me. Just kidding…or am I? How about Mike Anderson, former head coach of the UAB team that upset UK in the NCAA tournament a couple of years ago? Do you remember how he had the UAB Dragons flying all over the court that game? The UAB fans dubbed his game “the fastest 40 minutes of basketball”. He learned this style of play from Nolan Richardson when he assisted under Richardson at Arkansas from 1985 to 2002. He was hired as head coach of Missouri last year and lead them to an 18-12 record his first year. This is what Orlando had to say about him last year after his hire.

TUBBY SMITH - Head Coach, University of Kentucky
"Mike Anderson is a shining star. He is the total package. A man of high integrity, class, confidence -- a winner! I have battled Mike Anderson teams over the years and I can tell you that his style of play will make the Big 12 coaches feel uneasy. I have so much respect for him and when the team, the University and the fans meet him - they will too. Congratulations to Missouri on a blockbuster hire!"

You know Tubby knows what he is talking about.

You guys let me know what’s up. I’ll be cutting grass in a few. Sneeze ya later!

I Can't Believe It

2007-03-22T15:51:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh! I can't believe that the Tubbster is gone. If you didn't know, Orlando Smith is on his way to the University of Minnesota for the head coaching position. I am literally in shock right now. My head may explode a la dude from The Running Man. It's almost like the people of California when they found out Arnie was their governor. I can't believe. People at work are reacting as if they just announced they caught Osama bin Laden. What do you think will happen next?

Go Salukis!

It's A Roller Coaster

2007-03-15T05:21:00.000-04:00

So much has been going on in the past few weeks. I almost don’t know where to begin the tale of my past couple weeks. I think I will hit you with some great news first. Knock that down with a little bit of crap. Bring it back up the hill with some more good news, a dash more of bad news, and then finish it off with a “What do you think?”

First of all, I am a new uncle. Beth’s brother Chris and his wife Erin had their new baby on the morning 28th of February. Paige Noelle(sp?), not to be confused with sister Paige “Sgt. Carter”, weighed 6 lbs. and 7 oz. The Saturday after she was born I finally got to see her. She is one of the sweetest looking babies I have seen in a while. As I looked down on her in the bassinette, she appeared to me like a doll in the sense that she looked perfect. Congratulations Chris and Erin on your little one. It’s a good thing her big sister Emma has experience at being a big sister. Hopefully, she can help you guys out. Plus, in six or seven years, you’ll have a babysitter other than Grandma and Pop.

On the first of March, Unit 899 was in the hospital for some surgery on what originally appeared to be an appendectomy, but ended up being a partial small intestines removal due to a Crohn’s Disease inflammation. This happened to be a real ordeal for me to handle. At first there wasn’t a great deal information being relayed the night of his surgery. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. There just wasn’t much information to pass on. Out of the hospital now, Joel’s recovery is still ongoing, but he sounds really well when I talk to him on the phone. If you wanted to pick a fight with Joel, now is your chance. I got a feeling, though. He still wouldn’t be the underdog! I hope we will see him this Friday night when Beth and I visit Mom and Dad at the LC Plantation. Maybe, we can get the Cats to win a game that matters and spare Tubby another year at the helm.

And speaking of UK basketball... (Don’t flinch. You knew this was coming.) Another 8 seed for the Cats for a second year in a row in the NCAA tournament is niiiiiice and not niiiiiice in a good way. I guess that is the State of the Big Blue Union these days. I have finally put my finger on the reason everyone is so down on the Tubbster. He placed himself on the pedestal with the NCAA Tourney win his first year of coaching. Then a downturn started when he lost 39 games over the next four seasons. Dissidence began to grow. After a great season in 2003, reaching the Elite 8 (defeated by Dwane Wade and Marquette), and signing the best recruiting class in the nation, pressure was starting to lift. But, with early departures from the NCAA Tournaments in 2004 and 2006 with a 13 loss season and already 11 losses this season, the trend is pretty evident. Someone in the tenth year of tenure at a…well, what used to be a perennial powerhouse, shouldn’t be having back-to-back seasons like this.

There are wars and rumors of war running rampant around the Bluegrass this week. With Charlotte Bobcats’ dismissal of the head coach, Bernie Bickerstaff, there is an opening for the position. If you recall, last summer there were rumors that Tubby would leave UK to take over that position in Charlotte. I am not sure what the circumstances were at that time. The word is Tubby is a real close friend to the majority owner, Robert L. Johnson, quite an admirable fellow with all his charity work. Also, Tubby is in good with the Basketball Operations Manager and “His Royal Airness,” Micheal Jordan. I even heard MJ’s kid wants to play for Tubby at UK next year. The career move is, no doubt, looking better and better. I am sure Tubby Smith will not be fired from his head coach position with Kentucky and he will leave on his own terms.

I am willing to bet anyone any amount of money the Wildcats will win tomorrow night. Any takers? Yeah, I knew it. You guys are so clever. You know Villanova’s mascot is the Wildcat, also. Man, I can’t get anything over on you. Seriously, Kentucky is my pick for this game. Biased decision? Definitely. Care? Not a dang bit. Go Blue!

On the saddest note of the past two weeks, there has been a death I must report. A dear friend of mine died a few days ago. Although we had only known each other since the end of December, we became really close. We had spent hour upon hour hanging out. A few of you had met my special friend who is no more. I know that you, too, had cherished the time spent with the departed. My Xbox 360 is no more. The flashing red lights came on around the power button appeared like a tear on Monday. Then, I shed my tears as a customer service rep from Microsoft said it had to be sent off to be re-instilled with life. The service rep’s thick Indian accent just held no comfort for me as I searched my feeling to see my friend gone. “Why?” I asked, over and over. There was no answer, only promises of free shipping and free repair. Sadly, I had to accept the fate my little Xbox 360 was dealt. Three weeks, including shipping and repairs? Too long, I went to Wal-Mart on Tuesday and bought a new one to play in the absence of my old one. Yep, some friend I am. MWUUHAHAHA!!!

All right, the “What would you do?” portion of the show is now commencing. After filling out the South Regional part of your NCAA bracket and realize you have placed Tennessee and Louisville in your regional championship, which team would you write in as going to the Final Four? Or would you throw your brackets away and start again? Tough questions. I am full of them.

My watch list for the Kentucky Derby starts this week with two dandies. Any Given Saturday, a Distorted Humor colt, is trained by Todd Pletcher. In his short career, AGS is 3 for 4 with wins in a maiden, an allowance, and the Sam F. Davis Stakes at Tampa Bay Downs. His only misfire was a second place finish last November in the Kentucky Jockey Club Stakes at Churchill Downs. This weekend he is back on the pledge at Tampa Bay Downs in the Tampa Bay Derby. He will be facing some stiff competition in the Breeder's Cup Juvenile winner Street Sense andKeeneland's Kentucky Futurity Cup winner Great Hunter, but my money is still on AGS. The other dandy is a filly (Whoa, you said filly? Yes, I did.) named Rags to Riches. She is out of A.P. Indy(cha-ching) and since breaking her maiden is undefeated and her last two wins were Grade 1's. Her last race, the mile and 1/16th Santa Anita Oaks, she won by five and 1/2 lengths under a hand ride. Also trained by Pletcher, Rags has already earned enough earnings to qualify her in the Kentucky Derby. Will she make it? Time will tell. Giddy-Up!

What Would You Do? And Don't Lie.

2007-02-23T15:25:00.000-05:00

Kentucky basketball is the topic once again for this post. I know. “Who would have guessed?” You. Now, don’t you feel smart? The direction I am steering this semi is toward recruitment or the lack thereof. What I am about to say may dissuade you from your original line of thinking. Maybe it won’t. It will give you an outlet on something I, sort of, figured out on my own in a discussion about this year's team. Hear me out.

If I could only count the number of times I have heard the following statement in the past two weeks: “We coulda had Lofton and Brewer!” This is referring, of course, to Tennessee’s Chris Lofton and Florida’s Corey Brewer. Both claim to have expressed interest in attending the University of Kentucky to play basketball. Both claim the athletic program and, more importantly, Tubby Smith were not interested in their efforts. Lofton also claims to be snubbed by the UofL program and Rick Pitino.

I honestly would say that these statements do contain various amounts of truth and fallacy. I have no doubt that both parties wished to attend UK to play basketball. Chris Lofton having lived in Kentucky for his entire life (assumption), like any other Kentucky boy, dreamed of wearing the Wildcat Blue on the floor at Rupp Arena. Corey, on the other hand, grew up in the Volunteer State. He knew of Kentucky’s hardwood legacy and eventual domination of UT in basketball. He probably thought UK would be an excellent program to fit into—one rich in heritage and consistent in performance.

Corey Brewer was a McDonald's All American. He was on Parade magazines all-American 4th team and an honorable mention from Slam magazine. He was a consensus top 30 in every major resource. Chris Lofton was McDonald's All-American nominee. He was voted as Mr. Kentucky Basketball after his senior year at Mason County. Set various school and state records his junior and senior years.

To say these programs/coaches were not interested cannot be farther from the truth. How could a coach at any level of the game not give some attention to each of these guys? Of course Tubby and Pitino were interested…they just couldn’t figure how each of these players would fit in their system. Tubby already had a boatload of guards. Patrick Sparks, Josh Carrier, Brandon Stockton, and Ravi Moss were already on his bench. He had a solid commitment from Saint Albans, W.Va. junior guard, Adam Williams, son of the legendary coach, Tex Williams (also the coach of a former Florida player, Brett Nelson). Tubby had recruited two guards, who were McDonald's All-Americans, in Rajon Rondo from Oak Hill Academy in Viginia, and Joe Crawford from Renaissance High School in Detroit. There was also the New York City recruit from the IMG Prep Academy in Florida, Ramel Bradley.

Tubby had seen Lofton play for at least three years. But what kind of competition was Lofton playing against? Bishop Brossart? Pendleton County? Bracken County? Rowan County? Lewis County? His size was questionable. His speed on defense was questionable. Lofton was a question all together. Brewer was on the national watch as a tall and lighting-quick guard. Excellent shooter. Nothing questionable to speak of unless…you already had signed three guards and had four waiting in the wings.

Rick Pitino had several guards in his camp as well. Taquan Dean, Ellis Myles, Brandon Jenkins, Larry O’Bannon were established. He had also the recruit committed that everyone wanted in Sebastian Telfair. Of course, we all know now that Telfair skipped out on Rick to go into the NBA draft.

So, does anyone see now, how these guys could have been passed over? I think, no…wait, I hope, Tubby Smith didn’t overlook the talent in either of the two players. Not knowing what you know now, can you honestly say that you possibly would have chosen different? I seriously doubt it. Other than the problem of Tubb not recruiting players from The Commonwealth, I honestly would say I would not. But, Tubby had been burned by Kentucky’s home grown before, i.e. Josh Carrier and Brandon Stockton, both of whom were the previous Mr. Kentucky Basketballs.

It is difficult to think that, yes, these players could have been Kentucky boys. Who knew about Lofton? As for Brewer, there were already two McDonald's All-Americans committed. What do you guys think? While I was watching the Tennessee-Alabama game Wednesday night on Lincoln Financial Sports, I was flipping back and forth to the Houston Rockets-Miami Heat game on ESPN. It made me think about David Kyle and his story about Uncle Dave and the "Lofton-esque" quotes all the time. My advice to DK is to tell his dad:

"Watch Tracy McGrady play for a game. No just a half. That is long enough to figure out...Chris Lofton is 'T-Mac-esque'."

Word-em-up.

Outside the Huddle

2007-02-16T16:39:00.000-05:00

Hey, folks! My friends over at "Outside the Huddle", a sports blog sponsored by ESPN Radio's Lexington affiliate, WLXG 1300 AM, have asked for my help in recruiting people to read their blog. It is not all that publicized but it does spark some serious conversation between a few of us. I think you would enjoy the postings and they are open to all comments, serious or humor-laden. So, if you have time to check it out, I am sure they would be quite appreciative.

Some of the comments made are discussed at times on air. You can listen to the show, with Chris Cross and Mike Cameron, every weekday afternoon from 4 p.m. to 6:30 or 7 p.m. These guys are pretty entertaining. Check them out.

Unable or Unwilling to Compete at a High Level of Intensity

2007-02-14T17:11:00.000-05:00

Most of my three loyal readers know that I am a huge Kentucky basketball fan. What I write seems to be typically redundant and usually revolves around the players not getting the job done. Well, this post will be no different. The past two games, Florida at home and Tennessee in Knoxville, of the team that I follow so enthusiastically, have been great on one hand and, to use the words of Simon Cowell, absolutely dreadful, on the other hand.

For the Florida game, UK displayed the best defense I have seen this season. The team held the undisputed #1 team in the nation to 64 points and lost only by three. They out-rebounded the Gators. They held the Noah/Horford duo to 15 points and forced 14 turnovers. On the other hand, the Cats’ shooting was awful. They had only one three-pointer in the game until the final couple of minutes. Even worse, the free throw shooting was horrendous. The SEC leading free throw shooter, Ramel Bradley, made 3 of 10. Bottom line…the Wildcats did not put together two good halves of basketball—something they haven’t done all year.

For the Tennessee game, UK’s first and last ten minutes of the game were some of the best minutes I have seen them play. The shooting was remarkable. UK shot 56% from the floor and made just shy of 80% of their free throws. Obviously, they out-shot the Vols and out-rebounded them 39-27. Something else UK had more than Tennessee was…drum roll please…turnovers. If you were to combine the turnover totals of two of UK’s best players, Bradley and Morris, you have already equaled the turnover total of Tennessee. That’s right, UK 19 to UT's 8 TO's. I know of two times in the final couple of minutes I saw Bradley, who lead the turnover charge for the Cats with 6, directly hand the ball to UT players. You can’t have your team’s core turning the ball over so blatantly at crunch time. That, my good friends, was not Tubby’s fault. What was his fault, however, was the ugly pinstriped, checkered shirt with blue tie he rocked to combat Bruce Pearl’s neon orange blazer.

UK was doomed from the get-go last night. First of all, Pearl kept commenting that Lofton wasn’t at 100%. He kept mentioning 80%. Is that so, Bruce? Is that why you played him over 30 minutes in the game? Cousin J. Will said Lofton wasn’t at 100%. Yes, over at Idle Hour Country Club, at this exact moment, he is eating his words.

Second of all, the referees were cooking up some of that hometown stuff. It was pretty obvious when the botched the no-call-goaltending in the first half. D. Crews for UT had reached over the cylinder of the rim to dunk the ball, a goaltending call by definition. The officials reviewed it and determined it wasn’t goaltending. I knew then it would be a long night for the Cats. There were several no-calls and bull-sh** foul calls. Yet, the Cats still hung in there giving us all false hope, in hindsight.

Lastly, UK cannot beat Bernard King. If you watched the game, I am sure you noticed that they were showing more Bernard King than the actual game. Every time the Vols would make a shot, get a big block, or do something replayable, the camera would flash to King to show his facial expression. UK beat UT when he was a freshman. King vowed to never let Kentucky beat him again. For five straight games during his playing career (early to mid-70's) in Knoxville, his team beat Kentucky. Last night made it six, huh? Here is a side note for you: Bernard King was there because they were retiring his jersey.

Brandon, Jason, and I watched most of the game at Buffalo Wild Wings. Adam, Laura’s boyfriend, was there with his roommate, so we got to chill with him for a bit. About midway through the second half, we walked over to Cocktails to finish watching the game in a “not-so-crowded” environment. It was not crowded, but there was some misguided soul at the bar dressed head to toe in nauseating, neon orange. He was cheering like the game was for the national championship. Jason really wanted to tell him that he should move back to Tennessee, the sooner the better, but he thought better of it in the end. I am sure Jason wasn’t the only one. Hell, I even wanted to tell him. I think the next time UK plays Tennessee, a bunch of us should drive to Knoxville and watch the game in a sports bar near campus, all decked out it blue. What do you think?

I hope you have made all of your Valentines’ arrangements by now. Beth and I have reservations for tonight at Sal’s Italian Chop House on Tate’s Creek. It should be pretty good. I am ready for a good meal. I feel like I have been starving since I left Joel’s on Sunday. I think I need some more of Alex’s sausage balls. Tasty. Holla at your boy!

Super Bowl Recap, Birthdays, and Such

2007-02-06T09:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, Jonathon, my guess of the score was pretty close. 29-17 is not that far off from 31-14. There was a bobbled snap on an extra point that Vinateri would have, no doubt, drilled. There was also a Bears drive that the Colts defense just laid down on that ended up in a field goal for Chi-Town. I enjoyed the game. I think it is great that Peyton Manning will no longer have the whole “Dan Marino is one of the best QB's ever, but he never won a Super Bowl” thing over his head. As far as who the MVP award should go to, I think Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai were equally impressive. But, in the end, you have to give the MVP to Manning for his on the field performance and leadership. I think the third quarter drive that lasted for nearly 8 minutes, orchestrated by Peyton, happened to be the real deal-breaker for Chicago. That drive totally demoralized and gassed the Bears defense. The interception return by Hayden for the touchdown was just the icing on the cake. Great game. It had the third highest viewer ratings in Super Bowl history.

What about that halftime show? Prince? I think he is 47 years old and has not been in the pop charts for quite a spell. I like his music, but great choice? No, not really. "Proud Mary" by Credence Clearwater Revival and Foo Fighters’ "The Best of You"? His original songs weren’t that bad, but his guitar work was very rusty. I guess you could blame it on the rain. Yeah, how about Milli Vanilli? They would rock the halftime show.

Super Bowl Commercials? They were pathetic. I thought I was just watching regular primetime television. I can’t believe companies were paying $2.6M for the 30 second spots. And King Pharmaceuticals paid for a couple of spots that didn’t even mention their product. I would fire my entire marketing division if I were paying for these commercials. The only commercial I thought was outlandish enough to be a Super Bowl commercial was the Snickers commercial with the two dudes kissing. Shock factor was at an all-time high.

We had a great time over the weekend celebrating birthday after birthday. Beth and I took off work on Friday for her birthday, so Thursday night it started with a dinner at Dudley’s on South Mill Street. I had intended to try another shot at the food critiquing after dining there, but I was so uninspired by the meal, I think I will let this one go. There is one note of interest, however. They were offering antelope on the menu. I had to turn it down as much as it intrigued me.

