I Can Smell You, Friday. I Just Can't See You.

"When I die let my ashes float down the Green River
Let my soul roll on up to the Rochester dam
I'll be halfway to Heaven with Paradise waitin'
Just five miles away from wherever I am.

And daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg County
Down by the Green River where Paradise lay
Well, I'm sorry my son, but you're too late in asking
Mister Peabody's coal train has hauled it away "

--“Paradise” by John Prine

This is an oldie, but a goodie. John Prine is coming to the Lexington Opera House on February 16th and 17th. Fast Eddie Hazlette, a scratch golfer hailing from Paintsville, introduced Prine to me when I was young and quite impressionable at Morehead. He asked me to go to the Lexington show with him and his wife, but I looked for tickets and the venue said that none were available. If you aren’t familiar with John Prine, he is a Grammy winning folk singer. I am not that familiar with all of his music, but what I have heard, I definitely like.

We have a Colts/Bears Super Bowl coming at us in a couple of weeks. I am glad the Colts made it, finally, with Peyton Manning’s leadership. Anybody can knock him all they want, but he proved his worth on Sunday leading his team back from a 21-6 deficit after the first half to win 38-34 over the Patriots. You can’t argue what happened. Man, he looked solid. You will hear it here first during this edition of Da Pond Biznass. Super Bowl XLI will go down 31-14. Colts win.

I don’t want to take anything from Tom Brady. He played a great game. He is one bad mofo on the field, a proven quaterback. But, like the Highlander said, “There can be only one.”

Of all the coaches in the NFL, I think I despise Bill Belichick the most. First of all, the guy is a slob. He comes to games, games broadcast nationwide, wearing big-necked sweatshirts and looking like he just rolled out of bed. Secondly, he doesn’t seem to think good sportsmanship is important in football. After New England beat the Chargers, his team mocked Ladainian Tomlinson’s touchdown dance on his field after the game, which almost started a really ugly incident when LT took real offense to this gesture. Belichick saw nothing wrong with the act. Lastly, after Sunday’s game while players were crossing the field to shake the opponents hands, Manning tried to shake hands with Belichick. The coach just ignored him as he stormed across the field. Classless. Period.

Enough of that. Beth and I discovered a new restaurant a couple of weeks ago that ranks easily in *The Lexington Top Five. The Jean Farris Winery and Bistro is located on Old Richmond Road about five miles from Jacobsen Park. The setting is modern, but lacking in atmosphere. The food and wine, however, makes up for the missing ambience. Under the advice of a friend from work, we selected the Tempest (a blend of Tempranillo, Cabernet Sauvignon and Cabernet Franc) for dinner. It was probably the best local wine I have sampled. The bouquet alone was intoxicating. The taste was enough to make me want to drink my dinner. But, the menu told me not to. Every thing looked fie fie delishe.

We selected the crab cakes for an appetizer. They were pan-fried crispy around the edges and filled with actual crabmeat—not much filler and probably the best crab cakes I had ever eaten. We shared a frisee salad after the appetizer. Not sure what this was when ordering, we were surprised by the arrangement of garden weeds and fried pieces of batter involved in this creation. With peaches flanking the greenery, the toasted walnut vinegar dressing painted the most exquisite picture on the palate. Nice.

Next, it was time for the entrees. I had a filet prepared medium rare served on a smashed new potato topped with a mushroom merlot reduction sauce. The ornamental green beans were the centurions commissioned as flare. The beef was melt in your mouth delectable. Beth selected the Sweet Chili Glazed Salmon with coconut sticky rice and baby bok choy. The salmon was a little overcooked, but Beth said she preferred it prepared that way. The rice was my favorite part of the dish--sweet, but not too sweet. I took the salmon a long way. The bok choy was eye candy, only. Does anyone really eat bok choy?

For dessert, we shared a bourbon and pecan bread pudding. It was a real treat. The bread pudding was swimming in what almost seemed like a shot of bourbon mixed with syrup. Yes, after that dish, I was finished. Jean Farris Winery and Bistro is a definite must. Do it.

That was my audition to be a food critic. What do you think? And be honest, dammit!

*The Lexington Top 5
1. Jonathan at Gratz Park
2. Rossi's
3. Portofino
4. Jean Farris Winery and Bistro
5. Malone's

Honorable Mentions: The Mansion at Griffin Gate, Annabelle's

After watching UK suffer defeat on Saturday to Vandy at home and the loss last night to Georgia on the road after leading 13 at halftime and by 17 at one point, I snapped. I honestly think this team may be throwing games on purpose. That would be the only explanation as to some of their losses. When Stevenson lost the ball on the fast break near the end of the first half, a “You freakin’ goober!” spilled out of my consciousness and materialized into audible tones right there in my living room. I can’t honestly tell you the last time a called someone a goober before last night. But, this was after Bradley passed Stevenson the ball at the free throw line and it went through his hands and drilled him in the face. Nice hands, feet.

You will get one last rant from me. Jodie Meeks, all you had to do was block out the free throw shooter. Really, just one step in the lane in front of Sundiata Gaines with your arms extended and maybe defeat wouldn’t have been so close at hand. No, you had to be an enabler because you really enabled the Bulldogs to win the game. Turd.

Beth and Pop’s birthdays are next week. You had better let them know that you know. Peace from Da Pond!

