I'm Awful, I Know.

Yeah, it has been too long. That line is getting a little redundant and I am sure you are getting tired of hearing it. I just seem to be so busy anymore that by the time I get a chance to write a little something, I’m just not feeling it. I hate to force it. This time, since it has been so long, I will actually have a bunch of mishmash.

I can start back with the week after the LSU football game. Not much to report. Other than the stupid stuff I have been doing in the past few weeks. By stupid stuff, I mean injuring myself by not thinking things out. I was making a pot of chili and I was dicing up a fresh jalapeno pepper to add to the mix. I had washed my hands at least four times between then and bedtime when I was taking out my contacts. It didn’t matter. I know what pepper spray feels like, now. No resisting arrest for me. Stupid…more of that later.

That weekend was the Florida game. The tailgating was pretty cool with the masses walking by our tailgating spot to go to the library where ESPN’s College Gameday was filming. We saw some funny signs and t-shirts. The funniest one read, “Tim Tebow rhymes with douche bag.” Clever. It had to be a UK student that thought that on up. There was a pregnant lady tailgating beside us with a sign in the shape of an arrow. She held it pointing down to her belly. The sign said “Hey Kirk (referring to Kirk Herbstreit, of course) sign my future Wildcat!” And closer to gametime, she came back showing us where Kirk actually signed her stomach. Lunacy.

David W. and DK stopped by our tailgating spot on the way to the game. It was good to see those guys. Other than that, not much excitement was going on. I retained all my chest hair, anyway. The game was tense. Beth almost killed some guy. Long story. Ask her if you want details. I will say this, I always thought if Beth started a fight with some guy I would have to finish it. No, now, I think she could handle her own. UK lost. Douche Bag made Kentucky look very JV-ish.

That following week I was sort of busy getting ready for the fall fishing trip. A few of us met on the Lost Creek Plantation that Friday night so we could head out early Saturday morning. A couple of the crew, well, at least one person “dadn’t” (yeah, I said it) understand what early means and 8 a.m. means 9:30 a.m.

We made it to our cabins on Cherokee Lake around noon, just in time to watch the UK-Mississippi State debacle. The first beer was opened around 1 p.m. The Breeder’s Cup races I wanted to watch started around 2 p.m. I had spread about $60 across 5 races. UK’s game was over around 5 p.m. Eighth beer opened shortly thereafter. I didn’t win a single bet on any of the races. The fifth of Jim Beam Black Label was opened about 6 p.m. I will clarify this upfront, when the night was over just a little past the neck of the bottle was emptied.

Later on that evening after a few games of Texas Hold ‘Em, (not sure whose idea it was, could have been mine, I am just not pointing any fingers) my cousin Jarrod and I decided to arm wrestle. (I was on the right in the picture.) Remember earlier when I told you about getting hurt doing stupid stuff, well, this falls directly in that category. I was at a disadvantage from the get-go. When we got our grip, I was already in a Wolverine Wrist Lock where my hand was already bent backwards. When we started, instead of trying to pull my arm over the normal way, he was pulling towards himself as well. Doomed. Then, everyone in the cabin heard something pop. My arm. So, I just let it go. It tingled immediately then I couldn’t move it without pain. After playing three more games of Hold ‘Em, I decided to take a bunch of ibuprofen go to bed. When I woke the next morning, my arm felt a little better, but I couldn’t cast with it to fish or swing a golf club. My only options were to stay in Tennessee and drink or go home and heal. For the first time, I made the right decision. I headed home.

The drive home was painful. Every time I had to shift gears, the pressure I put on my elbow brought great pain. That was the longest three and a half hours of my life. Long story short, I went to the doctor the next day and she thought I had just sprained my elbow and wrist simultaneously. Don’t worry, it is feeling much better now. I would say I am at 90 percent. That’s my excuse for not posting more often, yeah.