Friday, we ate lunch at The Pub-Lexington over by the Fayette Mall. It was not bad and maybe, just maybe, I have found my new favorite beer. It is Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale. Think Killian’s Irish Red with a smooth bourbon aftertaste. The food wasn’t bad either. I would definitely go back, but I just don’t know when. After schlepping it at the mall, carrying Beth’s bags for what seemed like days, we headed back to Da Pond for some Tiger Woods Golf on the XBox. Later on we went to Chili’s for some appetizers and a cold beer. Best chips and salsa in America.

On Saturday we rolled to the LC Plantation to visit Dad for his birthday. We watched the Loserville Cards take it from the Villanova Wildcats and Kentucky hand a road-dosing to Arkansas. Jodie Meeks took over that game in the second half. SEC Freshman of the Week two weeks in a row…I hope. Randolph Morris looked like a biznatch against Arkansas’ Hill—ponytail and all. After the game, Mom nailed a fried chicken dinner for us. If you weren’t there you definitely missed out. Back to Lex.

This weekend should be a time. On Saturday, Joel is having a birthday par-tay for Laura and himself in Leburn. Word on the street is Unit #899 has a barrel of Colorado Iced Lemonade on reserve. I hope I am able to make it down there. UK plays Florida at 9 p.m. on Saturday night. Joel, you get ESPN? If'n you do, maybe I’ll have to get on down there. Chase, Beth got your message and she said, “What, no effin' card?” Just kidding! She said thank you very much! I hope everyone stays warm this week. Looks like some snow is heading our way today. Better go buy some milk, bread, and eggs. Pond Doctor, out!

I Can Smell You, Friday. I Just Can't See You.

2007-01-25T16:24:00.000-05:00

"When I die let my ashes float down the Green River
Let my soul roll on up to the Rochester dam
I'll be halfway to Heaven with Paradise waitin'
Just five miles away from wherever I am.

And daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg County
Down by the Green River where Paradise lay
Well, I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking
Mister Peabody's coal train has hauled it away "

--“Paradise” by John Prine

This is an oldie, but a goodie. John Prine is coming to the Lexington Opera House on February 16th and 17th. Fast Eddie Hazlette, a scratch golfer hailing from Paintsville, introduced Prine to me when I was young and quite impressionable at Morehead. He asked me to go to the Lexington show with him and his wife, but I looked for tickets and the venue said that none were available. If you aren’t familiar with John Prine, he is a Grammy winning folk singer. I am not that familiar with all of his music, but what I have heard, I definitely like.

We have a Colts/Bears Super Bowl coming at us in a couple of weeks. I am glad the Colts made it, finally, with Peyton Manning’s leadership. Anybody can knock him all they want, but he proved his worth on Sunday leading his team back from a 21-6 deficit after the first half to win 38-34 over the Patriots. You can’t argue what happened. Man, he looked solid. You will hear it here first during this edition of Da Pond Biznass. Super Bowl XLI will go down 31-14. Colts win.

I don’t want to take anything from Tom Brady. He played a great game. He is one bad mofo on the field, a proven quaterback. But, like the Highlander said, “There can be only one.”

Of all the coaches in the NFL, I think I despise Bill Belichick the most. First of all, the guy is a slob. He comes to games, games broadcast nationwide, wearing big-necked sweatshirts and looking like he just rolled out of bed. Secondly, he doesn’t seem to think good sportsmanship is important in football. After New England beat the Chargers, his team mocked Ladainian Tomlinson’s touchdown dance on his field after the game, which almost started a really ugly incident when LT took real offense to this gesture. Belichick saw nothing wrong with the act. Lastly, after Sunday’s game while players were crossing the field to shake the opponents hands, Manning tried to shake hands with Belichick. The coach just ignored him as he stormed across the field. Classless. Period.

Enough of that. Beth and I discovered a new restaurant a couple of weeks ago that ranks easily in *The Lexington Top Five. The Jean Farris Winery and Bistro is located on Old Richmond Road about five miles from Jacobsen Park. The setting is modern, but lacking in atmosphere. The food and wine, however, makes up for the missing ambience. Under the advice of a friend from work, we selected the Tempest (a blend of Tempranillo, Cabernet Sauvignon and Cabernet Franc) for dinner. It was probably the best local wine I have sampled. The bouquet alone was intoxicating. The taste was enough to make me want to drink my dinner. But, the menu told me not to. Every thing looked fie fie delishe.

We selected the crab cakes for an appetizer. They were pan-fried crispy around the edges and filled with actual crabmeat—not much filler and probably the best crab cakes I had ever eaten. We shared a frisee salad after the appetizer. Not sure what this was when ordering, we were surprised by the arrangement of garden weeds and fried pieces of batter involved in this creation. With peaches flanking the greenery, the toasted walnut vinegar dressing painted the most exquisite picture on the palate. Nice.

Next, it was time for the entrees. I had a filet prepared medium rare served on a smashed new potato topped with a mushroom merlot reduction sauce. The ornamental green beans were the centurions commissioned as flare. The beef was melt in your mouth delectable. Beth selected the Sweet Chili Glazed Salmon with coconut sticky rice and baby bok choy. The salmon was a little overcooked, but Beth said she preferred it prepared that way. The rice was my favorite part of the dish--sweet, but not too sweet. I took the salmon a long way. The bok choy was eye candy, only. Does anyone really eat bok choy?

For dessert, we shared a bourbon and pecan bread pudding. It was a real treat. The bread pudding was swimming in what almost seemed like a shot of bourbon mixed with syrup. Yes, after that dish, I was finished. Jean Farris Winery and Bistro is a definite must. Do it.

That was my audition to be a food critic. What do you think? And be honest, dammit!

*The Lexington Top 5
1. Jonathan at Gratz Park
2. Rossi's
3. Portofino
4. Jean Farris Winery and Bistro
5. Malone's

Honorable Mentions: The Mansion at Griffin Gate, Annabelle's

After watching UK suffer defeat on Saturday to Vandy at home and the loss last night to Georgia on the road after leading 13 at halftime and by 17 at one point, I snapped. I honestly think this team may be throwing games on purpose. That would be the only explanation as to some of their losses. When Stevenson lost the ball on the fast break near the end of the first half, a “You freakin’ goober!” spilled out of my consciousness and materialized into audible tones right there in my living room. I can’t honestly tell you the last time a called someone a goober before last night. But, this was after Bradley passed Stevenson the ball at the free throw line and it went through his hands and drilled him in the face. Nice hands, feet.

You will get one last rant from me. Jodie Meeks, all you had to do was block out the free throw shooter. Really, just one step in the lane in front of Sundiata Gaines with your arms extended and maybe defeat wouldn’t have been so close at hand. No, you had to be an enabler because you really enabled the Bulldogs to win the game. Turd.

Beth and Pop’s birthdays are next week. You had better let them know that you know. Peace from Da Pond!

Buckeyed and Busted

2007-01-10T15:05:00.000-05:00

You have no idea how great I feel to be so wrong about something in all my life. At least 99.999% of the time, it physically pangs me to be wrong about something. I should be used to being wrong. I am wrong a lot. Yeah, I know it takes a big boy to admit it, but this time I will gladly say, “Yes, I am wrong!” And I will do this with enthusiasm. You see, what I am wrong about is a little college football bowl game that happened in a little town called Glendale, which is in a little state called Arizona.

There were two teams, one a little university from the state of Ohio and the other a little university from the state of Florida. Ah, crap…enough of the drama. I can’t hold it in anymore. FLORIDA kicked the shiz-nizzle out of OHIO STATE! And I was so wrong about it, but do I care? Not it the least. I just knew that the Buckeyes were going to stomp Florida. I was one of the biggest advocators for the OSU/Michigan rematch.

Aside explanation:
Yes, I was wrong about that one and that did make me mad. I didn’t think the Gators were half the team Michigan was. Imagine if Florida would have been beaten by Arkansas in the SEC Championship game. It was a close game to start with. Would Arkansas get a shot at Ohio State? The answer you are seeking is “Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.”

I was still convinced of the assured ass kicking even after the kickoff. Even when Florida marched down the field and scored, I thought OSU is still going to bring it. Then, it happened. I saw the person who I attest to as being the fastest man ever in college football, Ted Ginn Jr., was limping with a trainer back to the locker room. I told Brandon that this was not good. Ginn returned to the sideline about 20 minutes later with hopes of returning to the game, but by the end of the third quarter, he was on crutches. What did Ohio State have other than TG, Jr.? Don’t be so quick to say Antonio Pittman. Without TG, Jr., Florida’s speedy defense keyed on Pittman with vengeance. What about the other receivers? That didn’t matter as well. You remember the speedy defense of Florida? The pocket crumbled on Troy Smith time after time. He was sacked five times when he was only sacked 14 times all season. This team ended up with only 82 total yards of offense. I can’t go on any further. There is no excuse and no argument.

Homer: "We can eat for free because they think I am Krusty the Clown."
Marge: "I don't know, Homey..."
Homer: "Why don't you think it can work?"
Marge: "I didn't say it wouldn't work. I just think it's not a very honest thing to do."
Homer: "If we both agree, then why are we arguing?"

After the final touchdown in the first half, Brandon’s buddy Tony called this conversation ensued:

Brandon: “Yeah?”
Tony: “Three words for you.”
Brandon: “Okay?”
Tony: “Tim F’ing Tebow”

What else could you say? Tony said it all. Congratulations, Florida. We will see you in Commonwealth Stadium sometime this fall. And to you Ohio State, UK played Florida closer. Nya, Nya! THHHBBBBPPPPTT!

I hope everyone’s resolutions are going well. I read some good ones from Chase the other day. Mine are the same as usual. I am going to be a nicer and a more understanding person. I think everyone should add that to their New Year’s resolutions. And the whole diet thing. I am working on a diet right now, but it is not necessarily a diet for me to lose weight. My goal is to just eat better. I am sure there will be some weight loss involved and I am okay with that. I will try to keep you updated on how that is going.

Has anyone been watching UK basketball? Honestly, I think the Cats are playing far better now than at this point last year. I think it does not have as much to do with Tubby as the other factors involved. I think the factors are the team being more mature as a group and their mental aspect, the unheralded group of freshmen defining their roles with the team earlier in the season, and the force that is Randolph Morris. If you have watched Morris play in the last five or six games you could equate him to Dad Randall-El playing with us on the tough courts of Lost Creek circa 1994. Dominant is the word you are looking for. UK has a good chance of being undefeated through January. There will be a tough game at Georgia and an even tougher game with Tennessee (with Uncle David's boy, Lofton) at home to deal with, but I can see UK coming through it unscathed. Then, no doubt, will they securely be in the top 25. Go Cats!

Have any of you noticed a change in Lexington, lately? You can breathe. The final remnants of the holiday shopping season have dissipated. It is no longer too congested for a venture to the Hamburg areas for shopping or dining. Free at least. Free at least. Thank God, the Almighty, we are free at least until next December.

And speaking of trips to that area. Last Friday night, I ventured over to Harry’s with Beth for some victuals. Upon turning into the parking lot, some douche in a Chevy Avalanche was in the middle of the entrance. I thought I had enough room to get by him, but I didn’t. I rode the curb like a surfer hanging ten. I thought it had definitely burst my front passenger side tire. We looked at it when I parked. It scuffed my rim nicely and tore a gash out of the sidewall, but it had not burst.

Saturday morning, I called the store where I purchased my tires. They said there was one tire, the same brand (Kumhos baby!) and size, in Lexington at their South Broadway location and the price would be $129.99 plus tax. Ouch! Better to be safe than sorry (sorry for the cliché, that is). We went over there to drop it off, then, we walked to Logan’s for lunch. During lunch, the manager called and said it was finished. He went on to say that lucky for me I had purchased the Tire Protection Plan when I purchased the tires. With the TPP, the price for the tire, mounting, and old tire disposal was only $48.15. I said in the best Matthew McConaughey’s character’s voice from Dazed and Confused, “Well, alright!” Lesson learned. Always buy the tire protection plan.

Bonus points are going to the first person to tell me who the character was. There are extra bonus points if you throw in a quote of your favorite lines he said. Even more bonus points if you tell me who was another Hollywood big shot in the movie that gets painted up. Holla!

Updizzle Fo Da Pizzle

2006-12-19T14:23:00.000-05:00

(Update for the People)

For those who have been uninformed, Beth’s back surgery went fine and she is recovering nicely. For the next six weeks I have assumed the roll of Beth Attendant Number One. She is not allowed to bend, twist, or lift anything over 5 pounds per orders from the doc. I will be the medium for all her motor activities that are not approved. This seems to be all too convenient for the Christmas shopping season.

Sunday, I spent 5 ½ hours at Fayette Mall, and for those of you who know me, you know that is about 4 ½ hours too much. I had to be the pack mule for Mule Train Conductor Rhodes. We arrived at the mall a little after 9 a.m. and didn’t leave until 2:30 p.m. I had to make three trips back to the car to drop off bags during the spree. Thankfully, this covered about 90% of the Christmas shopping we had to do. It is a good thing that I will be off work on Thursday and Friday because there are a lot of presents to be wrapped.

Ellen Griswold: “What’s wrong, Honey? Clark, what is it?”

Clark W. Griswold: “It's a one year membership in the Jelly of the Month Club.”

Cousin Eddie: “Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”

UK beat UofL this weekend in hoops in a really ugly game. Not much hope in that ever being on the football field. Tubby said of the win, “Despite what Paigey Poo says, a win is a win.” And more importantly, JDeezy says it is a LOSS for Loserville. So Cards fans, how is your football school doing? It’s too bad you have given up on basketball. UofL’s nice recruiting class that was so highly touted over UK’s freshman class shot the lights out at Freedom Hall with an ever impressive 3 of 19 shooting. UK's relatively untouted freshmen class was 10 for 16. I read the nice apology by UofL’s AD Jurich. You can check that story out here. Tell me, “What was that guy thinking?”

Beth and I had been mulling over when we were going to purchase a new TV. We had picked one out for the downstairs and one for the upstairs in the game room. I read yesterday at work the smaller of the two TV’s we were going to buy was on sale at Circuit City. Sold. I rolled over there yesterday and picked up a 32” Olevia LCD-HD. It took me forever to reconfigure the entertainment center up stairs so I could hook up the TV. I had my XBox, Game Cube, DVD player, and cable box hooked up through a Terk Pi, 4-input, RF Modulator. The cable box and RF Modulator sat on top of the old TV. They wouldn’t be able to sit on the new flat screen, so they had to go up a shelf. If only I had known what I was getting myself into.

It took me almost two hours to get all the cords lined out. Once I actually went to set to the TV in the entertainment center, I realized it was going to be a very close fit. Try about a quarter of an inch on each side. I had to rub down the sides of the TV with Vaseline to get it to wedge in. Once I got it in, I fired it up. Money. I cranked up the XBox with a little Star Wars: Battlefront II. I would have bought a new TV sooner if I knew how much better it was going to look. Joel, I can only imagine how good the XBox 360 is going to look on the screen in HD. Get ready for some Gears of War!

This will be the last post of the ‘Pond News until after the New Year. Please, travel safely this week. I hope you all have the holidays for which you are hoping. And let us not forget the Reason. See you in ’07.

There and Back

2006-12-06T14:33:00.000-05:00

I made it back to The States alive, with no virus or flu-like symptoms. The cruise was good times, but it was not exactly as fun as what I experienced on my first cruise. I guess the first cruise sort of set the standard for the rest of all cruises. I am not saying that I did not enjoy myself. I think Beth has as couple of pictures of me that show I am enjoying myself, maybe, too much. The ship (Jewel of the Seas) was a relatively new boat, as it was built in 2004. The décor was not suitable for Disco Stu, so I was happy. It actually looked pretty swank. Casino, what?!?!?

We left Ft. Lauderdale on Sunday afternoon. Our first destination was Key West. The scene was tropic and the weather was excellent. We walked around the town for a couple of hours and shopped for souvenirs. After a couple of hours of this, we ended up at Sloppy Joe’s Bar on Duval. Duval Street is where it all goes down. I had a couple of Yeunglings and some crazy nachos that had Sloppy Joe stuff (a.k.a. Manwich) on it. I had to ask the bartender, who had been there for a couple of years, if the Real World Key West cast ever came in there. She said a couple of times, but the manager wouldn’t let the underage cast members drink so they didn’t stay long. I had to ask, sorry. The strange surprise on the island is the population of wild chickens that are everywhere. They walk down the sidewalk with you. They roost beside the fire hydrants. They hang out with the stray cats in the alleys. Chickens.

The next destination was Cozumel. Put Tiajuana on an island and there you go. Beth and I had been here before so we decided to just roll off the ship and eat a late lunch at Pancho’s Backyard. We had eaten at Pancho’s other restaurant on the other end of Cozumel and we really dug their queso con salsa verde (cheese and green salsa dip for the Non-Spanish speaking followers) and their not-from-a-mix margaritas. We figured it was worth another shot. The grub was good, but the margaritas (or I should say the lime flavored tequila shots) were harsh and too grande for me to drink two of them. However, I knocked down two fishbowls and a Tecate and a Sol. Hey, I was just trying to help out the local economy. This lead to an ill-advised purchase at a jewelry shop. For details, ask Beth.

***RANT ALERT***

If you have ever been to Mexico, I am sure you have encountered the pushy street vendors. I, personally, have decided not to return to Mexico due to the irritation these people provide. The country of Mexico has a great natural resource in the beauty of their land and their native traditions. Why does it have to be ruined by their attitudes and sales tactics towards tourists? Honestly, I would be more inclined to purchase products peddled by the vendors if they didn’t run at me, grab my arm, or yell at me. I am not sure who advised them on their sales procedure. Maybe, it was used car salesmen. Ba-Dum, Chhhh!

Costa Maya was the third destination. It was a Lee City-sized Cozumel with a pier. So, see above.

The last port of call was Georgetown, Grand Cayman. Beth and I had been here before. We walked around the town and shopped. The people there were really nice. A Margaritaville had recently opened. Joel, holla, if ya hear me! We had a couple of cheeseburgers in paradise and rolled back to the boat.

After a day at sea, we sailed back into Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday morning. We changed a couple of flights to get back to Lexington earlier. While in Atlanta waiting for our flight (delayed flight, of course), I ran into a old college buddy’s mother, who happened to be sharing our flight back to Lexington. It was none other than the mother of one-half of NWA:TNA’s The Franchised Naturals, Andy “The Wild Child” Douglas. It was really great to catch up with her. I probably hadn’t seen her since I was in school at Morehead. Small world, indeed.

