Buckeyed and Busted

You have no idea how great I feel to be so wrong about something in all my life. At least 99.999% of the time, it physically pangs me to be wrong about something. I should be used to being wrong. I am wrong a lot. Yeah, I know it takes a big boy to admit it, but this time I will gladly say, “Yes, I am wrong!” And I will do this with enthusiasm. You see, what I am wrong about is a little college football bowl game that happened in a little town called Glendale, which is in a little state called Arizona.

There were two teams, one a little university from the state of Ohio and the other a little university from the state of Florida. Ah, crap…enough of the drama. I can’t hold it in anymore. FLORIDA kicked the shiz-nizzle out of OHIO STATE! And I was so wrong about it, but do I care? Not it the least. I just knew that the Buckeyes were going to stomp Florida. I was one of the biggest advocators for the OSU/Michigan rematch.

Aside explanation:
Yes, I was wrong about that one and that did make me mad. I didn’t think the Gators were half the team Michigan was. Imagine if Florida would have been beaten by Arkansas in the SEC Championship game. It was a close game to start with. Would Arkansas get a shot at Ohio State? The answer you are seeking is “Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.”

I was still convinced of the assured ass kicking even after the kickoff. Even when Florida marched down the field and scored, I thought OSU is still going to bring it. Then, it happened. I saw the person who I attest to as being the fastest man ever in college football, Ted Ginn Jr., was limping with a trainer back to the locker room. I told Brandon that this was not good. Ginn returned to the sideline about 20 minutes later with hopes of returning to the game, but by the end of the third quarter, he was on crutches. What did Ohio State have other than TG, Jr.? Don’t be so quick to say Antonio Pittman. Without TG, Jr., Florida’s speedy defense keyed on Pittman with vengeance. What about the other receivers? That didn’t matter as well. You remember the speedy defense of Florida? The pocket crumbled on Troy Smith time after time. He was sacked five times when he was only sacked 14 times all season. This team ended up with only 82 total yards of offense. I can’t go on any further. There is no excuse and no argument.

Homer: "We can eat for free because they think I am Krusty the Clown."
Marge: "I don't know, Homey..."
Homer: "Why don't you think it can work?"
Marge: "I didn't say it wouldn't work. I just think it's not a very honest thing to do."
Homer: "If we both agree, then why are we arguing?"

After the final touchdown in the first half, Brandon’s buddy Tony called this conversation ensued:

Brandon: “Yeah?”
Tony: “Three words for you.”
Brandon: “Okay?”
Tony: “Tim F’ing Tebow”

What else could you say? Tony said it all. Congratulations, Florida. We will see you in Commonwealth Stadium sometime this fall. And to you Ohio State, UK played Florida closer. Nya, Nya! THHHBBBBPPPPTT!

I hope everyone’s resolutions are going well. I read some good ones from Chase the other day. Mine are the same as usual. I am going to be a nicer and a more understanding person. I think everyone should add that to their New Year’s resolutions. And the whole diet thing. I am working on a diet right now, but it is not necessarily a diet for me to lose weight. My goal is to just eat better. I am sure there will be some weight loss involved and I am okay with that. I will try to keep you updated on how that is going.

Has anyone been watching UK basketball? Honestly, I think the Cats are playing far better now than at this point last year. I think it does not have as much to do with Tubby as the other factors involved. I think the factors are the team being more mature as a group and their mental aspect, the unheralded group of freshmen defining their roles with the team earlier in the season, and the force that is Randolph Morris. If you have watched Morris play in the last five or six games you could equate him to Dad Randall-El playing with us on the tough courts of Lost Creek circa 1994. Dominant is the word you are looking for. UK has a good chance of being undefeated through January. There will be a tough game at Georgia and an even tougher game with Tennessee (with Uncle David's boy, Lofton) at home to deal with, but I can see UK coming through it unscathed. Then, no doubt, will they securely be in the top 25. Go Cats!

Have any of you noticed a change in Lexington, lately? You can breathe. The final remnants of the holiday shopping season have dissipated. It is no longer too congested for a venture to the Hamburg areas for shopping or dining. Free at least. Free at least. Thank God, the Almighty, we are free at least until next December.

And speaking of trips to that area. Last Friday night, I ventured over to Harry’s with Beth for some victuals. Upon turning into the parking lot, some douche in a Chevy Avalanche was in the middle of the entrance. I thought I had enough room to get by him, but I didn’t. I rode the curb like a surfer hanging ten. I thought it had definitely burst my front passenger side tire. We looked at it when I parked. It scuffed my rim nicely and tore a gash out of the sidewall, but it had not burst.

