A Letdown of Olympic Proportions

Aren't the Winter Olympics at Torino or Turin (...or whatever NBC has changed the name to today) quite the disappointment? I have never been more disgusted with them than what I am now. I think the United States has sent a bunch of apathetic idiots over there to compete in games that are for the sense of national pride and not so much for self-promotion. Needless to say, this round of Olympits, as Beth calls them, has left me quite soured.

Dillhole #1 Lindsey Jacobellis

To the naked eye, she appeared to be the young snowboardingcross queen. The sport looked like a motorcross on skis with Lindsey gunning the throttle.

To the trained Island Pond eye, she looked like a thirteen year old trapped in a twenty year old's body with her raging immaturity coming out in a backside grab with 60 degree fakey on the next to last jump. This was followed, of course, by her "eating it" as Sweden's Tanja Frieden scooted by her for the gold. Jacobellis' need for instant gratification could not be staved off until the last jump, where if she were to fall, she would have probably slid to the finish in first place.

Post race, Lindsey proceeded to lie about what happened by stating she did the maneuver to create stability--standard procedure. None of the other girls had to do this. Maybe, Lindsey has an inner ear problem. No. This was the worst part of the whole ordeal for me. A few hours later, she admitted she was caught up in doing so well. She just had to let the world know how great she was. Pathetic.

Dillhole #2 Johnny Weir

The self-proclaimed "man to beat" in men's figure skating wears a swan outfit? Yeah, this is true, but it is only part of the reason why he is getting trashed in my books.

When I saw his picture in the newspaper the day after he missed the bus, I thought it was a girl. I don't know how far this thought is from the truth, but Mr(s). Weir began with all his reasons why he sucked. Not really. Weir stated that his aura was MIA, inside he was black, and something about a bus. Translation, "I want to go shopping!"

The real reason this douchebag is slammed is because Weir embarked on his shopping excursion as soon as his mediocre scores were read from the judges. Not too classy and a tad bit sassy!

Maybe add a "Q" to his last name?

Don't lie. You were thinking it.

Dillhole #3 Bode Miller

We all saw this coming, didn't we? Yep, Bode Miller. The name says it all. This putz has done everything in his power to make himself appear to be the biggest jackass under the sun, bar none except Tony Stewart.

Before the Games even started, Bode was bragging on national television of his skiing under the influence from the excess he had partaken of the night before. After being chastised by his coaches and threatened with expulsion from the Winter Olympics by U.S. Olympic Committee members, Miller retracted his statements and said he didn't condone such activities. A few days later, he trashed Barry "U.S." Bonds and Lance Armstrong as dopers in the Rolling Stone magazine. Now, Miller is getting trashed in a bar and on my blog site!!!

The ning nong has successfully ruined all but one chance of salvaging a medal at the games in Turin, Italy. His last chance with Olympic gold will be Saturday night in the slalom. I am betting dollars against doughnut holes, Bode Miller chokes on his Miller High Life one more time just so he can say "I'm not very good, but, Damn, I'm slow."

Joel, thanks for your hospitality the other night. I really enjoyed myself. Your cat is a dingbat. It's too bad you live down in a hole on Knott's Berry Farm. Otherwise, we would do it more often. No, wait, it probably is a good thing you live in the hole! Catch youse on da flip!

"You Know I Am a Dreamer, But My Hearts of Gold"

Man, that's a great "Crue" song. It's running through my head right now. And let me guess, your's, too? Lucky!!! My favorite, though, is "Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)". To be an 80's hair band, their lyrics weren't too bad. And you know you slow danced at least once to this one....."Without You".

In a Lexington Herald Leader sports article, Tubby Smith said he told his team to treat this Wednesday's game with Georgia as the first game of the season.

"A clean slate..."

Yeah, right. Maybe he can convince his tired tribe of terribles that this will be the first game of the season, but not me. There's not enough grape Kool-Aid in Jonestown, Guyana to make me forget about the way this season has progressed.

"The only way to hold them accountable now," he said. "I guess we're going to reinvent or rejuvenate ourselves."

Does this mean Tubby is accepting the blame for the condition of the basketball program? Is he saying that maybe it is not Bubba Sparks and Saul Jr.'s (a.k.a. Rondo) fault? O-Tub also refers to his situation as "we're" and "ourselves". It sounds as if someone has a froggy in his pocket. How about you, Mr. Smith? Ribbit. He's just like any other sports coach under Mitch Barnhart, not held accountable for anything.

Joel and Alex, I am coming to see you guys Saturday after we watch UK's game at Mom and Dad's house, so get ready. Joel, whatever CD's you have of mine, i.e the Gray Goose Collection, David Alan Coe, and others, I am coming to get them.

Peace and Happy Valentines Day.

Blown Away

This is what Kentucky felt like after losing to Tennessee the other night. The headlines yesterday should have read "Local Boy Does Good". I think Chris Lofton dropped 31 on the Cats. He wasn't good enough for Tubby two years ago. He just lead his team, the Mason County Royals, to the state basketball championship at CorRUPPt Arena in 2004 and won. After that, he was named Mr. Kentucky Basketball. Now, he just stops by once a year to drop 20 points or so on UK. The "Mr. Kentucky Basketball" title never stopped Tubby from recruiting a player before. But maybe, he thought he might be getting another Josh Carrier or Brandon Stockton. What does Tubby really know?