I heard Ampletime was back on stage this past weekend at Avio in Lexington, I couldn’t find anyone to go with me, so I sat this one out. I’ll catch them next time, hopefully.

Florida or Michigan? Hasn’t that been the question for a week? I would say Michigan and you know I am not a Michigan homer. They played number one, OSU, to a three-point game at OSU two weeks ago. And that alone, tells me they are at least number two. If the game was played at a neutral site or even at Ann Arbor, who knows what would have happened? But, in reconsideration, what would happen if there would have been a rematch and Michigan won? Two number ones? What if Florida beats OSU and Michigan destroys USC in the Rose Bowl? I am not saying that it will happen nor will I predict the remote chances of it happening. But, what if?

Say It Ain't So, Joe!

2006-11-16T14:43:00.000-05:00

Jumping Joe Crawford has to be stopped. He is endangering the lives of married and co-habitating women across the state. In his efforts to shoot himself into and out of shooting slumps, he is causing domestic disputes--enabling the wife beaters, if you will, by enraging them due to his prolific Grade D shooting. He is a menace to the Commonwealth's society. Unit #899, arrest that jumpshot felon.

Brandon and I were at the game last night. He had bet his buddy Tony V. , a Miami of Ohio alumnus, the Cats would win with the spread of 13 1/2. With around two minutes left in the game and the Wildcats up by 7 with the ball, I told Brandon his bet was probably a bust because no one in their right mind would come down the floor and pull up without running some of the clock off. Wrong. One interior pass, one kick-out-to-the-perimeter, and 8 seconds later, Mr. Detroit was jacking one up, a clanger, no less. Off subject, but do you remember how the mind-shattering clang produced from a brick would echo through the old gym at Marie Roberts Elementary?

I just came up with a joke to go along with this theme. A Kentucky fan goes to see his doctor about his recent hair loss. The doctor asked him when he first noticed his hairloss. The Kentucky fan said it was a couple of weeks ago around the first of November. After a few questions concerning his lifestyle, the doctor leaves the room and then returns a couple of minutes later with a prescription. The Kentucky fan thanks the doctor and walks out of the office. Once he got in his car, he read the prescription.

"STOP WATCHING UK PLAY!!!"

Because watching Kentucky makes you pull your hair out. Hello? Is anyone out there? Is this microphone on? I know. It needs work. You can make it your own, if you wish. Just insert team of choice.

Another note of interest from the game last night. Brandon's aforementioned buddy, Tony V, went to the game with us last night to watch his undergrad alma mater play. He got to sit right behind the Red Hawks' bench. As the game goes to halftime, Tubby and the Wildcats are walking by the visitor's bench. Tony yells at Orlando and the following conversation ensues.

Tony V: "Hey, Tubby! You can't recruit!"
Orlando "Tubby" Smith: "What did you say?!?!"
Tony V: "You can't recruit!"
OTS (to Assistant Coach Reggie Hanson): "Get him out of here!"
OTS (to Head Assistant Coach David Hobbs): "He had better shut the hell up!"

Thankfully, or not, he didn't get thrown out of the game. So, he got to watch his team get beat or beat themselves the second half. He claims there was one pivotal play when Perry Stevenson pinned a ball on the backboard(one of his seven blocks in the game), which should have been called goal tending. Nice try, but no. Yes, I will confirm your suspicions, he is a Duke fan.

I hope you do realize Turkey Day is in T minus 6 days. And even better news, in T minus 9 days I will be on a boat in the middle of the Carribbean. Soaking up some rays and sipping on Yellow Birds. And feeling no pain....

See you Wednesday evening on the Creek.

Are You Kidding Me? Seriously?

2006-11-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

"Steppin' out, steppin' high. Step on back, check my stride.
I'm ready for anything come Saturday night.
Got my two-tones on, the dance floor's their home.
I'm just a honky cat honkin' on down to the honky tonk."

-"Flat, Natural Born, Good Timin' Man" Gary Stewart

I apologize for not being more diligent in the creation of new posts. There really just hasn’t been that much exciting stuff going on. That is not exactly true. I mowed my grass this past Monday afternoon for, really, what will be the last mow of the season. The grass is looking good. I need to get some winterizer on the turf sometime soon. Oh well, it will happen when it happens.

Halloween came and went with a whiz, splash, and a bang. The kids in my neighborhood are 67% turds. Only four kids the entire night said thank you without the prompting of their parents. Two punks, who were probably too old to be Trick-or-Treating, told me they were going to toilet paper people’s homes if they weren’t given the appropriate amount of candy.

Punk 1: “Do you have enough toilet paper?”
Me: “Yes, I have all I need. Thank you.”
Punk 2: “’Cause we’re gonna TP everybody’s house that don’t give us enough candy!”
Me: "You had better be able to run fast."
Punk2: “Oh, yeah. We can.”

I must have given them an ample amount of candy because despite my chagrin of a TP’d house, Housey was clear. I was worried I might have to do some running. The last thing I wanted to do was chase the derelicts around Danby Corners.

My buddy Glenn brought his family over to Trick-or-Treat in our neighborhood. While they were hoofing it around the block, Glenn and I chilled on my front porch drinking a few cold and frosties and handing out candy to the kids. Around 8 p.m., his wife and kids came back to the house. His wife asked if she could use the facilities, so I walked her inside and showed her where the downstairs bathroom was. As I was walking back out, I saw Glenn with his head down laughing. I asked him what was so funny. He just pointed over his shoulder. I saw his little boy with his back to us, facing the street, with his pants and drawers down to his ankles watering my front lawn. The garage lights, the front porch lights, and the street light were all on. The front yard was lit up like Christmas. Glenn said he hadn’t taught him about using the side of the house behind the pine tree, yet. Joel, you know where I’m talking about.

Beth missed all this action. She had some virus that had her out of commission for a couple of days. Poor girl. I don’t know if I have ever been that sick. It hurt me just listening to her. She’s about 90% now, so no worries.

BD’s Mongolian Barbecue in Hamburg is some crazy funky good stuff. You pick all your raw meat off the raw bar. Next, you select what vegetables you want stir fried with you meat. Lastly, you select the sauce you want in your stir-fry. You take this to a bar in front of a big, round grill. Guys with swords grill it for you. They will ask you if it is your first time there. If so, you must bang the gong. Not your first time? Well, bang the gong. Don’t want to bang the gong? Well, bang the gong. The bottom line is that like it or not, you will bang the gong or you will bang the gong. Go there.

Last night, I went to Outback to watch the UofL/WVU game. Never in my life have I ever been heckled watching a sporting event as what I did last night rooting for WVU. The waiters were even ripping on me. What was strange is that I had my mouth shut the entire time. I had said nothing to no one. I was minding my own and the onslaught started after Slaton’s second fumble. I was really confused as I looked around to make sure it was I they were addressing. Sure enough, I was their lone target. I was getting mad, not because WVU was losing, but the fact they were talking trash to me. I hadn’t talked trash to anyone. Brandon, the squirrel of a friend, said I needed thicker skin. Sam said, “No, dude, they are taunting you.” Still, I kept my mouth shut and just shook my head as the jackass continued to run his mouth. I bet he wasn’t even a UofL fan, just a dillhole. That is why I would rather just watch the game at home. But, it is okay. I remembered exactly what the putz looks like. Joel and Jess, we might have to roll up to Outback Saturday night, you in?

My co-worker told me that there have been multitudes of UofL fans coming out of the woodworks lately. Three words: BANDWAGON. It really is sad.

More sad than the bandwagon fans is Brandon’s buddy Tony, who bet the under on that game. The over/under was at 56 ½ . Two teams with the nation’s highest ranked offenses and mediocre to poor defenses play each other and you take the under? And what exactly do you know about sports?

Even sadder than that is the fact that if either one of these teams were to play OSU (and I hate OSU), they would be beaten…soundly. Defense. Defense. Defense. But, if UofL does play OSU in a BCS game, I wish them the best.

This weekend it is O-N. This weekend happens to be one of my most favorite weekends in the exciting world of thoroughbred racing. The Breeder’s Cup Championships are this Saturday at Churchill Downs. ESPN has devoted an entire day’s coverage (Noon to 7 p.m.) to the event. The best horses in the world will be competing in an 8-race package that horseplayers dream about. Horse Olympics-gotta love it. There should be some great prices that will come along with the results. Hopefully, I will have one of those magical white whales in my possession. Cash money. Bernardini, what? Household name, that’s what.

Joel, Alex, Jess, get on down. I await your arrival. Out.

Silver buddies! Silver Buddies!

The Sun is Gone, But I Have A Light

2006-10-20T16:03:00.000-04:00

Maybe, I have mowed my grass for the last time. It has been a week or so since I mowed my lawn and still, I can see my mowing lines. I am somewhat saddened by this because it means the end of my summer. My summer is the time period from the middle of April until the end of October where the weather is conducive to wearing shorts. In essence, you can also call this the grass-mowing season. The leaves are turning colors and are beginning to scatter themselves across my yard. Scattered nothing like the blanket of leaves that fell in front of Mom and Dad’s house every year. There are just enough leaves to slightly color my yard. Yes, you could rake them up and jump in them, but don’t expect any cushion.

This time of year renews an excitement in me that has been dormant for almost eight months now. The excitement I can feel growing each day as I read the sports page. Yep, you guessed it--University of Kentucky basketball. This is pretty much the lone reason I make it through the cold winter months without going insane, or clinically insane, I should say. The Cats do tend to get me off kilter from time to time, but that is just a figure of speech—part of the fun. Yeah…right. Another season brings another round of high hopes and aspirations for a group of guys who really didn’t realize what they have gotten themselves into by signing letters of intent to play for UK.

I have been found guilty and I will point my finger at each one of you and say that you too have been guilty of the infraction of placing unrealistic expectations on the Wildcats. I have been labeled as a Tubby Basher. It is true and I will not deny it. My aim is for atonement. This year I pledge, and this could be a New Year’s Resolution type thing, to not ask for anyone’s termination from any coaching position. Critiquing their decisions will not be on display by myself, but this will not mean that I will agree with their decisions. I admit they know more about the game than I do. Those in charge have been students of this game far longer than I have. One can arguably say that Kentucky has been competitive in the past three years. They have not achieved the ultimate goal in NCAA basketball year in and year out, but that would be unrealistic.

I plan to do something about my expectations. Not necessarily lower them, but I will redefine them as to what is rational and realistic. Let’s see what I can find acceptable by the conservative Wildcats fan.

I hope Tubby’s crew is at least competitive in each game they play. I don’t think it would be unheard of to be able to leave Rupp Arena halfway through the second half of an exhibition game because we were blowing a poor NAIA or NCAA Division II school out of the Bluegrass. Let’s not have any more games like the Georgetown College game last November where it wasn’t apparent we would win until three minutes left in the game. I hope the Cats are in peak physical condition when the regular season starts. This would be slightly uncommon for a Tubby Smith team, but I have faith that this past year has inspired something in the regime to try something different. This year I aspire for the Cats to either finish second in the SEC East Division and possibly finish runner-up in the SEC Tournament. To make it to the semi-final round of the SEC Tournament this year would not be a bad thing. I predict the SEC conference will the best conference in college basketball this season. I think it is not outlandish for UK to have at least twenty-two wins this season. I also think the Cats should make it past the second round of the NCAA Tournament come this March.

These are my hopes of this season to come. Some may say, “Jdeezy, don’t you think those goals are a little lax?”

Answer: “Given the track record of this basketball team’s administration combined with the University of Kentucky’s leadership as a whole, divided by the current trend of diluted talent in NCAA Division I basketball, I would say no.”

In the end, I will remind you that I pay to go to Kentucky’s basketball games. Therefore, I reserve the right to run my trap in a negative manner about any and all circumstance(s) that is or are surrounding the team. Let’s just see how long I can stick to my resolve.

I will leave you with a final statistic that was brought to my attention this week by a co-worker. Last season, Orlando “Tubby” Smith’s Wildcats earned the worst record in SEC play in 16 years. Sixteen years ago was Rick Pitino’s first year as head coach at UK(1989-90). That season the team went 14 and 14 overall. After that, Pitino never lost more than seven games in an entire season.

I bite my lip.

Go Baby Go!!!

2006-10-03T15:03:00.000-04:00

Rain could not stop the tailgating fun we constructed over on Hospital Drive Saturday afternoon. We found a prime spot beside the hospital’s parking garage. We got out of our vehicles, started unloading the food, the chairs, and my cooler and it began to rain. I had brought my Columbia rain gear to wear along with a heavy-duty poncho for Beth to wear. Brandon and Dawn neglected to bring their full rain gear, so Dawn took off on a mission. After an hour, several phone calls, and approximately eight text messages later, Dawn returned. She had in the back seat of the Jeep a tent fit for tailgating kings. It took us about ten minutes to figure out how to assemble it and, WHAMMY, dry we were.

Central Michigan fans somehow found their way 800 plus miles to Lexington to tailgate right beside us. What were the chances? They were cool, though. They were definitely students and their trek to watch this game in the rain was quite admirable. I helped them park their vehicle and chuckled to myself as they tried to light their grill in the rain. All this while we grubbed out on our KFC, dryly, under our tent. I will tell you, tailgating takes some skill, some preparation, and some determination. We had all of the above. The CMU kids beside us had one of the above.

Gametime.

The rain had finally stopped. UK finally started. The Cats jumped on the board hard and early. The problem started when UK gabbed a two-touchdown lead. Mike Archer calls for his infamous Prevent D to keep the CMU Chippewa’s in the game. Did he think we wanted to see a close game? Did he want to put more pressure on the Cat’s offense? Did he think that we, in this big town of LexVegas, wouldn’t be able to find more excitement elsewhere? Who knows? I do know this guy needs to be canned. Kentucky gave up over 400 passing yards alone to the CMU back-up quarterback. I will run this by you one more time. The second string QB of a MAC school put up 400 passing yards on UK. Yeah. Now, who’s with me? The win seems a little bittersweet now, huh?

I don’t think that South Carolina’s defense this coming Saturday will be so nice as to let us score at will. Another thing, if we think that the CMU offense was tough, how about a Steve Spurrier offense that put up over 40 points against the Cats last year? Archer, you had better be adding a few more stunts to your defense…and more often.

I will be in attendance at this Saturday’s game. I hope I won’t be disappointed. I hope Rich Brooks learned something from the CMU game. I hope it doesn’t rain. The rain thing is the worst of my worries.

The family reunion is this weekend. It should be a great time. Good food and the family, a winning combination.

OH SNAP!!!

Opening Day for the fall meet at Keeneland is this Friday. Guess who will be there, once again. It will be none other than the horseplayer extraordinaire, JDeezy, and the Rhodes. Holla if ya hear me. You might as well take the day off, too. Come on. We’ll grab us a good spot over by the finish line and rake in some cash. Heck, maybe Jonathan can line us up some box seat tickets from his aunt. What do you say, Jonathon?

To get ready for Friday, Beth and I stopped by Keeneland on Sunday for their Open House for the new polytrack surface. They were offering fifty-cent hot dogs and quarter cokes. How could anyone pass that up? The surface was really weird to walk on. It was similar to carpet that had too much padding underneath. I picked some of it up so I could feel it. It was greasy and had the consistency of sand with a few fibers running through it.

“Good afternoon racing fans and welcome to another exciting afternoon of racing at Keeneland. We have ten races slated for today’s race card, with three races on the Haggin Turf Course and seven on the new all-weather main track. The turf course will be rated as firm and the main course will be rated as fast. Remember to hold all tickets until each race is official. Good luck and have a great afternoon of racing today here at Keeneland.”

Who you like today?

Fautumn Rules!

2006-09-27T14:24:00.000-04:00

My favorite time of year is once again upon us. Fall, autumn, fautumn, schmautumm, whatever you call it, has to be the greatest time of year. The last days of sweltering heat are beyond us as well as the humidity. Finally, those long sleeved shirts, pullovers, and corduroys can be pulled out of the back of the closet. The college football season is in mid-stride and the NFL season is in the early stages of separating the weak from the weaker. Keeneland is only a few days away. With that brings the turning of leaves and the first frost. Grass will slowly become dormant and I will be able to make an attempt to straighten the garage a little better for an attempt to fit my car in the car hole along side of Beth’s car for the winter.

My hair is safe, but now, I am going to have to pay for a haircut. UK played extremely well for the first half of last Saturday’s game. The offense did a great job of keeping the defense off the field. Quarterback AndreWoodson looked pretty good and I tip my hat to Joker Phillips. His somewhat of a recreation of the UK offense seemed to work pretty well against Florida. There weren’t many desperate downfield bombs early in the game. Instead, there was a balanced attack of screens, five-and-outs, and runs that created slow progress and clock management. The defense played okay despite missing a few assignments. The blocked extra point attempt by backup quarterback Curtis Pulley was nice. This week UK has Central Michigan at home.

Beth and I bought tickets for this game. Brandon was excited to hear this so he’d get a chance to tailgate with some people who can tailgate, for once. Just kidding. I don’t tailgate any better than anyone else…maybe harder, but not better. I think, as of today, UK is a six-point favorite for Saturday’s game. It would be great for UK to get another win. I may have predicted a four-win season before, but maybe, UK has a six-win season in them. They must beat Vanderbilt at home and Mississippi State on the road. This is not too much to ask for.

If you guys need me on Saturday, I’ll probably be over in front of UK’s Agricultural Building at the corner of Limestone and Ag Drive. Come see us. I’m sure we will have something cold and in a beer can for you. Finally and confidently, Go Cats!

P.S. For all of my siblings traveling this week, go careful and pack clean drawers. Who Dey!

An Unusual Thing To Do

2006-09-21T16:01:00.000-04:00

HOMER SIMSPON: “Mr. Burns, you’re the richest man I know.”

MR. BURNS: “Ah yes, but I’d trade it all for a little bit more.”

You tell me of any sitcom on television that still is producing material as funny or funnier than the material they first started with.

A little update for you on what might be happening. The other day I was driving home, a usual thing for me to do on Tuesday afternoon around 5:00 p.m. I was listening to The Sports Huddle on WLXG 1300 AM and, once again, not an unusual thing for me to do. I decided to call in to the show and talk to Chris Cross and Mike Cameron, this not the first time to call. My calls to the show are infrequent. They were discussing what they would do if UK beat Florida this week. Cross said he would shave his head. Mike Cameron will probably wear a UK cheerleading outfit for the next UK home game.