Saturday morning, I called the store where I purchased my tires. They said there was one tire, the same brand (Kumhos baby!) and size, in Lexington at their South Broadway location and the price would be $129.99 plus tax. Ouch! Better to be safe than sorry (sorry for the cliché, that is). We went over there to drop it off, then, we walked to Logan’s for lunch. During lunch, the manager called and said it was finished. He went on to say that lucky for me I had purchased the Tire Protection Plan when I purchased the tires. With the TPP, the price for the tire, mounting, and old tire disposal was only $48.15. I said in the best Matthew McConaughey’s character’s voice from Dazed and Confused, “Well, alright!” Lesson learned. Always buy the tire protection plan.

Bonus points are going to the first person to tell me who the character was. There are extra bonus points if you throw in a quote of your favorite lines he said. Even more bonus points if you tell me who was another Hollywood big shot in the movie that gets painted up. Holla!

There and Back

I made it back to The States alive, with no virus or flu-like symptoms. The cruise was good times, but it was not exactly as fun as what I experienced on my first cruise. I guess the first cruise sort of set the standard for the rest of all cruises. I am not saying that I did not enjoy myself. I think Beth has as couple of pictures of me that show I am enjoying myself, maybe, too much. The ship (Jewel of the Seas) was a relatively new boat, as it was built in 2004. The décor was not suitable for Disco Stu, so I was happy. It actually looked pretty swank. Casino, what?!?!?

We left Ft. Lauderdale on Sunday afternoon. Our first destination was Key West. The scene was tropic and the weather was excellent. We walked around the town for a couple of hours and shopped for souvenirs. After a couple of hours of this, we ended up at Sloppy Joe’s Bar on Duval. Duval Street is where it all goes down. I had a couple of Yeunglings and some crazy nachos that had Sloppy Joe stuff (a.k.a. Manwich) on it. I had to ask the bartender, who had been there for a couple of years, if the Real World Key West cast ever came in there. She said a couple of times, but the manager wouldn’t let the underage cast members drink so they didn’t stay long. I had to ask, sorry. The strange surprise on the island is the population of wild chickens that are everywhere. They walk down the sidewalk with you. They roost beside the fire hydrants. They hang out with the stray cats in the alleys. Chickens.

The next destination was Cozumel. Put Tiajuana on an island and there you go. Beth and I had been here before so we decided to just roll off the ship and eat a late lunch at Pancho’s Backyard. We had eaten at Pancho’s other restaurant on the other end of Cozumel and we really dug their queso con salsa verde (cheese and green salsa dip for the Non-Spanish speaking followers) and their not-from-a-mix margaritas. We figured it was worth another shot. The grub was good, but the margaritas (or I should say the lime flavored tequila shots) were harsh and too grande for me to drink two of them. However, I knocked down two fishbowls and a Tecate and a Sol. Hey, I was just trying to help out the local economy. This lead to an ill-advised purchase at a jewelry shop. For details, ask Beth.

***RANT ALERT***

If you have ever been to Mexico, I am sure you have encountered the pushy street vendors. I, personally, have decided not to return to Mexico due to the irritation these people provide. The country of Mexico has a great natural resource in the beauty of their land and their native traditions. Why does it have to be ruined by their attitudes and sales tactics towards tourists? Honestly, I would be more inclined to purchase products peddled by the vendors if they didn’t run at me, grab my arm, or yell at me. I am not sure who advised them on their sales procedure. Maybe, it was used car salesmen. Ba-Dum, Chhhh!

Costa Maya was the third destination. It was a Lee City-sized Cozumel with a pier. So, see above.

The last port of call was Georgetown, Grand Cayman. Beth and I had been here before. We walked around the town and shopped. The people there were really nice. A Margaritaville had recently opened. Joel, holla, if ya hear me! We had a couple of cheeseburgers in paradise and rolled back to the boat.

After a day at sea, we sailed back into Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday morning. We changed a couple of flights to get back to Lexington earlier. While in Atlanta waiting for our flight (delayed flight, of course), I ran into a old college buddy’s mother, who happened to be sharing our flight back to Lexington. It was none other than the mother of one-half of NWA:TNA’s The Franchised Naturals, Andy “The Wild Child” Douglas. It was really great to catch up with her. I probably hadn’t seen her since I was in school at Morehead. Small world, indeed.

I heard Ampletime was back on stage this past weekend at Avio in Lexington, I couldn’t find anyone to go with me, so I sat this one out. I’ll catch them next time, hopefully.

Florida or Michigan? Hasn’t that been the question for a week? I would say Michigan and you know I am not a Michigan homer. They played number one, OSU, to a three-point game at OSU two weeks ago. And that alone, tells me they are at least number two. If the game was played at a neutral site or even at Ann Arbor, who knows what would have happened? But, in reconsideration, what would happen if there would have been a rematch and Michigan won? Two number ones? What if Florida beats OSU and Michigan destroys USC in the Rose Bowl? I am not saying that it will happen nor will I predict the remote chances of it happening. But, what if?