Bullpoo for Some Bullpoo

**Flash**
The following article may hurt your feelings if you are a Seattle Seahawks fan. It is from my perception of the truth as I saw it. I will remind you that...
I AM NOT A STEELERS FAN!!!

All the sportswriters rooting for Seattle (i.e. Fox Sports' Kevin Hench, Brian Baldinger, and Aaron Schitz, sorry his last name is Schatz) are saying the referees were making all the big calls in Pittsburgh's favor. I watched this game with an unbiased eye--neither Steeler's, nor Seahawk fan am I--and to me, there were just as many questionable calls the other way. Can you all just get over it? Seriously, make all the excuses you can and then some, but the fact remains the Pittsburgh Steelers are the proud parents of the Vince Lombardi trophy for the year of 2006. All the crying and whimpering you pour out will do nothing to change the outcome of the game. It will only prolong your agony.

Ben Roethlisberger's running touchdown in the second quarter was good. After seeing no less than twenty instant replays, it was quite obvious the ball broke the plane of the goal line (The goal line is a three inch wide stripe. The invisible vertical line that extends from the goal line is not the edge inside the endzone. It is the edge facing the one yard line.) and before Ben's elbow made contact with the ground. This plane was definitely broken. If you think it wasn't, maybe, you were watching the lingerie bowl, instead. Darrel Jackson blatantly pushed off of Chris Hope's chest in the end zone to catch the TD pass from Hasselbeck, a.k.a. Brett Favre, Jr., which was called back. Ticky tack or no ticky tack, if the ref sees it he calls it.

The same goes with all the holding calls that were assessed against the Seahawks. All the replays showed the physical evidence. Blatant holds? No. They were holds nonetheless. I don't think that since it is a big game, you let minor penalties go by, especially if the penalties are called against your team.

Bottom line:
1). Mike Holmgren let his team down with poor play calling and clock management.
2). Matt Hasselbeck is an idiot quarterback (hence, the name Brett Favre, Jr.) who doesn't see the entire field. He has his favorite targets. It's a wonder how he hasn't set the league record for most interceptions thrown in a season.
3). The team as a whole broke down and committed several fundamental errors (i.e. holding, pushing off). Period.

"Bottom" Bottom line: Pittsburgh wins. Congrats.

On to worse topics. Kentucky suffered a serious defeat at the hands of Florida this weekend. This game literally made me sick to my stomach. After a solid first half performance, going to the locker room up four agaist the #7-ranked Gators, the Cats orchestrated a 15 point loss. There were some horrible calls and no calls by the officials, which kept Billy D's crew close, in the first half. UK should have had a 15-point lead at halftime. But, it doesn't matter when in the second half Tubby reverts his offense back to his stand around staple. I think within ten minutes of game clock into the second half, UK was down fourteen points. This was when I became ill at my stomach and spent the next four game minutes in the bathroom--could have been the Mexican pizza from Toxic Bell that I ate for dinner. When I came out of the stinky sanctuary, UK was down 22 points. Hooray.

UK seems to be in a race with Louisville (defeated by Cincinnati yesterday) to see who can be the first declared not elligible for the NCAA tournament. I say good luck to both teams.

I would like to wish very Happy Birthdays to Sooper Trooper Jeol and Sooper Stoodent L-Beezy! I hope you guys have great ones tomorrow. Oh yeah, a belated Happy Birthday to Daddio and the wifey. Don't worry, I remembered to wish them Happy Birthdays via other mediums.

I will leave you with one of my favorite party/anytime appetizer foods. It's good by itself, covered with jam, or dipped in ketchup or mustard or anything you like. I was told during the Super Bowl, it tasted like gravy and biscuits. Huh, well, alright!

1 pound of ground sausage
1 8 oz. package of cream cheese (I used low fat, could you tell?)
2 8 count cans of crescent (not croissant) rolls (One can for each pastry)

1) Brown the sausage in a skillet. Drain and while still hot, mix with the cream cheese until thoroughly mixed.

2) Lay out four crescent triangles the way they are packaged, in a rectangle. It works best if you overlap them and pinch them together at the seams. (I flour the cookie sheet I am using to keep the crescent rolls from sticking) Roll out the laid out crescent roll triangles with a floured rolling pin until it is about 1/8 of an inch thick. This is the bottom half of the pastry. Once done, do the other four crescent roll triangles the same way as the first four for the top of the pastry..

3) Once both are rolled out, spread the sausage cream cheese mixture on one of the pastry halves, filling it out close to, but not to the edge. (Make sure you only use half of the sausage cream cheese mixture so you will have more for the other can of crescent rolls.)

4) Lay the other half of the pastry down on top of it and pinch it together around the edges.

Repeat the steps 2 through 4 for the other can of crescent rolls.

Once you have the two different sausage/cream cheese/crescent rolls together, bake at 375 for fifteen minutes or until the top of the pastry is golden brown. Cut into inch and a half slices across the pastry.

It is a nameless creation, so if you can come up with a good name for it let me know.

"Clerks II-The Passion of the Clerks" is coming out this year.

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!" --Dante Hicks from Clerks