As I was announced on the show, Cross asked me what I would do if the Cats win at Florida. I said I would shave my head with him Monday afternoon at The Grapevine if the Cats win.

Go Gators.

Ken Towery's, Sugar Camp... and a UK Win?

2006-09-19T16:34:00.000-04:00

I went on Wednesday of last week to get my tires rotated at the same shop I had purchased them—free rotation, holla! Well, whenever these fine individuals put the wheels back on my ride, they cross-threaded one of the lugs on its stud. On Wednesday, when they were taking the wheel off to do the rotation, they couldn’t get the lug off and the stud finally broke. I happened to be watching when this occurred. I knew exactly what had happened. This was the exchange between the grease monkey and his supervisor:

Supervisor: “What’d ya do, break da stud?!?”
GM: “Whoever put these wheels on last cross-threaded the lug!"
Super: “It was us you idiot!"

They did not have the stud on hand to fix it. Another one of the grease monkeys said they had the part at Paul Miller Mazda just down the road. They said to come back on Saturday and they would fix it. I left there hellar pissed, because this had happened there before. Not their fault that time, but it was this time. So, I talked my buddy Douglas Fresh into following me over their Saturday morning to pick me up and we would go eat breakfast somewhere while they worked on it. Five minutes after we had sat down in Perkins, my phone rang. It was the store manager telling me they didn’t have the right stud from Mazda there to fix my car and they would have to order the part. PISSED. AGAIN. So, I guess I will see them this Saturday.

Dang! Can you believe UK won this week? Nice win. But, they are just playing with my emotions, I feel. They play Florida at the Swamp this weekend. Just put 24 points on the board and I’ll be happy.

Yeah, Joel, I made your ribs this weekend. They weren’t too shabby. I have problems with my grill, though. When I have my hickory chips smoke packet on the burner and my ribs on the top level overtop the smoke packet, the fat drips off the ribs onto the smoke packet and starts a fire. The flames tend to overcook the underside of the ribs producing a tougher underside of the meat. Due to this and the urging from Jonathan, I think sometime this fall I will buy a smoker. I have seen a few nice ones over at Lowe’s. Just think, beer can chickens, smoked pork loins, London broils, and ribs. Oh yeah, good as done.

I dropped the ribs on the grizzle to cook for my in-laws on Saturday. They came down so Dennis could drop Jo-Anne off so she and Beth could fly to Minneapolis. They made it to Minneapolis okay and are due back tomorrow afternoon. The Mall of America was their destination. Yeah, I don’t get it either. But, from updates, it appears they are having a great time and that’s what matters.

Dennis and I went to eat breakfast at Bob Evans. It was good just like it used to be. Me and my Freedom Toast (you like that…just like Freedom fries?). Dennis left around 10 a.m. to go back to W.Va. So, I got cleaned up and rolled to Jackson to play golf with Dad, a.k.a. Randall-El, at Sugar Camp. We had a really good time. We played a couple of scrambles with the natives. We even got in a $5 game of hold ‘em between the rounds. That David Kyle always calls anything I ever bet when we play a $5 game, maybe to show his dominance or poker prowess, win or lose. But, everytime I go all in, he always pancakes me. The hold ‘em spirits are against me I guess. That’s okay. I always crush him when we play “A Day At The Track Mode” on Road To The Breeder’s Cup on XBOX. Give me a shout. I’m out.

Ripley's Bearlieve It... or Not

2006-09-12T15:26:00.000-04:00

"Memories and drinks don't mix to well
Jukebox records don’t play those wedding bells
Looking at the world through the bottom of a glass
All I see is a man who's fading fast.

Tonight I'll need that woman again
What I'd give for my baby to just walk in
To sit down beside me and say it's all right
And take me home and make sweet love to me tonight.

But here I am again mixing misery and gin
Sittin' with all my friends and talking to myself
I look like I'm having a good time
But any fool can tell that this honky-tonk heaven
Really makes you feel like hell."
-"Misery and Gin", Merle Haggard

Now this is a song and a half. Many times I have let this song repeat in the garage. Honky tonk and outlaw. I guess this is some more of that old country music, the real country music that I prefer. It almost seems like a good rule of thumb with the country music I like, “If they have been to prison, then it probably is pretty good music.” There was a story going around that years after Haggard was released from prison he told Johnny Cash he really enjoyed his show in San Quentin Prison. Cash replied, “I don’t recall you being in that show.” Merle said, “Johnny, I wasn’t in the show. I was in the audience.”

The Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg trip was a whirlwind. Beth and I had a great time with the majority of the family minus one Unit 899. The cabin we stayed in was pretty nice. Not really meant for 10-12 adults as advertised, but we made due. The golf at Newport was disappointing, they had just aerated their greens, but I would say we had a pretty good time and Adam will confirm that the trees were more than generous to us. Also, there was a 1950’s cruise called Shades of the Past Rod Run going on, but that didn’t stop people from bringing out their 1960’s Camaros or Hemi Cudas.

We took a trip to the top of Clingmans Dome, TN. It is the highest point in elevation in the Volunteer State, rising 6,643 feet above sea level. Actually there is a road that takes you to a couple hundred feet below summit and there is a ½ mile to ¾ mile blacktop trail to the top of the dome. The view wasn’t much because of the clouds approaching the mountain. Bummer. Strange to me was the drop in temperature from our cabin to the top of the mountain. It was around 70° F at the cabin and according to Beth’s car; it was 56° F at the top. Insane, huh? Chase blamed it on the bears.

The motorcyclists in the area were quite amusing. As we followed them through the tunnels along the mountainside, they would rev their engines so their exhaust would sound louder. More annoying, I would say. They fit all the stereotypes of the Harley riders. Beardy, ragged looking and smelly. What is it about black leather jackets/leather vests/t-shirts with eagles/skulls/confederate flags on them? Yeah, me neither.

The traffic leaving Pigeon Forge was ridiculous. There are 3 lanes for incoming traffic and one lane for out going traffic. This really makes me think on the way home, “I would really love to come here and do this again.” Uh, huh. Beth and I went nine miles in an hour. Suck.

Let me bottom-line it here for you. I really had a great time and wished we had a couple of more days to stay down there. Not for the sights or entertainment, I really enjoyed spending the quality time hanging out with the family at the cabin. I know they couldn’t beat me in pool, but it was okay. The birthday cake was pretty much the best birthday cake I had ever eaten. I could only imagine what it would have tasted like if I could have eaten it the day it was made.

Lastly, I would like to thank the bears for building the metropolis of Pigatlinforginburg that hosted the Abners this past weekend. Without the bear’s hard work and engineering, this great area would not be the mullet mecca it is today. Out.

Raised Some "L", Came Home Beat Blue

2006-09-06T16:27:00.000-04:00

Brandon Pigg and I had the fortune and misfortune of going to Louisville to watch the UK/UofL football game at Cardinal Stadium Sunday night. I had a really great time hanging with Paige, David, and Paige’s in-laws. The tailgating was nothing less than spectacular. David’s sister-in-law, Debbie, a closet UK fan, had made a bunch of great food for us. We even broke out David’s mini grill and smoked up some burgers and brats. And when I say smoked, ask Paige if you don’t know what I mean.

We played some cornhole. We wandered around Papa John’s Stadium looking for bathrooms. Shoot! We even saw what Brandon would call, “Beeches (said with disgust)”. Despite the fact Brandon and I were decked out with our true blue, we were welcome by our Louisville counterparts. Not that some didn’t try to take slight jabs at us, like James, a.k.a. the busiest man in the ‘Ville. But, if you roll over on your back and play dead, they will leave you alone.

Unnamed Cards fan: “Do you ever get embarrassed to be a UK football fan?”

Me: “Nah, we don’t have high expectations here. Besides, the Cards have more to lose in this game.”

And I leave it at that. Several UofL fans actually wished us good luck before and during the game. No one really got lippy with us. It was an all around good time.

The misfortunate part of the event was the actual game itself. UK really was disappointing to watch. The Cats have one of the best receivers in the SEC, Keenan Burton, but it didn’t seem like there were many offensive sets that went his way. This guy was in single coverage almost all night. The corner covering him was four inches shorter than Burton. I think he had the ball thrown to him six times. He caught four receptions for 127 yards. Give the man the ball.

The defense was nothing less than what I had expected. Mike Archer, being the most ineffective defensive coordinator since himself, proved himself incapable by starting and finishing the game with a prevent defense that rushed no more than four players at any time. You are down four touchdowns. Obviously, what you are doing is not working. Change something. Put pressure on Brohm. Dee dee dee (Carlos Mencia style).

I thought it was awful that Michael Bush had to end what could have been his Heisman winning season. I felt sick to my stomach when he broke his leg, but then again, it could have been the charcoal.

I am going to Gatlinburg this weekend. We will see most of you cats there. For those of you not making the trip, take it easy and make it cheesy! Out.

A Day That Will Go Down in Infamy

2006-08-31T14:21:00.000-04:00

It's my birthday, foos! Holla!

...And Down the Stretch He Comes!

2006-08-28T16:09:00.001-04:00

I told you earlier and it has rang true. Bernardini gets my vote for horse of the year and the three-year old champion after Saturday’s romp in the Grade I Travers Stakes. His impressive 7 and ½ length victory has set it up like concrete for me. After setting the time at every fraction, Bernardini pulled away down the stretch with the kick of a closer, much like he has done in the three year old standings. This sets him up for a showdown with Lava Man, the best in the West.

Lava Man’s last win in the Pacific Classic proved he was the best out of the Sunshine State. The fabled match-up, with what will be one for the record books, has the excipients of legend. You have the older, proven horse in Lava Man and the untested, youngster Bernardini wishing to seal his fate as the horse of the year. This is something that I would not want to miss. It almost seems like a modern day Seabiscuit sequel. And I can’t wait.

Tiger did it again. He won the Bridgestone Invitational on the final day after four play-off holes with Stewart Cink. Four tournaments, four wins. On Mike and Mike in the Morning, Greenie and Golic brought up some nice Tiger-stats. Tiger has played in 198 tournaments since turning pro. He has won 52 tournaments since turning pro. The rest of the top five golfers in the world, Phil Mickelson, Jim Furyk, Vijay Singh, and Retief Goosen, have 52 total wins. Tiger has won half as much money as those four players combined. Nice.

And speaking of golf, I played yesterday with Dad, David, D. Kyle, Ance and Jimmy Lee over at Southwind in Winchester. Ance was my playing partner and for as much crap as I give Ance about his conversational stylings, it was quite a pleasant round. Sorry Ance. I had to give a dose in one aspect, though. I out-drove him with his own driver. He kept asking me to try it out, so I did. Three hundred and seventy yards later (ask Ance if you don’t believe me), we both concluded two things. One, the drive was the longest drive I had ever hit, and two; the smack was the longest drive we had ever seen in person. The result on the hole was disappointing, I three putted for a bogey. Good times, nonetheless.

On a sadder note, one of my good friends from college was on Comair Flight 5191 when it crashed Sunday morning at Lexington Bluegrass Airport. Erik “Frank” Harris was a great guy and always had a smile on his face. Even if you had just seen him an hour before, he was just as happy to talk to you the next time he would see you. His family and friends will surely, miss him. I would like to ask a favor of you, if you would, to please say a prayer for his loved ones. This one is for you, Frank!

On the lighter side, Happy Birthday, Alex Thomas! I hope you have as great a birthday as the law will allow in Knott County!!!

Hold That Tiger!

2006-08-21T14:22:00.000-04:00

Now, that I have effectively brought to surface your inner feelings about Wal-Mart and its business model/ethics/misappropriations, I would like to have your input on your thoughts concerning the enigma that is Tiger Woods.

Eldrick T., as I affectionately call him, has his hands, once again, firmly of the reigns of domination in the world of professional golf. Many discounted the Era of Tiger after his failure to make the cut in the U.S. Open. Many said that now was the time of Phil Mickelson. But, Hefty Lefty (not to confused with Jared Lorenzen) has since proved his masterful craft of choking which leaves Tiger no choice but to accept the number one spot.

Tiger is still cramming the long ball along with a few other newcomers such as J.B. Holmes (U.K. alumni) and Bubba Watson. This is bringing on a whole new evolution to the game in playing style and courses. With all the new golf technology recently introduced (lighter, longer clubs and new ball compositions), players are ripping the covers off the ball just to get closer to the green. Usually with longer drives comes an increase in errant shots. These players are gouging out of the rough to reach the green, hence the name Bomb and Gouge golf. I have always played that way, but not by choice, merely circumstance. That and I roll like Uncle Ance.

"I don't pay for golf just to lay up."

The reaction of the PGA and golf course designers around the world is to increase the total yardage of courses to keep the scoring down and retain more players in contention. Even older, established courses are lengthening their holes to make it tougher on these guys. Is this the proper way to go? What about us amateurs? I wouldn’t have a chance on courses like these. I will confess that I don’t have a habit of playing championship courses, but in the event I ever do get that habit, I would like a chance and not have my aspirations torn to pieces by shotty play. What is the solution?

Enough golf talk, let’s get some updates in on the fun. This past weekend, Beth and I went to Louisville for a weekend with the Pedens. We took in some state fair action. We saw all kinds of neat displays. My particular favorite was the antiques and memorabilia. I saw the largest rabbit I had ever seen in the livestock area. It would make Chloe look like a kitten (and you know how big Chloe is). As for the state fare, I had a corndog, a ribeye sandwich, and a funnel cake. No, I didn’t eat all that at once. We were there from 10:30 a.m. until 4:00 p.m.

After a brief rest at Paige and David’s, we went to Fourth Street Live for dinner. This was a very interesting place, which appeared to cater to the younger and more single crowd. It wasn’t necessarily my cup of tea, mostly because it wasn’t like my garage. We ate at the Red Star Tavern. I think I was the only one who enjoyed the food, but the service was horrid. We were there for close to two hours and I had one Bud Light when I sat down. About ten minutes later, I ordered a gin tonic. Forty-five minutes later, the gin tonic was served and five minutes later the food was served. Nice.

Sunday morning we went to Lynn’s Paradise Café for breakfast. I heard about this place while watching Throwdown with Bobby Flay on the food network. Fortunately, what I saw on TV was still on the menu. I really enjoyed it while the others did not. Figures.

I missed a few bets on Sunday for the Longacres Mile at Emerald Downs and the Pacific Million at Del Mar. No biggie, though. I am ready to nail them this weekend for the King's Bishop and Travers Stakes at Saratoga. The Bernardini express will be coming through! All aboard!!!

Paige and David, we had a great time hanging out with you this weekend and I am looking forward to our Gatlinburg trip. Later on.

P.S. I was intentionally trying to get you to discuss Wal-Mart when I wrote about country music. Just like sheep. Ha!

*No, I didn't get the idea to post about Tiger because the guy on The Sports Huddle did. Mine was out before his. JDA 8-22-06

You Can't Handle the Truth

2006-08-11T14:16:00.000-04:00

“I don't know why I keep on believin’ you need me,
When you prove so many times that it ain't true,
And I can't find one good reason for staying,
Maybe by leaving would be the best for you,

But these rose colored glasses, that I'm looking through,
Show only the beauty, cause they hide all the truth,

And they let me hold on to the good times, the good lines,
The ones I used to hear when I held you,
And they keep me from feeling so cheated, defeated,
When reflections in your eyes show me a fool.

These rose colored glasses, that I'm looking through,
Show only the beauty, cause they hide all the truth,

So I just keep on hopin’, believin’ that maybe,
By countin’ the many times I've tried,
You'll believe me when I say I love you and
I'll lay these rose colored glasses aside,

These rose colored glasses, that I'm looking through,
Show only the beauty, cause they hide all the truth.”
-“Rose Colored Glasses” by John Conlee

I had to reference the entire song because today is Mr. John Conlee’s 60th birthday. This is, hands down, my favorite country music song to date. There could be a future song written that could top this one, but the direction of country music (if that’s what you want to call it) currently pretty much shoots that down.

Sad to say, the newest country music album I own is a Trace Adkins greatest hits album. And I am not saying that is sad on my part. I am saying, without flinching, it is sad on the part of the country musicians laying down tracks today. Sure, Montgomery Gentry has some entertaining hits that I really dig, but really, it’s just not country. This is where I will give a little history.

The forefather of the “That Ain’t Country” movement was a fellow by the name of Charley Rich. He had a few great songs like “When We Get Behind Closed Doors” and “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World”. During the 1975 Country Music Awards, Charley was announcing the winner of the Male Entertainer of the Year. As he read the envelope announcing John Denver as the winner, he casually flipped open his lighter and burned the envelope right there on stage. This all appeared to be a stab at the Music Row-controlled Nashville Sound.

A perpetuator of the movement in more current years (and one of my favorite musicians) is Larry Cordle (writer of “Highway 40 Blues” performed by Ricky Skaggs and “Lonesome Standard Time” by Kathy Mattea). Larry, a Paintsville, Kentucky native, penned a now famous tune sang by the likes of Alan Jackson and later recorded by himself on the album titled the same, “Murder on Music Row”. Here is a sample of his distaste for today's country music:

“Nobody saw him running from Sixteenth Avenue
They never found a fingerprint or the weapon that was used.
Someone killed country music.
Cut out its heart and soul.
They got away with murder down on Music Row.

The almighty dollar and the lust for worldwide fame
Slowly killed tradition and for that someone should hang.
They all say “Not Guilty”,
But the evidence will show
That murder was committed down on Music Row.

For the steel guitars no longer cry
And you can’t hear fiddles play,
With drums and rock-n-roll guitars
Are mixed right up in your face.
Well, Ol’ Hank wouldn’t have a chance
On today’s radio.
They’ve committed murder down on music row.”

This is probably the main reason that I am a huge fan of Larry Cordle. He is quite the traditionalist. I feel we see eye to eye. He was an accounting classmate of my father’s at Morehead State. Dad told me one time Larry showed up for an early Monday morning class looking like warmed over hell. Larry said to Dad, “Randall, this music is gonna kill me!”
That’s how I feel about the subject.

This past weekend was a heck of a time. We had some fun in Lexington for sure. I slayed some ribs on the grill this weekend. They were nothing less than funktastic. We even got in a few games of cornhole. Alex, you’re one of the best cornholers I’ve seen. Joel, you’re the worst female cornholer I’ve seen. Yeah, take it, 899. We were 2301!!!
Got to go.

