UFC Me

We have made it to the most boring part of the year. There are the remnants of the College Baseball World Series and as soon as Louisville is eliminated (unless they win) so will be all my interest in baseball for the rest of the season. I’ll take that back. You might catch me watching the Reds play when Homer Bailey is pitching. On Saturday, Brandon dutifully reminded me of how many days until the college football season begins. He said we were 76 days from the first of September. That, of course, was Saturday at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Buffalo Wild Wings was the same as always, yet, different. Excuse me while I elaborate.

I am used to the different types of crowds that congregate there for different sporting events. With UK basketball games, there is a sea of blue with a common cause. For college football, there is a vast array of colors determined by the television schedule. Good luck finding Waldo that day. For NFL games, there is the same array of colors, yet there is more trash-talking going on between the patrons. All of which makes me laugh. No one, unless you are sitting at my table, can guess who I am cheering for. NFL apparel is just too ugly for me to wear. I think they were the lone sponsor of Zubaz pants.

BW3’s has a slightly different feel when they are showing the UFC pay-per-views. There is occasional cheering when the pace of the fight gets heavy, but most of the time it is pretty quiet. There is zero—and I mean zero—trash-talking. Ever watch UFC? These guys aren’t always ripped, i.e. Chuck Liddell. Who knows who is an amateur mixed martial artist? Someone may take your trash-talking and shove it where you sit.

Brandon likes to point out that the sport requires no athletic ability. I retorted with the question of the last time you got in a fight or wrestled with someone (Joel, I swear we were tied 2-2) how did you feel after 45 seconds. Extremely winded? Seeing stars? A little dizzy? These guys fight for three 5-minute rounds. No way do I know anyone who could handle that without immense training. Don’t worry. He also considered Lance Armstrong to be a non-athelete.

Anyway, the UFC fights were crap. Pretty boring fights, except for the Clay Guida/Tyson Griffin fight. Imagine Scott Stapp from Creed fighting a younger, clean-cut, Ken Shamrock. Not a fight, I would say, but in the words of Captain Teneille on Most Extreme Elimination, “Well you’re wrong!” Really, though, the whole thing sucked. The main event between Okami and Franklin ended in a bogus decision for the American, Franklin, after the most boring fight ever. If two counter-strikers are billed together, skip it. They are both just sitting there waiting for the other to throw a punch. Snooze fest.

“Look man, I gotta go!” --Donny Baker