I'm Awful, I Know.

Yeah, it has been too long. That line is getting a little redundant and I am sure you are getting tired of hearing it. I just seem to be so busy anymore that by the time I get a chance to write a little something, I’m just not feeling it. I hate to force it. This time, since it has been so long, I will actually have a bunch of mishmash.

I can start back with the week after the LSU football game. Not much to report. Other than the stupid stuff I have been doing in the past few weeks. By stupid stuff, I mean injuring myself by not thinking things out. I was making a pot of chili and I was dicing up a fresh jalapeno pepper to add to the mix. I had washed my hands at least four times between then and bedtime when I was taking out my contacts. It didn’t matter. I know what pepper spray feels like, now. No resisting arrest for me. Stupid…more of that later.

That weekend was the Florida game. The tailgating was pretty cool with the masses walking by our tailgating spot to go to the library where ESPN’s College Gameday was filming. We saw some funny signs and t-shirts. The funniest one read, “Tim Tebow rhymes with douche bag.” Clever. It had to be a UK student that thought that on up. There was a pregnant lady tailgating beside us with a sign in the shape of an arrow. She held it pointing down to her belly. The sign said “Hey Kirk (referring to Kirk Herbstreit, of course) sign my future Wildcat!” And closer to gametime, she came back showing us where Kirk actually signed her stomach. Lunacy.

David W. and DK stopped by our tailgating spot on the way to the game. It was good to see those guys. Other than that, not much excitement was going on. I retained all my chest hair, anyway. The game was tense. Beth almost killed some guy. Long story. Ask her if you want details. I will say this, I always thought if Beth started a fight with some guy I would have to finish it. No, now, I think she could handle her own. UK lost. Douche Bag made Kentucky look very JV-ish.

That following week I was sort of busy getting ready for the fall fishing trip. A few of us met on the Lost Creek Plantation that Friday night so we could head out early Saturday morning. A couple of the crew, well, at least one person “dadn’t” (yeah, I said it) understand what early means and 8 a.m. means 9:30 a.m.

We made it to our cabins on Cherokee Lake around noon, just in time to watch the UK-Mississippi State debacle. The first beer was opened around 1 p.m. The Breeder’s Cup races I wanted to watch started around 2 p.m. I had spread about $60 across 5 races. UK’s game was over around 5 p.m. Eighth beer opened shortly thereafter. I didn’t win a single bet on any of the races. The fifth of Jim Beam Black Label was opened about 6 p.m. I will clarify this upfront, when the night was over just a little past the neck of the bottle was emptied.

Later on that evening after a few games of Texas Hold ‘Em, (not sure whose idea it was, could have been mine, I am just not pointing any fingers) my cousin Jarrod and I decided to arm wrestle. (I was on the right in the picture.) Remember earlier when I told you about getting hurt doing stupid stuff, well, this falls directly in that category. I was at a disadvantage from the get-go. When we got our grip, I was already in a Wolverine Wrist Lock where my hand was already bent backwards. When we started, instead of trying to pull my arm over the normal way, he was pulling towards himself as well. Doomed. Then, everyone in the cabin heard something pop. My arm. So, I just let it go. It tingled immediately then I couldn’t move it without pain. After playing three more games of Hold ‘Em, I decided to take a bunch of ibuprofen go to bed. When I woke the next morning, my arm felt a little better, but I couldn’t cast with it to fish or swing a golf club. My only options were to stay in Tennessee and drink or go home and heal. For the first time, I made the right decision. I headed home.

The drive home was painful. Every time I had to shift gears, the pressure I put on my elbow brought great pain. That was the longest three and a half hours of my life. Long story short, I went to the doctor the next day and she thought I had just sprained my elbow and wrist simultaneously. Don’t worry, it is feeling much better now. I would say I am at 90 percent. That’s my excuse for not posting more often, yeah.

We traveled to see the in-laws the following weekend. It was a really fun time. My nieces are growing like weeds. Emma cracks me up because watching her helps me see what Beth was like as a pre-adolescent girl. I am sure the way Emma acts isn't far off from Beth. Dennis and Jo Anne could probably confirm this for me. My niece Paige is so much bigger than the last time I saw her, which was the time when I held a door up for Dennis and Chris while they outsmarted the doorframe. Man, that was times. I also got to eat at my favorite wing joint, Quaker Steak and Lube.

Excited for the basketball season? I am. Well, I was…until the meltdown in the Bluegrass. There was a lot of grief when Charlotte’s Web or Gardner-Webb or whoever it was that thrashed the Cats last Wednesday. Billy Gillispie took the heat for the loss. I went on record two weeks ago saying I am not a Billy G fan. In my opinion he is another Tubby—an unproven coach with one team making a run in the NCAA Tournament. Had anyone honestly heard of Billy G two years ago. I’ll bet you heard of Acie Law IV before you hear of the G Man. Whatever, I don’t think we will be buying season tickets next year. A little early to say? Maybe.