This Picture Speaks for Itself

2006-08-02T15:17:00.000-04:00

If ever there was a horse that was “Da Man”, I am pretty sure it would be Bernardini. For those of you not familiar with the name, I will drop some knowledge for you. Bernardini was the horse that ran away with the Preakness Stakes after the mighty Barbaro pulled up and suffered the career ending injury to his right hind leg. Several people, mostly people who aren’t regular horseplayers, said Bernardini would have been a nice second place horse to Barbaro in the Preakness if his disaster had been averted. I say neigh, neigh.

Bernardini, the Thomas Albertrani-trained colt out of A.P. Indy and Cara Rafaela, stormed away this past weekend at Saratoga with another 9-length strike on the field in the $500,000 Jim Dandy Stakes. A horseplayer would ask me, “Don’t you think it is a bit early to be calling Bernardini ‘Da Man’? This is only his fifth race and none against older horses.” Nope and I’ll tell you why. During previous races, Bernardini preferred to stalk the pace, usually suspending himself on the rail near fourth or fifth position. He (and when I say “he”, I am referring to horse and jock as one) would wait until the three-eigths pole and make his move. During the Jim Dandy, Bernardini held the lead at the first turn and never relinquished it the entire race.

Another question ensues. “Horses do that all the time. What makes this special coming from Bernardini?” Tell me what you think about this fact? (Answering a question with a question, that has to tick off this guy asking the questions, huh?) Javier Castellano never raised the whip to his ride the entire race. There was no urgency in Javier’s ride the entire home stretch and, as a matter of fact, I am pretty sure he let Bernardini coast in his final eighth for the 9-length win. That is why Bernardini is “Da Man”.

My time served in state traffic school was the easiest stretch I have had to pull so far. The previous stints I spent in this class consisted of me staring at the clock and wishing to be elsewhere. Why should I have cared? I didn’t pay for my car insurance at that time. It was just one speeding ticket I got because a police officer got lucky. I could get a few more and still not lose my license. No, this time, I must say, was quite different. To start off, I can honestly say that I was quite embarrassed for having to be there in the first place. In high school, it was almost a cool rite-of-passage as a teenager to attend traffic school. You would discuss it with your buddies like you were the reason Rebel Without a Cause was written. No, I was really disappointed in myself.

My instructor was State Police Captain Tim Lucas. He is the supervising officer over the Kentucky State Police Academy. Since recently attending the graduation ceremony of the State Police Academy, I was well aware of who he was. After mentioning Joel was my brother, Captain Lucas immediately paid extra attention to myself. He also asked me to speak with him during the break so he could catch up with how Joel was doing at Post 13. “Great,” I thought to myself. As the class started, my instructor seemed to have an intense knowledge of the facts and arguments he presented to us. This made the ordeal seem more interesting.

I found myself paying a great deal of attention and barely even noticing the clock. Each time the class was called for a break, I looked forward to the short conversations with Captain Lucas about my brother. Before I knew it, the time had already reached that golden moment when it was time to adjourn. As I was leaving, I thanked Captain Lucas for the pleasure to make his acquaintance and how I wished it had come under a far better circumstance. He laughed. I was a free man, fully atoned for my highway sins. And felt better for doing so.

Well, this weekend should be pretty interesting. Joel and Alex, I am looking forward to your visit this weekend. I am sure we will have a great time in the flood zone that is called Island Pond.

"Son, You Have No Business Traveling That Fast"

2006-07-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

"When the wind blows and the rain feels cold
With a head full of snow,
With a head full of snow.
In the window there's a face you know.
Don't the nights pass slow.
Don't the nights pass slow."

“The sound of strangers sending nothing to my mind,
Just another mad, mad day on the road.
I am just living to be lying by your side,
But I'm just about a moonlight mile on down the road”

-“Moonlight Mile” Sticky Fingers album, written by M. Jagger and K. Richards

For those of you who don’t know, that would be the Rolling Stones. This probably is my favorite song they recorded. I first heard it during the opening credits of the Sopranos’ episode “Cold Stones” of season six. Carlo Gervasi, the cook at Satriale’s was chopping up Fat Dom’s body to get rid of it. But, this somber selection from the Stones’ 1971 release, “Sticky Fingers,” takes us to a somber place with an air of regret, if you will, for this event. Repercussions will be felt. It is just a matter of time.

Okay, I really don’t have a whole lot going on right now. I thought I would just give you a short update. My buddy Dug-E-Fresh came to town this past weekend. It was really good to be able to hang out with him. Fortunately, Dug is moving into town to work at the new Lowe’s on Sir Barton, so we spent Saturday afternoon finding him an apartment and a pretty swank one at that. The Summit behind Brighton Place is where Dug will have his new Digs. Ha. Ha. Dig Dug.

I get to spend this evening in the nice confines of the Ramada Inn Convention Center on Paris Pike for traffic school. This will be such great fun. I can hardly wait to learn about the importance of safe driving and how my irresponsible driving affects others. I bet you want to go with me, huh? Ah, well. Off to school I go. Hey Joel, maybe I will see Wild Will from D & K Healthcare over there.

Check out that Stones’ song. I bet you add it to your playlist.
P.S. This is my 50th post anniversary! Hooray.

Why Do I Even Bother? You Hate It. I Know.

2006-07-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

“Don't pull your love out on me, baby
If you do then I think that maybe
I'll just lay me down and cry for a hundred years.
Don't pull your love out on me, honey.
Take my heart, my soul, my money,
But don't leave me drownin' in my tears.”
-“Don’t Pull Your Love Out” by Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynolds

I’m sorry for the rash of song lyrics. I hope you like them. There is a little story behind each one. As for this one, the story goes like this…

I was on my way to work Monday morning and I was listening to 105.5 FM. They play a lot of what I like to call AM Gold, usually a good mix of pop songs from the late 60’s and early 70’s. This song came on the radio. I guess I wasn’t really listening to the disc jockey that much and I missed the name of the song and the artist(or artists in this case). I was really grooving to this jam by the second chorus. This really isn’t a hard song to learn. When the song was over, I was racking my brain to figure the enigma of this song. “Who wrote it? Who was performing it? What is that smell coming from Martek?” No wait…scratch that last question, not important.

When I got to work, I was really busy, as my partner in crime, Toad, was out on vacation and I had to pull his slack. I forgot about my quest. The next morning I remembered I had meant to find out about the song. So, off I went to my official music guru, J. Way. He named of a couple of names that it possibly could have been, like Seals and Croft or Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. After a little searching, we came across the name Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynolds. J. Way said, “That’s it!” And sure enough, we were rocking to “Don’t Pull Your Love Out” in a matter of seconds.

From there, we went on a tear listening to similar stuff from 60’s and 70’s sampling Bread, Orleans, Doobie Brothers, England Dan and John Ford Coley. and America. Good timing jams. Then, I remembered I was at work and more important, I had work that I needed to review. My train ride aboard the Groove Express on the tracks to Funkytown had been derailed. Bummer, dude!

This news is just in from across the pond. No, not the Island Pond. Zinedine Zidane will don a mask and become a luchadore on Lucha Libres. His finisher move will be the “Don’t Talk Smack About My Mama When You Are Not Looking-Head Butt”. Ba-Dum-Chhhhh! (snare and high-hat) Sorry, that's all I've got. Out.

Over The Hills and Far Away

2006-07-07T16:05:00.000-04:00

“Cause we’ve never seen Honky Tonk ladies,
That look as good as those sisters do.
I heard they like to party.
Well, so do you and I.
So let’s lay a little bit of that brotherly love
On those sisters tonight.”
--"Brotherly Love" by Gary Stewart and Dean Dillon

These are some fine lyrics from one of my favorite CDs, the Essential Gary Stewart. There are so many songs on this album that could easily bring you to tears, under the right circumstances, of course. There are also killer, good-timing songs that make you want to sit in your garage and knock back roasin’ ears until the wee hours of the morning. Yea, Boy! (Not to be confused with a YEAH, BOYEEE!)

The weekend vacation to the heart of West Virginia with the in-laws was very interesting. There were some breathtaking sights such as the New River Gorge. There were also sight-taking breaths such as the riding stables at Babcock State Park. Eeech! The New River Gorge was something else. We stopped first to check out the view of the gorge at Hawks Nest State Park. The views from the lookouts are indescribable. We could see the New River Bridge far off in the distance. The bridge is tall enough to fit the George Washington Monument and two Statues of Liberty between New River and the bottom of the bridge.

Next, we took the tram down to the river for a jet boat ride up New River to the New River Bridge, the longest steel-arch bridge in the western hemisphere. This was really fresh as the water was getting pretty rough towards the bridge. An unfortunate kayaker was having a rough go at it somewhere upstream as we passed by a kayak paddle floating on its own on the way up the river. The boat captain smelled bad and I got to sit right behind him. He kept on mentioning he was out of jail on work release. Say it with me, “GREEAAAT!”

We checked out one of the crappiest parades I have ever seen in Fayetteville. It lasted about five minutes and was comprised mostly of bicycle riders. Not professional bicycle riders, just kids. No wheelies. No endos. No bunny hops. Disappointing, eh?

The next day, we visited Babcock State Park. This is where the famous Glade Creek Grist Mill is located. It really is a picturesque scene and would be the bomb in the fall. That evening, we went to the visitor’s center on the east end of the New River Bridge. There were a couple of great lookouts there. From there, we traveled the old road that winds down to the river. This took about a while, but it was quite worth it to look up to the bridge from the river. Yes, it is safe to assume I saw the bridge from every available angle.

On Monday, we visited Tamarack. Tamarack is a showcase for West Virginia artists and goods manufacturers. The paintings and sculptures were quite exquisite and intrinsically expensive. This was worth seeing nonetheless. After Tamarack, it was back to St. Albans. Beth and I met up with her friends, Jennifer and Chris, at the Fifth Quarter downtown in Charleston. We hung out on the patio waiting for the fireworks to start. Unfortunately, a pop-up thunderstorm ruined that. We stood under the awning of the restaurant waiting for the rain to stop. In the meantime, we were made privy to a wet t-shirt contest of the all the folks who had walked down to the boulevard to watch the fireworks and were caught in the rain. Some were nice, but most were…well, not so much. C’mon guys, you have to take the good with the bad.

It’s good to be back in the Bluegrass, despite having to work Thursday and today. I’ll remedy that this evening with some liquid cure-all and some brats on the grill. Tomorrow, I am grilling up a beer can chicken. Get on over to the Pond and get a leg.

Jess Tried To Call, But All He Got Was A Busy Signal

2006-06-26T12:43:00.000-04:00

"I've seen your face a hundred times,
Everyday we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah.
'Cause Mama, Mama, I'm coming home.
I'm coming home."
-O. Osbourne

And home I did go this past weekend. I started the visit off with a round of golf with Dad at Sugar Camp Golf Club. This course is a pleasant little surprise off the shoulder of Route 30 East in Noctor. I really enjoyed the course and look forward to the next time I get to play there. I didn’t play exceptionally well, but I managed to hit a few “golf shots”.

I saw a couple of friends from high school that I hadn’t seen in a while. They were the same as they were the last time I saw them. Dad and I were on the sixth green and I heard someone booming across the course, “Heeeyyyyy, Randaallllllll! Woooooooooo!” It was none other than Doug Moore. Classic. And yes, he was lit up like Christmas. Good times.

After the golf, Mom had dinner made and it was nothing less than off the chain. The menu consisted of fried chicken, potato salad, green beans, corn bread, and fried apples. Are you hungry now? After dinner, the cornhole boards were brought out and I proceeded to hand out the arse-whippings on Lost Creek. I don’t think I ever lost a game, but I think I lost a pint of blood to the mosquitoes.

From there, the shindig went to Jess’s garage. Jess, Neal, Mark and myself found us some sit-downs amid the car parts. The conversations are a blur, but I am sure they were full of insight and deep meaning. Mark punked out on us and ditched us for some chicks. Honestly, I can’t say that I would blame him. A single man hanging out with a bunch of hairy legs or single man hanging out with chicks? I guess there really wasn’t a decision to make.

On Saturday, my cousin Ryan and his fiancée, Amanda, were married at Riverside. It was a nice ceremony. Congratulations, you guys. Mom and Laura were crying all over us, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle and David Peden stayed solid, because that's his style. I saw a few family members and friends I hadn’t seen in a while. It was great to catch up with them. Being at Riverside brought back some great memories of my youth spent there on the campus at the “Light in the Hills” during the Fourth of July. Softball and foot races, you can’t beat them, unless, of course, you have a sno-cone.

Last weekend I got into Churchill Downs’ pocket. Beth, my buddy Sam, and I went to the track in the ‘Ville for the Stephen Foster Grade I Handicap. There were several good races on the card and I felt this was a day that I couldn’t have passed up. I cashed a couple of trifecta tickets and when all was said and done, I was up around $40. Not too shabby!

Beth is in Columbus on business this week until Wednesday. So, I guess, the cats and I will hold down Island Pond until her return. Maybe, I should hold down her car for her until she gets back. I’m sure she won’t mind. *Wink Wink*

“Hasta manana, amigos!”

I Apologize In Advance...

2006-06-14T16:07:00.000-04:00

DJ JDeezy here, coming to you live from another dimension. So, make sure you are tuned in and don’t touch the dial, because I will be giving you the word directly. It may not be the truth, but it is just another episode from the Island Pond Zone. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

Last Tuesday, I was made privy to the unveiling of the Roger Clemens, Version 2K.06 Yeah, I had tickets to what will go down in history as one of the most significant baseball events in Lexington, Kentucky. The future hall-of-famer, Roger “The Rocket” Clemens, made his comeback debut at Applebee’s Park on North Broadway and it was quite the spectacle. At the closest point, I was a mere 20 feet away from the brush-back legend (not to be confused with a Lexington Legend) himself. As I watched him “hot toss” with a one-night-only teammate, I realized what kind of cannon one must possess in order to be a hurler in the majors. Roger was standing on the right field foul line while his partner was standing in deep, center field. My line of sight was right over the top if Roger’s right arm. As he threw the ball to his catch-mate, the ball, maybe, dropped 18 inches. No wind-up, no crow-hop, just a quarter turn and a flip of the wrist was all it took for Rocket to achieve that velocity.

The game itself was okay. I had “standing room only” tickets, but it was still sort of hard to see. I think all the spectators 6 feet and over got there before our crew did. At least the stewards let those people with chairs in front of those standing. Needless to say, Beth and Dawn could see the game all right. Brandon and I had to tip toe to see over people’s heads. When we were tired of that, we walked around the park to get different vantage points of The Rocket’s delivery. He was definitely humming. I think one of his hottest pitches was clocked at 93 m.p.h. Heat or not, he still got rang up in the first by Johnny Drennen of the Lake County Captains. There was a mixed reaction by the crowd over the home run. It was 50/50 with some cheering and some booing. So, were there as many people at the game to see Roger Clemens fall on his face, as there were those there to cheer him on? So it seems. I heard several people making ill comments toward him. To each his own, I guess.

The whole ordeal had somewhat of a deeper meaning for me. Roger “The Rocket” Clemens, future hall-of-famer, 7-time Cy Young Award winner, 11-time All-Star, is beginning what will probably be his last season pitching. Why does this have such deep seeded meaning to me?

When I first started watching and playing baseball around 1984(BYF T-Ball), I would hear this name, Roger Clemens, mentioned by the older kids, coaches, and by Skip Carey and Don Nelson on TBS as they covered the Atlanta Braves on television. I never got to see The Rocket pitch then because he played for Boston and there was no inter-league play back then and we all know TBS was the only television station we had that carried baseball. But, everyone affiliated with baseball KNEW who THE ROCKET was.

Twenty-two years later, the possible closing of an era is eminent and looms ever so largely on Major League Baseball. Being an adult (by legal definition-no jokes needed) and having really reviewed the marathon career of Clemens, I, now, really feel the closure of my youth. It really makes me happy and sad to think of it all. Tidal waves of memories from my youth slam me one after the other. There are memories of my family spending summers at the ball fields. All the sacrifices my parents made to make sure we were there for every game and practice tears at my heart and places a huge lump in the back of my throat. The lifelong friends and acquaintances I have met along the way come to mind. The pizza and pool parties at the end of each season were always a blast. The life lessons I learned playing on the dusty fields on the bank of Panbowl Lake behind LBJ Elementary School will never be forgotten.

Hopefully, in the future, I will get to do the same for a child of my own. Just the way my father taught me to keep my caboose down while fielding the ball, I will explain to mine. “Keep your bat back and your elbow up!” “Always keep your eye on the ball” “If it hits you, it’ll only hurt for a minute.” Those are some of my favorites.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for helping me just realize how much more thankful I should be for you. I love you.

Vile Knave, Render Your Attention and Read Thy Blog

2006-06-05T15:12:00.000-04:00

With just a workweek away from the Belmont Stakes, I am starting to get a better picture in my head of the way the 2006 Belmont Stakes at Big Sandy will turn out. There are several up and coming horses worth a look along with some familiar names.

Steppenwolfer, for the distance, looks extremely good. If you remember, he was the strong second place running colt to Lawyer Ron in the Arkansas Derby. He will love the long stretch at Belmont Park. I can’t kick the fireball finisher Jazil out of the exotic plays. This colt really displayed its desire in the Kentucky Derby to rally for a dead heat fourth-place finish with Brother Derek (the Best of the West). Jazil, son of Seeking the Gold, has been working out at Belmont trying to get a good feel of the surface. I think he will also like the long stretch as he narrowly missed Bob and John running late in the Wood Memorial.

Sunriver, a Saint Ballado colt, will try to put forth another Grade I performance Saturday. Coming off of a win in his Belmont-prep race, the Grade 3 Peter Pan Stakes, the full brother to a champion filly Ashado, Sunriver will be readied by Todd Pletcher. We cannot forget his stablemate, Bluegrass Cat. After a surprising second place finish in the Kentucky Derby, Bluegrass Cat has been cooling his heels and getting his works done in Elmont, NY at the Big Sandy. On Bluegrass Cat’s Monday morning work, Pletcher said "He was well in hand and got enough out of it without overdoing it."

My long-shot pick for the Belmont Stakes is High Finance. The Rick Violette, Jr. trained son of Talk is Money, broke his maiden in April at Keeneland in a nine-length romp. In his next start, an entry-level allowance race at Aqueduct, High Finance pulled a five-length strike on the field. In this race he broke through the starting gate a la Barbaro before the Preakness Stakes and still won a race labeled as “in control from the start”. He breezed a mile yesterday in 1:38.49 and went the last eighth in 11 seconds and change. Not too shabby for a lightly raced colt.