We traveled to see the in-laws the following weekend. It was a really fun time. My nieces are growing like weeds. Emma cracks me up because watching her helps me see what Beth was like as a pre-adolescent girl. I am sure the way Emma acts isn't far off from Beth. Dennis and Jo Anne could probably confirm this for me. My niece Paige is so much bigger than the last time I saw her, which was the time when I held a door up for Dennis and Chris while they outsmarted the doorframe. Man, that was times. I also got to eat at my favorite wing joint, Quaker Steak and Lube.

Excited for the basketball season? I am. Well, I was…until the meltdown in the Bluegrass. There was a lot of grief when Charlotte’s Web or Gardner-Webb or whoever it was that thrashed the Cats last Wednesday. Billy Gillispie took the heat for the loss. I went on record two weeks ago saying I am not a Billy G fan. In my opinion he is another Tubby—an unproven coach with one team making a run in the NCAA Tournament. Had anyone honestly heard of Billy G two years ago. I’ll bet you heard of Acie Law IV before you hear of the G Man. Whatever, I don’t think we will be buying season tickets next year. A little early to say? Maybe.

I was a bachelor this weekend with Beth in Gatlinburg on a golf trip. Friday night I visited Brandon and his family in Frankfort. We hustled back to Lexington on Saturday to watch the football game at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was packed so we went to Harry's. The football Cats dropped it on Vandy in Nashville this past weekend in what seemed like the longest game ever. Both teams looked like OVC also-rans. There were penalties and injuries all over the field. Nasty football at best. The Cats were lucky to come out on top. With Beth in Gatlinburg on a golf trip with girlfriends, I had a few people over after the game. We had times. That’s about it.

I am looking forward to the Georgia game this weekend. I may make a huge pot of chili to bring in this cold weather. UFC on Saturday night. I will have to roll in to Buffalo Wild Wings a little early to get a good seat Saturday night. Come over and I will save you a spot. See you around.

P.S. Jess, I apologize for not calling you on your birthday. I hope you had a great one!

I Forgot to Tie My Shoes on Thursday

Yeah, that's how busy I have been. How goes it ladies and gents? I think I saw all 5 of my faithful readers some point and time over the past weekend. I think the problem was that not all of you were together at the same time. I will give you a quick rundown what events transpired over the past week.

Last Thursday, I broke out the grill for some chicken and ribs and such in preparation to watch the UK/South Carolina game. It was a not-to-often SEC Thursday night game. Sam came over to handicap the races at Keeneland the next day and to watch the game. Since my in-laws were going to Keeneland with us on Friday, they were on their way to Lexington from St. Albans. Game time.

The food was on. The game was on. The Cats weren’t on. They looked ragged. Andre’ Woodson looked ragged. For the most part the entire offensive unit looked like trash. The O-line was missing blocking assignments and they were letting SC’s defenders pour through like a sieve. The defense on the other hand looked like it could hold its own. They looked like a potential top-10 defensive unit, especially in the third quarter.

For the offense, it was turnover after turnover. Two of which were returned for touchdowns by SC’s Norwood. It was embarrassing to say the least. Woodson helped the most in making the team look undeserving. Of course, I always said Kentucky’s top-10 ranking wasn’t accurate, but my statement was based on the misgivings of the defensive squad, not UK’s effective offensive unit. They went flip-mode on me. I guess that shows us was UK could be capable of if both sides of the ball were on their A-game.

I am still optimistic about the team. They have actually over-shot my goals for them at this point in the season. I wanted them to be at least 4-2 going into this three game homestretch with LSU, Florida, and Mississippi State. They are 5-1. I wanted them to be close to the top-25 in ranking, if not in the top-25. They carry a 17 ranking. I think we can go 2-1 over this 3-game stand. LSU might pack an arse whooping back home to Baton Rouge with them. Florida definitely needs to take one back to Gainesville. Mississippi State…if we don’t give them one, it will be all for naught, anyway.

GO CATS! Tailgating starts at 8:30 a.m. I think we are going to do some pancakes and sausage on the grill. Oh yeah, I knew we would have some takers.