I was a bachelor this weekend with Beth in Gatlinburg on a golf trip. Friday night I visited Brandon and his family in Frankfort. We hustled back to Lexington on Saturday to watch the football game at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was packed so we went to Harry's. The football Cats dropped it on Vandy in Nashville this past weekend in what seemed like the longest game ever. Both teams looked like OVC also-rans. There were penalties and injuries all over the field. Nasty football at best. The Cats were lucky to come out on top. With Beth in Gatlinburg on a golf trip with girlfriends, I had a few people over after the game. We had times. That’s about it.

I am looking forward to the Georgia game this weekend. I may make a huge pot of chili to bring in this cold weather. UFC on Saturday night. I will have to roll in to Buffalo Wild Wings a little early to get a good seat Saturday night. Come over and I will save you a spot. See you around.

P.S. Jess, I apologize for not calling you on your birthday. I hope you had a great one!

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

And I will say it again. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” Yep, little brother west of Lexington has slipped straight out of the ranks of the AP Top 25. This is not a huge surprise to me. I knew something smelled fishy after the Cards let Middle Tennessee State score 40+ points against them the second game of the season. The sad part is their coach, Steve Kragthorpe, is probably to blame. Bobby Petrino left a talented crew of players on the roster and a preseason top-10 ranking. The defense was never that awesome, but this year, it down right stinks. I honestly hope they pull the rest of the season together to finish respectable, as long as they don’t beat WVU.

The word on the street is Louisville fans are calling for Kragthorpe’s head, a la UK fans over Orlando ”Tubby” Smith. Can’t say I would blame them. If the trend continues, it would be like running a Ferrari into the ditch. Like I said before, Petrino left UofL in good standing just like Rick Pitino left UK’s basketball team in good standing. We’ll see what goes down at NC State.

And since we're talking about college football, we might as well get this out of the way. What about those Cats? Yep, everyone doubted them before the UofL game. “I just hope we have a good showing.” (Yeah, that was myself five hours before game time.) “I don’t think we stand a chance.” (Guys tailgating beside us.) During the first half, people in front of us were not cheering. Some one called them assholes and told them to get up and cheer for the Cats or next time they should stay at home on the couch. (That was me.) Why pay that much money to just sit there during a game like that? Honestly, our seats are okay, but the view on ESPN Classics is much better. But, then again, they might have attended the game so they wouldn’t have to listen to Bill “I wish I could win one for the Gipper” Curry.

The Cats brought it home and made the AP Top-25 poll. I think this was the first time in the AP Top-25 since the 1983 season. Then, they rolled into Fayetteville, Arkansas and handed McFadden and crew a beatdown courtesy of Andre Woodson, Trevard Lindley, and true-freshman, Derrick Locke. They did look good. Plus, they proved the UofL game wasn't a fluke. I can’t remember the game announcers' names, but Dude, were they ever in love with McFadden and Arkansas. This was only short-lived. By the end of the third quarter, I think they wanted their daughters to marry Andre Woodson. Feeling the love now, are you? 14th in the AP Poll this week. Nice.

The joke that sits beside Kirk Herbstreit on ESPN Gameday, Lee Corso, said two weeks ago that UK had no chance of beating Louisville. This week after the Cats beat Arkansas, Lee said that UK was the team to watch in the SEC. Herbstreit did pick us against UofL. Colin Cowherd has picked UK in two huge games this year. He picked the Cats to beat UofL and Florida. So far, he is one for two. Go Cats.

UK plays Florida Atlantic this weekend. It is an early game, so I am assuming the tailgating will start around 9 a.m. I think we are going to do some bacon and eggs on the grill. Sounds good, huh?

This weekend Beth and I rolled east to St. Albans to see her parents and family. I scored some long awaited birthday gifts Friday night from them. I snagged an awesome grilling apron with nothing less than, “J-Delicious” embroidered on the front. It has a pocket for a canned or bottled beverage of your choice. Dennis, I think I will choose the “Awesome Beverage”. It also has a bottle opener on a string and extra pockets in the front. Jealous, I know. They also gifted me with “A Taste of Home” grilling cookbook. Necessary. Thanks a bunch guys!

The next day, Beth’s brother Chris had signed us up to help him install a new French door on the back of his house. What was supposed to be a two-to-three hour job took pretty much all day. I recall helping Dad put the new door on the back of their house one day. I think it pretty much went the same way. Chris and Dennis did most of the work. I think I was there to look good and do some heavy lifting. The finish product looked really good and no one needs to know the what’s and how’s. It was a good time all in all.

Opening Day at Keeneland is next Friday. I have already put in my time-off request form and this morning it was signed. So, this is an open invitation for all those who wish to join me in playing the ponies. The first 3000 paid visitors get a free gift from Darley Jonabell Farms. Last year, we were given free tailgating chairs. The year before, I got a free hooded windbreaker. Who knows what you can score this year?

I am going to leave you guys with another pic of some of the dirt we do on the grill. This was at my buddy Sam's house after the Arlington Million back in August. (I hit the trifecta and $2 across on the 8-1 winner for about $170.) Try not to get too hungry looking at this. Give me call.