Now you have my picks. Don’t bet them as the gospel—even if I do!

Now we are on to better things. Chase and Alisha stopped by the house Saturday for a brief visit before heading to a wedding. We were able to enjoy a nice lunch and some great fellowship. I hope they had a good time. Later on that evening, I went to the 10th Annual Karaoke in the Country at Riversong Ranch. A good time was in the making, but I had to get going to keep the standing Saturday night dinner date at Harry’s with my wife. It was hard to leave an ice, cold keg of Old Style, though.

On Sunday, I woke with fervor and high spirits. I wanted to go and do something, but I just didn’t know what. After a discussion with Beth, we decided on a trip to Louisville to eat at P.F. Changs and later, check out Paige and David’s soon-to-be new residence. After a busted trip to the farmer’s market on the way out of town, we hit the interstate. On the way, I called Paige to see if they would be available. She answered in the affirmative, but needed at least an hour’s notice. Okay what would we do?

Highlands Renaissance Festival!

This was the first annual festival for the Highlands RenFest (for short) in Eminence, KY. A great deal of work has been done to get this thing going. I was impressed, but not impressed like I am willing to go again. I must say that it is a spectacle to behold at least once. I don’t know if you have ever been to one of these festivals. I wasn’t so sure about them and I am still not sure. Everyone (except people like me in street clothes) is in character from the days of Rob Roy and William Wallace to the times of Geoffrey Chaucer and William Shakespeare. There are noblemen, knights, soldiers, faeries, blacksmiths, villagers, drunkards, knaves, and wenches. Yes, everyone speaks in Ye Olde English dialect. It is quite intimidating. Some guy has been talking to you for a minute in what sounds like gibberish and you are like, “Whaaaaa?!?” If you go, make sure to read some Shakespeare or Chaucer before you go so you will be brushed up on the tongue.

Also, if you go, make sure you bring a lot of cash ($100+). Everyone there is selling something, definitely stuff you don’t need, unless, of course, if you live your life in a fairy tale. And nothing is cheap. A must-do if you find yourselves there, as we did, make sure you watch the jousting. It is the real deal. Two armored knights galloping at each other on Belgian draft horses with lances. After that, they throw down on foot with swords and shields. Also, see the mud pit dramas--people in mud trying to be funny. Priceless.

Chang is good.

Uhhh....no, it's not.

P.F. Changs wasn’t all Beth had made it out to be. She even admitted this one wasn’t as good as the P.F. Changs’ she had eaten at in Raleigh-Durham, N.C. or in Columbus, OH. It wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t great. You win some and you lose some.

Give me a shout. Out.

DK Slayin' Em with the Magical Sewed-On Winky

2006-05-25T15:39:00.000-04:00

After taking two days off of work at the beginning of the week, the weekend is already knocking on the door. And you are darn tootin’ I’m going to let it in. Memorial Day weekend means a three day weekend for me and that's allllllright! Maybe, I can hit up a few cookouts this weekend. You guys know how much I’m into cookouts.

The fishing trip was uneventful. It was your run-of-the-mill May fishing trip. There was a little bit of fitching, little bit of goofing, and a little bit of cold beerin’. Joel, how many beers did we drink? A couple a piece? Yeah, that’s about right. Joey Joe and I successfully managed to be the only two people at the Parkview Cabins other than the chronic golfers to not catch fish. But, it was not for lack of trying. We really gave it the old Island Pond try. One night I thought we were going to be eaten by a three-toed, green-eyed wook-a-lar. We heard it coming for us. We quietly reeled our lines in, ran up the bank, and hid in our cabin.

We even tried a little boat fishing. No soup. We threw our arms off with no results. Our catch to cast ratio wasn’t as high as Wild Will’s this time. We saw fish, but we just couldn’t catch them. I might take dynamite for bait next time.

The Preakness really made me sick to my stomach. I just knew Barbaro could be the right nag to win the Triple Crown. It was a really rough for me to see him break down in the opening eighth of the Pimlico dig. He was dying to run that race and had it not been for jockey Edgar Prado, Barbaro would have died running that race. Prado, being the veteran jockey, knew what was best for horse and handled the situation without a blink. I give a tip of my hat to Prado for his quick thinking.

Some good from the Preakness came in the form of an excellent coming out party for the Grade III Withers Stakes winner, Bernardini. I had this lightly raced horse in my “all horses starting with ‘B’” trifecta box. He looked really good coming down the stretch and won going away. I look for some good things to come out of this A.P. Indy colt this fall. You will probably see Bernardini in the 2007 Breeder’s Cup Classic at Churchill Downs.

I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend. If you go to Lost Creek, you will be there in time to get in on some fresh strawberries from the garden. Thanks for dinner and the fresh strawberries Tuesday afternoon, Mom. I’m off to Wing Zone tonight to try some new wings. It’s too bad I have to drive all the way across Lexington to cash in my *20 free wings certificate I won from the Chis Cross show on WLXG 1300 AM. Hasta luegos, chevatos!

*The question was, "Name two of the five female jockeys to ride a horse in the Kentucky Derby."

Anyone want to give it a try?

Yes the title of the post was very vague, but if you call me I will explain.

Barry Bondseotypes

2006-05-12T15:17:00.000-04:00

I really am sick of everyone obsessing over Barry Bonds and his attempt to surpass The Babe on the career homerun list. Every sports talk show you see devotes at least 5 of 30 minutes of their programming to discuss every angle of the situation (i.e. Mike and Mike in the Morning, Pardon the Interruption, Four Quarters, etc.). The more they talk, the more hoopla is created--you know, the snowball effect. If everyone would just quit discussing the subject, the whole situation would come and go, just like Christmas.

“How does JDeezy feel about the situation?”

JDeezy does not condone the use of illegal, performance enhancing drugs. Not now. Not ever. This includes the Babe’s use of amphetamines to help him recover from his notorious all night benders and Hank Aaron’s use of greenies, also known as speed balls, to get him up for the game. For all three players, I will say this: Strength does not necessarily hit home runs. All the steroids and speed one can ingest will not help the individual see the baseball, nor does it help the individual put the bat on the ball.

While I participated in organized baseball and softball leagues, I remember even the smallest guys with excellent eyes and great bat-speed had the best batting averages. They were also proficient at swatting the long ball. Just take a look at Barry’s strikeouts relative to his at bats and home runs. You will see an extraordinary amount of base hits. It is very impressive. His ratio of career hits to career strikeouts is almost 2:1. During the span of his 20 year career, Barry has averaged a hit a game. There aren’t many players or former players who can say that about their time in Major League Baseball. Just think what his numbers would look like if teams would actually pitch to him...and pitching, that’s another thing. The pitching today is far superior to pitching earlier than 1960.

Once again, I don’t excuse the use of illegal drugs, but I do like to see records broken and history made.

Okay, we have had enough on that subject. I have one last rant to get off my chest. Why do stereotypes always seem to hold true?

Example: On my way to work, there are around three cars that I see every day that I know to either go ahead and pass them or just slow down and let them go. Today, another vehicle was added to the list. All of these vehicles have something in common—the drivers are Asian descendants.

Example: In college, going to fraternity parties, I saw a whole bunch of dancing. With Morehead having around an 85% Caucasian population, I saw a bunch of shoddy dancing--myself included.

Example: Every old, rusted-out Chevrolet Astrovan or Ford Econoline I pass in Lexington is full of Hispanics.

Why is the majority of the crime in Lexington committed east of Winchester Road and inside of New Circle Road? Why must it always fall into place?

This weekend, you guys have a good time. I am going to try not to worry about who is driving feebly and/or with how many in tow, who is dancing poorly, or what red-heads are getting their fill of the ale. Here’s to Barry Bonds and hopefully his record-advancing weekend! Go see your mother!!!

The Bottom Line

2006-05-04T09:34:00.000-04:00

You asked for the final Derby picks and I promised to deliver. Behold!

I don't like the fact that there isn't any speed in either hole beside Sinister Minister, or do I? I don't think Brother Derek, Lawyer Ron, or Barbaro will try to hang right on his heels. I hope Bob Holthus, Dan Hendricks, and Mike Matz are smarter than that. Dale Romans has been making noise about Sinister Minister being a gimmick horse and his Sharp Humor will be the pace.

I think Lawyer Ron is the horse to beat. He decided himself on how he would win the Arkansas Derby. Before the race jockey John McKee said he would sit back about 3 or 4 lengths from the pace and attack at the 3/8ths pole. The horse took off right before the half and never looked back. McKee said if he tried to rate him any more than what he was, he would have choked him.

Brother Derek looks like he is just climbing the ladder. Solid horse and I think he will stalk the pace nicely. He'll probably be the scratch, but even the scratch pays well in the Derby.

I also like Barbaro for the front end. He appears to be a solid horse. My only problem with him is that coming out of Florida this year, he hasn't faced really strong competition and is on a 5-week layoff. They might have given him too much credit at 4-1 odds.

I like Point Determined in the money. He is a late closer that always seems to gain position down the stretch. He’s the son of Point Given (who should have won the Triple Crown in 2001) and is a big muscular horse like his sire with Raphael Bejarano up. You gotta like the jockey.

I've also been looking really hard at Cause To Believe as a mid-field stalker. He likes to hang within the middle of the pack and from his charts he seems to have a great turn of foot at the 3/8ths pole. At 50-1 odds, I am really digging him. And...he is a gray horse with an old pro Russel Baze up on the mount. And you know what they say about gray horses.

My bets:
$2 across on Cause To Believe
$1 Tri part wheel
Lawyer Ron, Barbaro, Brother Derek with
Lawyer Ron, Barbaro, Brother Derek, Point Determined with
Lawyer Ron, Barbaro, Brother Derek, Point Determined and Cause To Believe

…and maybe some more if I do well on the earlier part of the race card. What are your picks? See you at Clocker’s Corner Bar!

Pick a Winner

2006-04-27T16:21:00.000-04:00

The word on the street is Keeneland was not as kind this past weekend, but I had a good time hanging out with some old fraternity brothers from the ‘Head. We met at the alumni meeting around 9 a.m. at the ReMax building on Palumbo. After the meeting, I scooped up Brandon from his house and we all met up in the parking lot of Keeneland for some pre-first post tailgating. From there, the day went along with my luck. I wasn’t totally all bust. I cashed a few tickets in. Plus, I really didn’t bet real heavy.

I am really looking forward to the Derby. It always seems to have good money in it. The trouble is just picking through the trash to find the runners. A friend at work has keyed me in on a late stretch runner named Jazil (pronounced JAZ-uhl, not Juh-ZEEL). This horse almost ran down frontrunner Bob and John in the 1 1/8 mile Wood Memorial at Oaklawn. I suspect the extra eighth in the Derby will give him more room to run down the stretch. Trained by Kiaran McLaughlin and son of Seeking the Gold out of Mr. Prospector, should have great dollar value when post time hits on May 6. If the speed is right, Jazil should close like a beast, much like the way he did in the Wood Memorial.

Another horse that I feel could be a threat is Steppenwolfer. Get over the cool name. This horse is an early closer with a good turn of foot around the 3/8ths pole. I am not very familiar with his trainer, Daniel Peitz. He is based out of Arkansas and trained Grade 1-winner Capote Belle. He was clearly the second best horse in the Lawyer Ron-owned Arkansas Derby. A too much, too early pace could put him in the roses-laden winner circle on May 6.

That’s enough of that. I am heading to Charleston, W.Va. this weekend for my niece’s birthday. It should be a cool trip, but we have to come back on Saturday. Beth has to be in Columbus, OH for business on Sunday afternoon. Maybe I’ll get a chance to watch Long Duck Dong at O’Neills Irish Pub on Saturday night.

You guys have a good week and hopefully I will give you my final Derby thoughts by next Thursday. That way we will have on paper my handicapping prowess. Until then….get yo ass out the kitchen, we on a mission.

Sun King and TL's

2006-04-20T15:53:00.000-04:00

“Rock and roll, rock and roll! I’m the king of rock and roll”
-Daniel Lioneye

That’s right. You heard me. Not original? True. Bam Margera is such a douche bag, but he does have one of the best intro songs ever on Viva La Bam. Dude, what a time it has been for the past couple of weeks. This time is flying by. I think it will be the month of May in 10 days? Ridiculous.

Where to begin?

Yard work. I had to do some backbreaking work on Thursday of last week. An area of ground 10 feet by 5 feet on one side of our house had subsided next to the foundation. I had to cut the sod up to preserve the grass, fill in the subsidence with a truckload of dirt, thanks to my neighbor Don, and finally, replace the sod. Fortunately, my partner in crime, the master of jurisprudence, Brandon, helped me out with the labor. This dropped the task hours from 5 hours solo, to 3 hours. BP, I owe you some cold beers.

Keeneland. Yes, this time I did better. I bet a total of $81 and won $109 and change. And no booze was involved in the earning of cash. Matter of fact, I haven’t drank any cold beer at Keeneland since last spring. It, obviously, clouds my judgment when handicapping the ponies. Anyway, a little trifecta and a huge exacta hit for me in seventh and eighth races (check the results for April 15th). God bless Sun King—the little Zito horse that could, then couldn’t, then could, again.

Easter. The Day of Resurrection was great at Mom and Dad’s. I grilled burgers, BBQ chicken, and smokies. Mom made the fixin’s. The grilled items were okay, but the weather was par and the company was nice. It was great day…..to be forgiven.

New Car Day. Whhhhaaaaaaaaaat? Yes, you heard me correctly, New Car Day. Somebody I live with, without naming names, bought a new car on Wednesday. You-know-who bought a 2006 Acura TL. Let’s just say this is one sexy hot rod. It’s black with black leather interior and navigation. I will finally get to rest Peanut’s heals a little.

Winding down, now. Yeah, I’m going back to Keeneland this Saturday. What? I have to go and cash my tickets. And make a few bets on the Lexington Coolmore Stakes. The in-laws are coming to Lexington this weekend. It should be a cool time.

Keeneland Tip #253: If you ever see Garret Gomez riding at Keeneland, you should at least put $20 to place on the horse he is riding.

Night of the Lepus

2006-04-13T15:25:00.000-04:00

Rabbits ate my free marigolds. I imagine they looked like this lupus. Happy Easter! Do you think it was the Easter Bunny that ate my marigolds? Sumbitches! I knew it! If they keep it up they will look like this.

I've got to do a little better this weekend at Keeneland. I turned in only one ticket last Friday. And it was only for 16 bones. That dang Rafael Bejarano has taken over at Keeneland since Pat Day retired. Just like Pat Day, I bet him, he doesn't even come close. If I lay off of him, after the race, he rides by the grandstand flashing his "V". Okay, so that wasn't his signature "V". He had won six races that day. Big J Will will be in the house Saturday. It'll be good to see him.

I'm going to Lost Creek this weekend. Hopefully, we'll see you there. Happy Easter, Turds!

Busy As a Biz-zee, Part II

2006-04-06T15:30:00.000-04:00

I have become one of those. As of Tuesday, when my phone rings, I hear “Looks That Kill” by Motley Crue. It sounds pretty good, if you are into the whole Crue-Nation thing. Dang Beth! It’s all her fault. But if you see me rocking while holding a cell phone, you’ll know why.

This past weekend was a very busy time and we also got a lot accomplished. I test-drove a 2007 Toyota Camry and test-rode an Avalon. We went to the home and garden show at Heritage Hall. We scheduled an estimate for a sunroom to be built on the back of our house. I mowed my grass for the first time this year. It definitely looks better.

Beth and I got to work on the flowerbed in the front of our house. The first few years in our house, the flowerbed was self-maintaining. This year it had finally gotten out of hand. We pulled and dug out the weeds and old mulch. We laid down new mulch and planted a few new flowers (marigolds and gladiolas). Shame on me for letting a honeysuckle bush get waist-high before doing anything about it. For those not familiar, the roots are twice as massive as what you see above ground. I also planted a yellow poplar in the backyard. I hope it grows pretty fast.

Keeneland’s Opening Day is tomorrow and guess who’ll be there! No, me, you silly bird! Beth’s friend Jennifer is coming to stay with us this weekend so she will make the Keeneland trip. And I’m sure a few other friends from work will be there, as well. I hope we won’t get wet. The forecast isn’t the greatest, but it will be warm. Tolly Ho, beetches!

Chase, sorry we couldn’t make it over to the Lou to see you guys. I got a little busy. That’s what I get for putting stuff off. Lesson learned. Joel, from what I saw a couple of weekends ago in Frankfort, you can still ball. You are the Ice Man (teeth chomp!).

Dumbfounded

2006-03-24T14:42:00.000-05:00

It really is quite amazing how much I learn about fishing in the short amount of time I spend with Uncle Dan on the lake. This guy has a solution for everything that arises while angling. Whether it concerns water clarity or bowel clarity, Dan has the answer. Just ask Dan the difference between monofilament and fluorocarbon fishing line. You will be all the more wise.

It also is really quite dumbfounding how priviledged I feel to even be in the same state as Uncle Ance. He may be the smartest man in his world. And he won't let you forget it. I mean he is so smart, he tells you your opinion. Thanks, Ance.

The fishing trip was quite non-eventful. We made a trip to the new BassPro Shop in Sevierville, Tennessee. Save your money because we will probably make a trip down there in May. It is only a 40 minute drive away. Yeah, I caught a couple of bass(the right way Bin Speeden). They weren't quite the size I had hoped for, but my efforts weren't totally in vain. I got sunburnt on Saturday and I am still peeling a little today. It's good to be home, though.

On to better news. UK played hard against UConn. I wasn't disappointed they lost, just glad they beat UAB. WVU lost a tough one to Texas. Duke went down last night to the hands of LSU. Good times. Gonzaga gave their game away to UCLA. Good times. And I know you shouldn't find joy in other's misery, but to see Adam Morrison on the floor crying like a sissy when there was still two seconds left on the clock and an opportunity to win? Guilty pleasure. I am still going with UConn to win it all. They have an easy walk their next two games: Washington and the George Mason/Wichita St. winner.