Sorry to digress. Friday morning, I introduced the heaven that is Chick-Fil-A breakfast to Dennis and Jo-Anne. They were not disappointed. We cleaned up and rolled over to Keeneland. It was a little rainy until about the time of the first post. We had a great time playing the ponies. We didn’t have any big winners, but we turned in a few tickets. I won a couple of times at Clocker’s Corner Bar. The Crowns and Coke were outstanding. Darley let us down on the free gifts this year—cheap plastic tumblers with a really dark picture of a horse on the side. Yeah, not as cool as the chairs we scored last year.

Since Beth and her parents left a few races early, I stayed at the track with Sam since he would give me a ride to the house afterwards. On our way out of Keeneland walking through the barns, Sam remembered that he read in The Daily Racing Form, Curlin, winner of the Preakness and Jockey Club Gold Cup(both Grade I’s) was stabled there. We decided to go looking for Steve Asmussen’s barn. We found it in no time. There was a big guy sitting in front of the entrance to the barn. Sam asked if this barn was Asmussen’s and the barn bouncer(?) said it was. We asked him if we could see Curlin. His reply was that Curlin was eating. Sam asked him which horse was Curlin. He nodded to the horse directly behind him. It was a tremendous looking horse, a muscled, chestnut colt with a white blaze running down his nose.

I still wasn’t sure that it was Curlin since we couldn’t see his nameplate on his bridle. When Sam dropped me off at the house, he said he would look him up on the old world wide interweb. I got a call from him about an hour or so later. Curlin confirmed. The day was already a great day. That call made it an excellent day for a horseracing fan such as myself. Goodtimes.

We killed some NY Strips and ribeyes on the grill for dinner with baked potatoes and baked beans. Yes, some of the baked beans I made for the family reunion. And speaking of that, what a great time we had. I think it was the funnest reunion I have ever been to. The food was great. There were some great cornhole games played and yours truly along with 899’s help started the largest wiffle ball game ever played, I’m sure. I just wished that I wasn’t out-drafted. My Uncle David was getting three picks to my one pick. This was evident after the top of the first when they took the field. Where we had about 6 outfielders, they had 12. I figure they had to overload if they wanted to beat us.

Later that night, Joel, Alex, Laura, and Adam came over to hang out. Joel even talked Aaron Epperson into coming over. We had a great time garaging it. It was a nice night after the heat of the day. According to T.G. Shuck, that was probably going to be the end of the heat for this year. Joel and I tried to save the world of the uninitiated, like Jonathan, from the evils of the Covenant and the Flood, but it got too late. Don’t worry, we saved the world the next day.

I have committed myself to the fall fishing trip even though this almost guarantees me no chance to bet on the Breeder’s Cup races that weekend, let alone watch them. I will be heading down to Cherokee Lake on the 26th, which is the Friday of that week. Give me a shout if you need a ride. Remember to cheer for the Cats on Saturday. 3:30 p.m. on CBS if you don’t have a ticket. Werd.

DK Slayin' Em with the Magical Sewed-On Winky

After taking two days off of work at the beginning of the week, the weekend is already knocking on the door. And you are darn tootin’ I’m going to let it in. Memorial Day weekend means a three day weekend for me and that's allllllright! Maybe, I can hit up a few cookouts this weekend. You guys know how much I’m into cookouts.

The fishing trip was uneventful. It was your run-of-the-mill May fishing trip. There was a little bit of fitching, little bit of goofing, and a little bit of cold beerin’. Joel, how many beers did we drink? A couple a piece? Yeah, that’s about right. Joey Joe and I successfully managed to be the only two people at the Parkview Cabins other than the chronic golfers to not catch fish. But, it was not for lack of trying. We really gave it the old Island Pond try. One night I thought we were going to be eaten by a three-toed, green-eyed wook-a-lar. We heard it coming for us. We quietly reeled our lines in, ran up the bank, and hid in our cabin.