Buckeyed and Busted

You have no idea how great I feel to be so wrong about something in all my life. At least 99.999% of the time, it physically pangs me to be wrong about something. I should be used to being wrong. I am wrong a lot. Yeah, I know it takes a big boy to admit it, but this time I will gladly say, “Yes, I am wrong!” And I will do this with enthusiasm. You see, what I am wrong about is a little college football bowl game that happened in a little town called Glendale, which is in a little state called Arizona.

There were two teams, one a little university from the state of Ohio and the other a little university from the state of Florida. Ah, crap…enough of the drama. I can’t hold it in anymore. FLORIDA kicked the shiz-nizzle out of OHIO STATE! And I was so wrong about it, but do I care? Not it the least. I just knew that the Buckeyes were going to stomp Florida. I was one of the biggest advocators for the OSU/Michigan rematch.

Aside explanation:
Yes, I was wrong about that one and that did make me mad. I didn’t think the Gators were half the team Michigan was. Imagine if Florida would have been beaten by Arkansas in the SEC Championship game. It was a close game to start with. Would Arkansas get a shot at Ohio State? The answer you are seeking is “Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.”

I was still convinced of the assured ass kicking even after the kickoff. Even when Florida marched down the field and scored, I thought OSU is still going to bring it. Then, it happened. I saw the person who I attest to as being the fastest man ever in college football, Ted Ginn Jr., was limping with a trainer back to the locker room. I told Brandon that this was not good. Ginn returned to the sideline about 20 minutes later with hopes of returning to the game, but by the end of the third quarter, he was on crutches. What did Ohio State have other than TG, Jr.? Don’t be so quick to say Antonio Pittman. Without TG, Jr., Florida’s speedy defense keyed on Pittman with vengeance. What about the other receivers? That didn’t matter as well. You remember the speedy defense of Florida? The pocket crumbled on Troy Smith time after time. He was sacked five times when he was only sacked 14 times all season. This team ended up with only 82 total yards of offense. I can’t go on any further. There is no excuse and no argument.

Homer: "We can eat for free because they think I am Krusty the Clown."
Marge: "I don't know, Homey..."
Homer: "Why don't you think it can work?"
Marge: "I didn't say it wouldn't work. I just think it's not a very honest thing to do."
Homer: "If we both agree, then why are we arguing?"

After the final touchdown in the first half, Brandon’s buddy Tony called this conversation ensued:

Brandon: “Yeah?”
Tony: “Three words for you.”
Brandon: “Okay?”
Tony: “Tim F’ing Tebow”

What else could you say? Tony said it all. Congratulations, Florida. We will see you in Commonwealth Stadium sometime this fall. And to you Ohio State, UK played Florida closer. Nya, Nya! THHHBBBBPPPPTT!

I hope everyone’s resolutions are going well. I read some good ones from Chase the other day. Mine are the same as usual. I am going to be a nicer and a more understanding person. I think everyone should add that to their New Year’s resolutions. And the whole diet thing. I am working on a diet right now, but it is not necessarily a diet for me to lose weight. My goal is to just eat better. I am sure there will be some weight loss involved and I am okay with that. I will try to keep you updated on how that is going.

Has anyone been watching UK basketball? Honestly, I think the Cats are playing far better now than at this point last year. I think it does not have as much to do with Tubby as the other factors involved. I think the factors are the team being more mature as a group and their mental aspect, the unheralded group of freshmen defining their roles with the team earlier in the season, and the force that is Randolph Morris. If you have watched Morris play in the last five or six games you could equate him to Dad Randall-El playing with us on the tough courts of Lost Creek circa 1994. Dominant is the word you are looking for. UK has a good chance of being undefeated through January. There will be a tough game at Georgia and an even tougher game with Tennessee (with Uncle David's boy, Lofton) at home to deal with, but I can see UK coming through it unscathed. Then, no doubt, will they securely be in the top 25. Go Cats!

Have any of you noticed a change in Lexington, lately? You can breathe. The final remnants of the holiday shopping season have dissipated. It is no longer too congested for a venture to the Hamburg areas for shopping or dining. Free at least. Free at least. Thank God, the Almighty, we are free at least until next December.

And speaking of trips to that area. Last Friday night, I ventured over to Harry’s with Beth for some victuals. Upon turning into the parking lot, some douche in a Chevy Avalanche was in the middle of the entrance. I thought I had enough room to get by him, but I didn’t. I rode the curb like a surfer hanging ten. I thought it had definitely burst my front passenger side tire. We looked at it when I parked. It scuffed my rim nicely and tore a gash out of the sidewall, but it had not burst.

Saturday morning, I called the store where I purchased my tires. They said there was one tire, the same brand (Kumhos baby!) and size, in Lexington at their South Broadway location and the price would be $129.99 plus tax. Ouch! Better to be safe than sorry (sorry for the cliché, that is). We went over there to drop it off, then, we walked to Logan’s for lunch. During lunch, the manager called and said it was finished. He went on to say that lucky for me I had purchased the Tire Protection Plan when I purchased the tires. With the TPP, the price for the tire, mounting, and old tire disposal was only $48.15. I said in the best Matthew McConaughey’s character’s voice from Dazed and Confused, “Well, alright!” Lesson learned. Always buy the tire protection plan.

Bonus points are going to the first person to tell me who the character was. There are extra bonus points if you throw in a quote of your favorite lines he said. Even more bonus points if you tell me who was another Hollywood big shot in the movie that gets painted up. Holla!