I think I hear horses running. I'll give you my early prediction for the Kentucky Derby. John Ward's Strong Contender(sired out of Maria's Mon and purchased at Keeneland for $800K) will be in the money, if he is eligible. Edgar Prado has been up on his only two times out. Strong Contender has been the pace for his races and that style of running definitely doesn't hurt position in the Derby. I am also a big fan of A.P. Warrior, a $1.3 million colt out of A.P. Indy. He is trained by John Sherriffs, the trainer of the 2005 Derby winner, Giacomo. So far he has been ridden by Pat Valenzuela, arguably one of the best jockeys of all time. I am pumped to see First Samurai at the Bluegrass Stakes this year. A capable front-runner, this horse has a really good shot of being in the money on May 6th. There is going to be a lot of great horse racing in the next few weeks to see.

That's all you get for now. Opening day of Keeneland is April 7th. I'll see you there. Unless you are at Buffalo Wild Wings in a couple of hours, I'll see you there, first.

Gone Fitchin' Again

2006-03-14T11:42:00.000-05:00

It is that time once again. The onset of spring and the around-the-clock programming of college basketball have arrived. And, I gladly welcome it with open arms. Despite the fact that UK will be, essentially, a non-contender, I can’t wait for the first round of the NCAA Tournament to start. Northern Iowa is my Cinderella pick for this year, F. Y. I.

Coincidentally, with the onset of the NCAA Basketball Tournament comes another reminder of spring. Our annual spring fishing trip to Cherokee Lake, Tennessee starts Friday morning. My brother-in-law, Dirty Bin Speeden, will probably meet me at my house and from there we will rendezvous with Cousin J-Rod somewhere along the interstate. We are going down a little bit earlier than the others to cash in on some extra fishing time. A. Tom Bomb, J. Will, Bluegrass Man, and possibly Bluegrass Man, Jr. will be down later, just in time to catch some first round basketball action Friday night.

The inspiration for this post came from my $160 trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods yesterday after work …and, NO, I did not buy any shoes. I went over there to buy some new fishing lures, a new tackle box, and, maybe, some speed snaps, if Dick’s had them. While I was there, I somehow convinced myself that I needed to purchase a new rod(6' 6" Shimano Convergence, Medium Flex/Fast Action) and reel(Daiwa Capricorn 100H) so I wouldn’t be out-fished due to down time for changing fishing rigs. My goal for this trip is to compete with J. Will’s cast-to-catch ratio. Hopefully, the rod and reel will work out good for me and I'll catch some mon-a-sters.

I am in for a weekend of fishing, armchair basketball coaching, and, possibly, a little poker. There might be a cold beer or two to sneak into the line-up, but I don’t think anyone will be counting. Now, let’s go fishing!

"...fellas, don't ya call me, cause I can't go;
I'm watchin' the Orlando Wilson Fishing Show!"

Is It Over, Yet?

2006-03-06T16:06:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yesterday was awful. Cats played like dirty butt. Billy Donovan wouldn't get off the court (How many warnings did referee Mike Stuart give him?). Wait...there were referees there? I think they were too busy watching the game to call the game. All in all, the game eerily went down the same way it did in Gainesville.

It is awful. I'll not go to another UK home game for the rest of this season. Ha, ha! Because there aren't any more. Yep, we went out this season with a 15 point dose from Florida. What a way to go.

The administration made the team take the team picture over again this morning for the SEC Tournament Program. Check it out!

Forum or Againstum?

2006-03-01T16:00:00.000-05:00

Have any of you guys ever participated in or read an online forum? I have noticed that all the conversations mostly, if not always, transform into nasty insult contests. This, I ponder, is due to the differing opinions in the world? After all, it takes all kinds. No. It all boils down to the lack of intelligence it requires to access the internet.

So, you think you have an insightful thought to add to the conversation. You type a comment to, hopefully, provoke some more thought on the subject. You check the forum the next day to see what kind of response has developed from your comment. There are fifteen responses. The responses range from a contradictory “WHAT N THE HELL RU TALKIN ABOUT” to an ascending “AMEN”. None of the comments are concerning the conversation at hand. From there, the participants who have responded, either in a reinforcing note or defaming note, have declared World War III over your comment…and it’s all name calling. People are slamming each other with names and saying derogatory statements about one another that would make a merchant marine blush.

I don’t care if stardaZZler420 fornicates with woodland creatures. And it really is of no concern to me that BlueCHAOS diddles with his diddler in his mom’s basement until the sun comes up.

Enough already. What I have learned from observing these forums is that when people reply with personal attacks, it proves that they don’t have a leg to stand on in the argument…or one that they are aware of, anyway. I have learned that you don’t go into a battle of wits against an unarmed man. It makes you look worse than the idiot you are arguing against.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think I will ever stop reading forums, but I am definitely not going to join any more of them. A really funny forum to read is on a "Can Tubby Smith" website. I am sure you can guess the topic of conversations. I will give you a little background on this forum. There are a few University of Tennessee fans who have invaded the site and they really know how to get a few UK fans into a boil. The messages are pretty much the same on every thread, but the insults are always fresh. They occasionally get off-color, so you have been warned.

Will UK beat the Vols tonight? I think they will. Am I betting on it? NO!

A Letdown of Olympic Proportions

2006-02-21T08:37:00.000-05:00

Aren't the Winter Olympics at Torino or Turin (...or whatever NBC has changed the name to today) quite the disappointment? I have never been more disgusted with them than what I am now. I think the United States has sent a bunch of apathetic idiots over there to compete in games that are for the sense of national pride and not so much for self-promotion. Needless to say, this round of Olympits, as Beth calls them, has left me quite soured.

Dillhole #1 Lindsey Jacobellis

To the naked eye, she appeared to be the young snowboardingcross queen. The sport looked like a motorcross on skis with Lindsey gunning the throttle.

To the trained Island Pond eye, she looked like a thirteen year old trapped in a twenty year old's body with her raging immaturity coming out in a backside grab with 60 degree fakey on the next to last jump. This was followed, of course, by her "eating it" as Sweden's Tanja Frieden scooted by her for the gold. Jacobellis' need for instant gratification could not be staved off until the last jump, where if she were to fall, she would have probably slid to the finish in first place.

Post race, Lindsey proceeded to lie about what happened by stating she did the maneuver to create stability--standard procedure. None of the other girls had to do this. Maybe, Lindsey has an inner ear problem. No. This was the worst part of the whole ordeal for me. A few hours later, she admitted she was caught up in doing so well. She just had to let the world know how great she was. Pathetic.

Dillhole #2 Johnny Weir

The self-proclaimed "man to beat" in men's figure skating wears a swan outfit? Yeah, this is true, but it is only part of the reason why he is getting trashed in my books.

When I saw his picture in the newspaper the day after he missed the bus, I thought it was a girl. I don't know how far this thought is from the truth, but Mr(s). Weir began with all his reasons why he sucked. Not really. Weir stated that his aura was MIA, inside he was black, and something about a bus. Translation, "I want to go shopping!"

The real reason this douchebag is slammed is because Weir embarked on his shopping excursion as soon as his mediocre scores were read from the judges. Not too classy and a tad bit sassy!

Maybe add a "Q" to his last name?

Don't lie. You were thinking it.

Dillhole #3 Bode Miller

We all saw this coming, didn't we? Yep, Bode Miller. The name says it all. This putz has done everything in his power to make himself appear to be the biggest jackass under the sun, bar none except Tony Stewart.

Before the Games even started, Bode was bragging on national television of his skiing under the influence from the excess he had partaken of the night before. After being chastised by his coaches and threatened with expulsion from the Winter Olympics by U.S. Olympic Committee members, Miller retracted his statements and said he didn't condone such activities. A few days later, he trashed Barry "U.S." Bonds and Lance Armstrong as dopers in the Rolling Stone magazine. Now, Miller is getting trashed in a bar and on my blog site!!!

The ning nong has successfully ruined all but one chance of salvaging a medal at the games in Turin, Italy. His last chance with Olympic gold will be Saturday night in the slalom. I am betting dollars against doughnut holes, Bode Miller chokes on his Miller High Life one more time just so he can say "I'm not very good, but, Damn, I'm slow."

Joel, thanks for your hospitality the other night. I really enjoyed myself. Your cat is a dingbat. It's too bad you live down in a hole on Knott's Berry Farm. Otherwise, we would do it more often. No, wait, it probably is a good thing you live in the hole! Catch youse on da flip!

"You Know I Am a Dreamer, But My Hearts of Gold"

2006-02-14T11:21:00.000-05:00

Man, that's a great "Crue" song. It's running through my head right now. And let me guess, your's, too? Lucky!!! My favorite, though, is "Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)". To be an 80's hair band, their lyrics weren't too bad. And you know you slow danced at least once to this one....."Without You".

In a Lexington Herald Leader sports article, Tubby Smith said he told his team to treat this Wednesday's game with Georgia as the first game of the season.

"A clean slate..."

Yeah, right. Maybe he can convince his tired tribe of terribles that this will be the first game of the season, but not me. There's not enough grape Kool-Aid in Jonestown, Guyana to make me forget about the way this season has progressed.

"The only way to hold them accountable now," he said. "I guess we're going to reinvent or rejuvenate ourselves."

Does this mean Tubby is accepting the blame for the condition of the basketball program? Is he saying that maybe it is not Bubba Sparks and Saul Jr.'s (a.k.a. Rondo) fault? O-Tub also refers to his situation as "we're" and "ourselves". It sounds as if someone has a froggy in his pocket. How about you, Mr. Smith? Ribbit. He's just like any other sports coach under Mitch Barnhart, not held accountable for anything.

Joel and Alex, I am coming to see you guys Saturday after we watch UK's game at Mom and Dad's house, so get ready. Joel, whatever CD's you have of mine, i.e the Gray Goose Collection, David Alan Coe, and others, I am coming to get them.

Peace and Happy Valentines Day.

Blown Away

2006-02-09T12:36:00.000-05:00

This is what Kentucky felt like after losing to Tennessee the other night. The headlines yesterday should have read "Local Boy Does Good". I think Chris Lofton dropped 31 on the Cats. He wasn't good enough for Tubby two years ago. He just lead his team, the Mason County Royals, to the state basketball championship at CorRUPPt Arena in 2004 and won. After that, he was named Mr. Kentucky Basketball. Now, he just stops by once a year to drop 20 points or so on UK. The "Mr. Kentucky Basketball" title never stopped Tubby from recruiting a player before. But maybe, he thought he might be getting another Josh Carrier or Brandon Stockton. What does Tubby really know?

Bullpoo for Some Bullpoo

2006-02-07T08:25:00.000-05:00

**Flash**
The following article may hurt your feelings if you are a Seattle Seahawks fan. It is from my perception of the truth as I saw it. I will remind you that...
I AM NOT A STEELERS FAN!!!

All the sportswriters rooting for Seattle (i.e. Fox Sports' Kevin Hench, Brian Baldinger, and Aaron Schitz, sorry his last name is Schatz) are saying the referees were making all the big calls in Pittsburgh's favor. I watched this game with an unbiased eye--neither Steeler's, nor Seahawk fan am I--and to me, there were just as many questionable calls the other way. Can you all just get over it? Seriously, make all the excuses you can and then some, but the fact remains the Pittsburgh Steelers are the proud parents of the Vince Lombardi trophy for the year of 2006. All the crying and whimpering you pour out will do nothing to change the outcome of the game. It will only prolong your agony.

Ben Roethlisberger's running touchdown in the second quarter was good. After seeing no less than twenty instant replays, it was quite obvious the ball broke the plane of the goal line (The goal line is a three inch wide stripe. The invisible vertical line that extends from the goal line is not the edge inside the endzone. It is the edge facing the one yard line.) and before Ben's elbow made contact with the ground. This plane was definitely broken. If you think it wasn't, maybe, you were watching the lingerie bowl, instead. Darrel Jackson blatantly pushed off of Chris Hope's chest in the end zone to catch the TD pass from Hasselbeck, a.k.a. Brett Favre, Jr., which was called back. Ticky tack or no ticky tack, if the ref sees it he calls it.

The same goes with all the holding calls that were assessed against the Seahawks. All the replays showed the physical evidence. Blatant holds? No. They were holds nonetheless. I don't think that since it is a big game, you let minor penalties go by, especially if the penalties are called against your team.

Bottom line:
1). Mike Holmgren let his team down with poor play calling and clock management.
2). Matt Hasselbeck is an idiot quarterback (hence, the name Brett Favre, Jr.) who doesn't see the entire field. He has his favorite targets. It's a wonder how he hasn't set the league record for most interceptions thrown in a season.
3). The team as a whole broke down and committed several fundamental errors (i.e. holding, pushing off). Period.

"Bottom" Bottom line: Pittsburgh wins. Congrats.

On to worse topics. Kentucky suffered a serious defeat at the hands of Florida this weekend. This game literally made me sick to my stomach. After a solid first half performance, going to the locker room up four agaist the #7-ranked Gators, the Cats orchestrated a 15 point loss. There were some horrible calls and no calls by the officials, which kept Billy D's crew close, in the first half. UK should have had a 15-point lead at halftime. But, it doesn't matter when in the second half Tubby reverts his offense back to his stand around staple. I think within ten minutes of game clock into the second half, UK was down fourteen points. This was when I became ill at my stomach and spent the next four game minutes in the bathroom--could have been the Mexican pizza from Toxic Bell that I ate for dinner. When I came out of the stinky sanctuary, UK was down 22 points. Hooray.

UK seems to be in a race with Louisville (defeated by Cincinnati yesterday) to see who can be the first declared not elligible for the NCAA tournament. I say good luck to both teams.

I would like to wish very Happy Birthdays to Sooper Trooper Jeol and Sooper Stoodent L-Beezy! I hope you guys have great ones tomorrow. Oh yeah, a belated Happy Birthday to Daddio and the wifey. Don't worry, I remembered to wish them Happy Birthdays via other mediums.

I will leave you with one of my favorite party/anytime appetizer foods. It's good by itself, covered with jam, or dipped in ketchup or mustard or anything you like. I was told during the Super Bowl, it tasted like gravy and biscuits. Huh, well, alright!

1 pound of ground sausage
1 8 oz. package of cream cheese (I used low fat, could you tell?)
2 8 count cans of crescent (not croissant) rolls (One can for each pastry)

1) Brown the sausage in a skillet. Drain and while still hot, mix with the cream cheese until thoroughly mixed.

2) Lay out four crescent triangles the way they are packaged, in a rectangle. It works best if you overlap them and pinch them together at the seams. (I flour the cookie sheet I am using to keep the crescent rolls from sticking) Roll out the laid out crescent roll triangles with a floured rolling pin until it is about 1/8 of an inch thick. This is the bottom half of the pastry. Once done, do the other four crescent roll triangles the same way as the first four for the top of the pastry..

3) Once both are rolled out, spread the sausage cream cheese mixture on one of the pastry halves, filling it out close to, but not to the edge. (Make sure you only use half of the sausage cream cheese mixture so you will have more for the other can of crescent rolls.)

4) Lay the other half of the pastry down on top of it and pinch it together around the edges.

Repeat the steps 2 through 4 for the other can of crescent rolls.

Once you have the two different sausage/cream cheese/crescent rolls together, bake at 375 for fifteen minutes or until the top of the pastry is golden brown. Cut into inch and a half slices across the pastry.

It is a nameless creation, so if you can come up with a good name for it let me know.

"Clerks II-The Passion of the Clerks" is coming out this year.

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!" --Dante Hicks from Clerks

Are They Trying to Get Us Sanctioned?

2006-01-27T16:10:00.000-05:00

What the hell's going on? Man, I ain't seen you guys in a long time. I think the last time I talked to you Kentucky was facing South Carolina at home and I called Randolph Morris out for being solid and consistent. Well....didn't I jinx that all to hell? That's okay. Kentucky won the South Carolina game at home and the Tuesday night game at Auburn. Are they on the up and up? Good question.

I have become complaisant for UK being just a mediocre to good team. Twenty wins and ten losses aren't so bad, right? I think maybe we just get so used to something going the way we expect it to. Then, all of a sudden things aren't so great. It's like jumping into a pool of ice water or more like being pushed into a pool of ice water. We get angry when we only have good when we are used to great. (I'll leave this open for Mr. Relevant to relate a good message from this.) What if we were Canisus or Miami of Ohio fans (Yes, that was a burn to T. Vero.) Bad would be acceptable and mediocrity would be outstanding. You would never be disappointed after a loss because you think the team sucks. After a win, you are estatic. What do you think?

There was an article today in the sports section of the Lexington Herald Leader about Rajon Rondo driving around a $50,000 2005 Yukon Denali. Why, blatantly, bring attention to this? The article further explains that the vehicle checks out, as it belongs to former UK basketball player Derek Anderson. This being the same Derek Anderson from the UK 1996 NCAA Championship team. Apparently, DA and RR were homies from back when Rondo was still at Oak Hill Academy and buddies with DA's teenage son(?), subsequently named Derek Anderson, now, a senior at Oak Hill Academy. Strange. But, the whole Denali thing checks out since DA and RR were friends before RR became a Division I prospect.

My question, rhetoric as it may be, is why shoot up flares in the night sky? CorRUPPt Arena strikes again. The only similarity shared by Rondo's vehicle and the vehicle I drove in college is the color white. In the article was a picture of him getting out of the vehicle carrying an Arby's bag. Damn, that stuff is expensive. When I was in college, I had to eat off of the 99 cent value menu at Wendy's and order a water to drink. Also, I live in Lexington and had no clue Rondo drove around in a big white 2005 Yukon Denali. Now, I will keep my eyes out for it.

"Rondo, give me yo autograph!"

"LET"S GOOOO, RONDOOOOOO!!!!" --some big blonde haired girl whose season tickets are beside ours. She just so happens to be the loudest person in Rupp Arena and yells pretty much the same three things over and over and over and over and over all game long. Hooray for me.

1) The previously mentioned statement.
2) "MOVE THE BALLLL!!!"
3) "C'MON PATRICK!!!"

*Funny story alert*

I was in the analytical lab today at work checking some documentation. The lab's telephone started ringing. A girl who was walking out of the room at that moment said, "Huh, that's strange." Then, she just kept on walking. The people I work with....

What in the hell is so strange about the telephone ringing at work? This made me wonder if she is really an alien. No doubt.

"I'm a hellar fellar! If you don't believe me, just ask me!"