We even tried a little boat fishing. No soup. We threw our arms off with no results. Our catch to cast ratio wasn’t as high as Wild Will’s this time. We saw fish, but we just couldn’t catch them. I might take dynamite for bait next time.

The Preakness really made me sick to my stomach. I just knew Barbaro could be the right nag to win the Triple Crown. It was a really rough for me to see him break down in the opening eighth of the Pimlico dig. He was dying to run that race and had it not been for jockey Edgar Prado, Barbaro would have died running that race. Prado, being the veteran jockey, knew what was best for horse and handled the situation without a blink. I give a tip of my hat to Prado for his quick thinking.

Some good from the Preakness came in the form of an excellent coming out party for the Grade III Withers Stakes winner, Bernardini. I had this lightly raced horse in my “all horses starting with ‘B’” trifecta box. He looked really good coming down the stretch and won going away. I look for some good things to come out of this A.P. Indy colt this fall. You will probably see Bernardini in the 2007 Breeder’s Cup Classic at Churchill Downs.

I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend. If you go to Lost Creek, you will be there in time to get in on some fresh strawberries from the garden. Thanks for dinner and the fresh strawberries Tuesday afternoon, Mom. I’m off to Wing Zone tonight to try some new wings. It’s too bad I have to drive all the way across Lexington to cash in my *20 free wings certificate I won from the Chis Cross show on WLXG 1300 AM. Hasta luegos, chevatos!

*The question was, "Name two of the five female jockeys to ride a horse in the Kentucky Derby."

Anyone want to give it a try?

Yes the title of the post was very vague, but if you call me I will explain.

Dumbfounded

It really is quite amazing how much I learn about fishing in the short amount of time I spend with Uncle Dan on the lake. This guy has a solution for everything that arises while angling. Whether it concerns water clarity or bowel clarity, Dan has the answer. Just ask Dan the difference between monofilament and fluorocarbon fishing line. You will be all the more wise.

It also is really quite dumbfounding how priviledged I feel to even be in the same state as Uncle Ance. He may be the smartest man in his world. And he won't let you forget it. I mean he is so smart, he tells you your opinion. Thanks, Ance.

The fishing trip was quite non-eventful. We made a trip to the new BassPro Shop in Sevierville, Tennessee. Save your money because we will probably make a trip down there in May. It is only a 40 minute drive away. Yeah, I caught a couple of bass(the right way Bin Speeden). They weren't quite the size I had hoped for, but my efforts weren't totally in vain. I got sunburnt on Saturday and I am still peeling a little today. It's good to be home, though.

On to better news. UK played hard against UConn. I wasn't disappointed they lost, just glad they beat UAB. WVU lost a tough one to Texas. Duke went down last night to the hands of LSU. Good times. Gonzaga gave their game away to UCLA. Good times. And I know you shouldn't find joy in other's misery, but to see Adam Morrison on the floor crying like a sissy when there was still two seconds left on the clock and an opportunity to win? Guilty pleasure. I am still going with UConn to win it all. They have an easy walk their next two games: Washington and the George Mason/Wichita St. winner.

I think I hear horses running. I'll give you my early prediction for the Kentucky Derby. John Ward's Strong Contender(sired out of Maria's Mon and purchased at Keeneland for $800K) will be in the money, if he is eligible. Edgar Prado has been up on his only two times out. Strong Contender has been the pace for his races and that style of running definitely doesn't hurt position in the Derby. I am also a big fan of A.P. Warrior, a $1.3 million colt out of A.P. Indy. He is trained by John Sherriffs, the trainer of the 2005 Derby winner, Giacomo. So far he has been ridden by Pat Valenzuela, arguably one of the best jockeys of all time. I am pumped to see First Samurai at the Bluegrass Stakes this year. A capable front-runner, this horse has a really good shot of being in the money on May 6th. There is going to be a lot of great horse racing in the next few weeks to see.

That's all you get for now. Opening day of Keeneland is April 7th. I'll see you there. Unless you are at Buffalo Wild Wings in a couple of hours, I'll see you there, first.