Where There is Smoke, There's Fire

2006-01-20T14:24:00.000-05:00

Someone, anyone, please reassure me that today is Friday. This has been the longest week and today has been the longest day. People at work seem to save all their work for me until Thursday or Friday. This means, of course, I am busier than usual both of these days. Little do they know, I am not performing at 100% on Friday afternoon. My brain is a little mushy from the earlier part of the week. GOT ANY CHEESE?!?! Yep, that's how I feel. My quick cure? Buffalo Wild Wings. If they had couches there, I could live there. Wings, beer, big screen TV's, video games, bathrooms. The only thing stopping me is the bathroom sans shower. I guess I could take a whore's bath, you know, tops and tails.

Kentucky rebounded a little from their Saturday loss from Alabama. They seemed to handle Georgia fairly easily once they got going in the second half. Morris is here folks and he is solid. Thank goodness. He's averaging 14.3 points and six rebounds a game since returning. Damn!! Just think....he is out playing UK's three 7 footers combined. Sad.

I am looking forward to this Saturday's game against South Carolina. They beat Vandy this week and you know what Vandy did to us. This game will be a tell-tale sign of what will become of our beloved Wildcats.

The fatter of my two fat cats took a dump the other night while I was half asleep and Beth was watching the 11 o'clock news. She asked me if I smelled something burning. My nose was a little stuffed up, so yes, it did smell like something burning. I walked downstairs to check it out. The burners on the stove all were off. I walked to the laundry room where our furnace is, flipped on the light and then immediately flipped out. There were man-sized turds (about 6 inches long, big around as a fifty cent piece with little dingleberries on each side)in the floor of the laundry room. I spun a round really quick to see if someone in the house. No man was there, but around the corner popped Chloe.

"Meow."

If she were a dude, I would have beeeeaat that ass! She crapped in the floor a foot from the litter box. A foot! I gave her a good cussin'. I knew it was her because Zoe was asleep in the floor at the foot of our bed when I walked downstairs. Bad cat.

Beth cleaned it up, thankfully. Needless to say, Chloe is on my shit list and I on her's.

Ken-sucky and Indianapo-crap

2006-01-16T16:12:00.000-05:00

Make sure you check this out and in a hurry. It is possibly the funniest things since http://www.realultimatepower.net. It is http://www.4q.cc/chuck/. The laughs will be immense. (For some reason, my hyperlinks aren't working. Please, cut and paste in the address box.)

Question: "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Answer: "Chuck Norris."

P.S. Kentucky is on a three game losing streak. A friend at work told me his brother started this website: http://www.scrubtubb.com

P.S.S. Indianapolis Colts and "Happy Feet" Manning looked like crap as they let Pittsburg roll over them yesterday. As much as the officials wanted Indy to win, their bad calls were no match against the Colts' suckiness. Smooth, Vanderjagt, real smooth. Steelers, I am now behind you 100%.

I'll Show You My Randolph If You Show Me Yours

2006-01-09T14:50:00.000-05:00

Greetings from Blogville! I hope this finds you all well. I have not much to update you with at the moment. Maybe, I will take some time to rant for a few over the latest Kentucky shaming on the court.

It was pretty miserable for Kentucky fans Saturday afternoon as the Cats packed an incredible ass-whooping from the undeservedly unranked Jayhawks, 73-46. As this game progressed, my lust to watch Kentucky basketball disappeared, much like the giant pot of chili I had made. (More of the chili later.) So much, in fact, I have already sold the tickets for the UK/Vandy SEC home opener for Tuesday night. Yeah, Randolph Morris (more of him later)will be back, but 9:00 p.m. is too late of a game start for a working man like me. It took me three hours at work to find anyone to buy them. Usually, I have tickets sold before 8:00 a.m. A spanking like Saturday's seems to be the cure for Cat Scratch Fever.

Not a single player for Kentucky was in double digits in any category as Jayhawk Brandon Rush made a strong argument for his bid as NCAA freshman of the year. Rajon Rondo couldn't do anything with Rush as he rolled up a double-double, 24 points and 12 rebounds. 73-46. What I don't understand is that Kentucky has to many high-caliber players to be suffering defeats as this.

"We are trying to hit our stride, and we are not playing at the level we'd like to be playing at. We're still trying to get some real chemistry and cohesiveness in our scoring. Our defense has been solid all year long, and now we're picking up rebounding-wise. We just need to get some more scoring, and I think that will help once we get Randolph Morris back." -- Coach Tubby Smith

All these remarks have to be in exception to the Iowa, North Carolina, and Indiana games, where the defense was not so solid. I will address the Randolph Morris statement. Several UK fans have been surmising Randolph's support from the athletic staff to return to the team and the reiteration of his return to team as making the team go from an inconsistent to contentious team has crippled the team. Maybe, the players feel there is no confidence in their coaches or athletic department, a.k.a. Mitch Barnhart and crew. While everyone has been going to bat for the misguided Morris, they forgot to remind the faithful, those who didn't try to enter the NBA unqualified, that they could win without Morris. We are looking at some interesting and possibly challenging times as Wildcat fans. Let me know what you think.

Now, we are on to something more noteworthy.

I had a couple of friends over to watch the game(if that is what you recognized it as)with Beth and I, Brandon, a.k.a. "Notorious" and Brett a.k.a. "The Hitman". Brett, Beth, and I stuffed our gullets with chili I had made a couple of days before. Brandon is on a diet and had vaginitis (sorry), so he couldn't eat any chili. Anyway, the chili wasn't made from a top secret recipe or anything, but I have discovered a little trick into making good chili taste like great chili. Once you make your chili, don't eat it right away. Pour the chili into an air-tight container and let it sit in your fridge, free from cat butt, for at least 24 hours. This lets the flavors blend as this results in a uniform flavor. Mmm, Mmm, Beetches. My trick also works with green beans and baked beans.

I am going to watch Kentucky play Tuesday night, but in the comfort of my own home. It's on ESPN at 9:00 p.m., 8:00 p.m. for the Carbondalians. It's too bad I have already eaten all of the chili.

Ain't It Funny?

2006-01-05T08:08:00.000-05:00

Ain't it funny how people sidestep then jab? I am speaking of the way people communicate when trying not to step on toes or when they just want to hear themselves speak because they think they are smart and should be heard. I tend to run into this situation on a daily basis, especially at work. Of course, I am not innocent of this crime of mannerism and I bet you aren't either. I can give you a more specific example if you are unsure.

People use the phrases "I am sorry, but...", "I don't mean to sound hateful, but...", or "I don't want to sound rude, but..". What are these people doing other than announcing their agenda? Maybe it should go like this: "I don't want to sound rude, but I am getting ready to be rude." It seems they think if you admit something before you actually do it, then it is okay to proceed with the un-nice-ity, if you will. Maybe if I say, "I don't mean to rob this bank, but..." it is okay and I will be forgiven, no jail time. Please.

Usually, as soon as I hear the drop line, "I am sorry, but...", I tune out. "La dee dee, Texas National Champs, tra la la, USC not greatest college football team of all time, la la." I think that we should sidestep the formalities of sparing and then unsparing individuals feelings and just come right out with what we are saying. Like saying "I'm sorry, but..." is going change their minds about the subject once they hear you blab?

Instead of this: "I'm sorry, but USC is not the greatest college football team of all time."

Say this: "USC sucks."

I am definitely going to start doing this. I would rather someone say, "Damn, that dude is blunt!" as opposed to "Damn, that guy is one rude ass!" Think about it.

Bah Hamburg!

2006-01-03T14:57:00.000-05:00

The title of this post sums up my feelings of this past year's holiday season. Bah Hamburg! And yes, I am referring to the Lexington shopping mecca. It really makes me have ill feelings for that time of year. Every out of town SOB that doesn't know how to navigate an automobile goes there to Christmas shop. I was in that area four times from December 7th to December 30th. Everytime I went there, I was nearly T-boned by some idiot from Lincoln County, Carter County, or "insert county you hate most here" County. Why they travel all the way to Lexington to shop at Hamburg is beyond me. It is more overpriced than the mall and to go from store to store, you have to brave the fierce, flatland cold. Idiots!

Thankfully, Hamburg has relieved some of the strain on the Fayette Mall. I could actually find parking places the two times I ventured there. I guess you could say my relief is my misery. It is my misery because I have to drive by it everyday on the way home.

The holidays were great once I got out of the Bluegrassburg region. Great times were had at my in-laws' and my parents' houses. I really missed not being at Lost Creek on Christmas Eve, though. It was really great to visit with my new and old relatives. I got some great gifts-sometimes twice. I hope you had a great one.

I am a little tired of the New Year's Eve hoopla. It is a night of amateurs and I believe I am willing to retire from going out to celebrate the evening. This year we ate dinner at Outback, stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings for an hour, and went home before 11:15. I think... no, I know I would rather have been at Elkatawa hanging out with my family. Golf at Southwind Golf Course Sunday morning with Dad, David Willis and Jimmy Lee was pretty cold, but I still managed to freeze out an 82. Not bad for having last played sometime in October.

Nice Sugar Bowl win WVU, even if the commentators at ABC badly wanted you to lose.

"That's a load of crap, man! I swear ta GOD!" --Donny Baker

Mary, Getchur Coat!

2005-12-22T14:58:00.000-05:00

Congratulations Unit 899, a.k.a. Super Trooper Joel Abner. I thoroughly enjoyed the graduation and wish you the best as you embark on your new career. You made me nervous looking at you in your gray and blues. TUFF!

I believe that we need to have a family discussion about an extremely bad habit we share. It usually occurs after graduations. It is hard for me to say this, so I am just going to throw this out there like Ron Burgundy. "If you don't like it, just throw it right back." Family, we really need to get over everyone descending on Cracker Barrel all at once. It's hard on everyone involved--the wait staff, my nerves, the furniture, the facilities, etc... I know some of you feel the same way, admit it. You always complain about getting bad service. There's twenty of you, for crying out loud! That's all I will say about that. Discuss it amongst yourselves.

I am sad I will be unable to attend the Abner's Christmas Eve festivities this year. Being a newly married man, I will be in Southeastern Ohio (West Virginia) for the Rhodes' family Christmas. However, I will be in town for the Christmas Day dinner (how could I miss) on Lost Creek. I am looking forward to the Rhodes Family Christmas experience. I bet Emma will be like the Tasmanian Devil--quite entertaining. Still, I am very sad to miss my family's shindig.

In leaving the post, I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you get everything you want and your New Year's resolutions come to fruition. I am sure I will have some stories to tell after the holidays, so get ready and eat some figgy pudding! Advice for the post (something new I will try here): Don't ask Laura any questions about school.

P.S. Check out ya boy, Part III: The Son of Earp

One Great Guy...

2005-12-15T14:21:00.000-05:00

The world found itself less one great guy on Monday, December 12, 2005. Sadly, Kevin Rice has passed away. Kevin was one of my best friends in high school. He was a great guy and will surely be missed by his family and several friends. Kevin, I thought the world of you. You definitely left your mark on the world and in my heart. I thank you. Peace be unto you.

Please, visit Kevin's obituary guestbook.
http://www.legacy.com/kentucky/Guestbook.asp?Page=Guestbook&PersonID=15978553

The Dismantling of a Dynasty

2005-12-14T15:32:00.000-05:00

*DISCLAIMER*
The following statements are in no way, shape, or form factual. They are merely opinions of the blogger and are not endorsed by the medium in which they are delivered.

Something must be done and done in a hurry. The Kentucky Wildcats are fastly coming undone at the hinges. And it is being done by the hands of one man and one man only.......Josh Carrier. Who else should be blamed for such poor efforts on the floor? It is the man sitting in the row directly behind the bench. You can see him during televised games. Looking all dapper in his Sunday best. His official title is the Assistant Ball Bag. Yep, not assistant conditioning coach or assistant equipment manager, but assistant ball bag or assistant to the ball bag....something like that. He scrubbed the bench trench for Kentucky for four years prior, witnessing several quality games that you and I only dream of getting to see first hand. That wasn't enough for him, now, he gets to see them all again from one row back.

"What's wrong with that?"

To the naked eye, nothing. To the Jedi-trained Island Pond Eye, everything! Just imagine, if you will, yourself as Ravi Moss, just out of the game, after nailing two threes in a row, to catch a breather. Carrier leans in to whisper in your ear what you think will be a "Good hustle!" Nope. He says, "Got any cheese?" You're like, "Whaa?!?" And just at that moment, Tubby yells at you to get back into the game.

You come in on the back end of a one and one. The shot bricks and you grab the rebound. As you begin to look up to kick the ball out to Rondo, the words echo slowly in your ear..."Goooootttt aaaaannnnnnyyyyy cccchhhhheeeeeese!" And you, ever so smoothly, chuck the ball way in front of Rondo only to watch it sail out of bounds. You whirl around to glare at Carrier, but, alas, he isn't there. You do, however, catch the laser beam eyes from one Orlando Smith. Excellent. The 2001 Mr. Kentucky Basketball is standing at the end of the bench laughing at you. GRRRRR!

See what I'm talking about? This can be the only explanation of the early season demise of the Bluegrass Brick Cats. Carrier is selfishly and intentionally trying to get in the heads of the fine young athletes on the 2005-2006 Wildcat roster. I assume to make his years, the years of a Mr. Kentucky Basketball award winner, not seem so bad. Good luck.

After careful deliberation, I have come up with an idea to put an end to this nonsense. I am willing to start a petition to eradicate this individual from the sidelines by hook, book, or crook. I will present said petition to the University of Kentucky athletic director Mitch Barnhart myself.

Hey you!!! Yeah, you!!! Join the cause. Fight for your right to partay....wait? Where did that come from? I mean fight for your right to watch decent Bluegrass basketball. Sign up today.

"If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter!" --Principal McGee "Grease"

...And Then It Was Done.

2005-12-07T16:46:00.000-05:00

The union joined and the journey initiated. That says the long and short of it. It has now been a week and four days since I have endured the rite of passage we call a "wedding". Do I feel the same? Yes, very much so. And no, not at all. Will this experience change me? Time will tell, but I hope so. The woman I married will hopefully take me on a dynamic expedition of learning. She will help me to mold my life so that it's not my life anymore, but ours. She will prepare me for the unpreparable. That's right, Beth, I've got big expectations for you as well as myself.

Everything was perfect, so I've been told. To me, the wedding, the reception, and the honeymoon was nothing but a blur. I have been to a foreign land and back, but it seems like only minutes have passed. I sincerely hope this is not the way the rest of my life, wait, correction, our life will be. I am in the midst of something I really wish to cling to for eternity and a day.

However, it seems as if I am trying to lasso a G-Dub created hurricane. Slow down the unstoppable force, if you will.

I would have really enjoyed to bring you guys some pictures from our honeymoon, but I am still living in the pre-historic age and only took photos with disposable cameras. Maybe Mr. or Mrs. Relevant can link up some photos of the wedding and reception? If not, that's okay.

"No pressure, Mon!"

This phrase was uttered over a thousand times to Beth and I while in St. Lucia. Translated to the Midwestern U.S. English, it means "You've got it!" An example of this would be:
Bartender: "What you be a' drinkin', Mon?"
Me: "I would like a Pedro Collins, please."
Bartender: "Fo de fine missus?"
Beth: "A Dirty Banana, please."
Bartender: "No pressure, Mon!"

There is a semi-active volcano on the island. We were able to walk inside it. I have pictures, no, not digital pictures. The pressure from the gases and heat below escape in the form of sulfur dioxide laden steam. Yes, it is incredibly smelly. You know, like Jackson's finest. The sulfur dioxide smell is evidence there is no pressure build up from the gas and heat below. Therefore, "No pressure, no problem." As this has been shortened to "No pressure!"

There, you have learned something.

Educational website like mine should win an award.

Check Out Ya Boy, Part Deux

2005-11-10T16:24:00.000-05:00

Some more pictures of Je-Dol the Jedi! Or a padawan learner?
http://www.kentuckystatepolice.org/images/cadet_class_84/week_15/22l.jpg
Here, Je-Dol is the yeti in the background.
http://www.kentuckystatepolice.org/images/cadet_class_84/week_15/11l.jpg
You can almost smell Je-Dol's determination to nab the perp!

On, On Turkey of Day

2005-11-07T16:04:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard 24,000 people trying to clap in synch with a song, i.e. On, On, U of K? Well, the sychronization lasts for about 10 beats. Honest Injun! The people in the land of the Bluegrass can raise tobacco, corn, and cane with the best of them, but clapping just isn't the strongsuit here. I witnessed this first hand for the umpteenth and hopefully not the last time at Rupp Arena last Wednesday. Northern State was in LexVegas to try to tame the Wildcats in the exhibition home opener. No taming was done that night.

The Cats looked like a decent OVC team. Par for pre-season, I guess. The seasoned big men, both 7' plus, I remind you, Lukas Orbzut and Shegari Allyene, looked like true freshmen as they combined for 4 points and 4 rebounds against a team whose tallest starter was 6'6". Embarrassing. Have ye hope, though. The "real" true freshman, Jared Carter, from Scott Co. did look as though he might foot the bill this season. Don't quote me on this one, but I believe he had 8 pts, 7 rebounds and 3 blocked shots in 13 minutes of play. Also, he mixed it up with the opposition getting called for an "away from the ball" foul. This makes me happy. Having a big man that wasn't timid was on Tubby's wishlist for the 2005-2006 season and he got him without even knowing it.

RAAAAJON RONNNDOOOOOO!
The "Glove" still has it. Four steals and a remarkable alley oop! He is the real reason I even go to exhibition games. There have been very few basketball players I have purely enjoyed watching (Dennis Rodman, Kevin Johnson, Dan Abner, to name a few.), but this kid takes the cake. I find myself rarely sitting when he is in the game. Pure excitement.

I think we all had an excellent time at the bachelor party last weekend. I think the hotdogs we cooked up were the best dogs I have ever eaten. Thanks to Jonathon's aunt for hooking us up with the box seats at Keeneland. That was the cherry on the top, or was it the $130 exacta I hit on the Filly & Mare Turf Breeder's Cup race? Who knows?

Thanksgiving will be here shortly. Turkey lurkey! I have to fly to Greenwood/Spartansburg, SC for work next week as I am going to a vendor audit. Duane G. will be going with me, so we should have a dandy of a time. Have you heard? I'm getting married. We met with the preacher last week. He is a really cool guy-funny! I think he helped to put Beth and myself at ease about the ceremony. She wants us to face the congregation during the ceremony. I will try to fight this, but I am sure I will lose. That's life and love on Long Island........Pond!

Peacimus Maximus

P.S. Don't watch Blade Trinity. It sucks more than a vampire.