Back in the Saddle Again

Can it! Stop it right now or I swear I won’t write another sentence. I know it has been too long since the last post. I might as well tell you my whole life story all over again because I am sure you have forgotten. Good thing you have finally quit your whining because I would have pulled this car over right here.

Now, I am sure you know that I have been utterly and entirely too busy of a dude to keep me from entertaining you knot-heads the past month or so in electronic text. I apologize for my inability to keep you amused weekly or the like. I hope to remedy this, but I will not promise anything.

It does feel good to be back on the net. Just like falling off of a bicycle, I am easing back into the groove here. How about a fastball?

Laura engaged? Yep, you heard me. Adam (who lives close enough to the Pond that I can hear his horn honking) has decided to spell Dad Randall El in the caregiver department. I don’t think a date has been set or anything like that, but I will definitely keep the Pond posted. A guaranteed, goodtime will be in the making, I’m sure. Congratulations to the two of you.

The college football season is going to be here in no time. I think, Brandon, once again, dutifully reminded me on Saturday that the opening weekend was 41 days away. So, by the time you read this, the season is 37 ½ days away. I can smell it. The bite of fresh cut grass and the aroma of charcoal and hickory-smoking grills fill the air in the shadows of UK’s Agricultural Building courtyard where we tailgate. The occasional thrown football flies overhead and random C-A-T-S cheer heard in the distance makes me smile just thinking about it. That was a downer about Wesley Woodyard’s injured wrist. I just hope he is back in time for the UofL game.




Yep, this is what my grill looked like this weekend. This is how we do it on the Pond, if you didn't know. Yes, that is a new charcoal grill. Don't be jealous.


Thankfully, my yard is a green again following the bouts of rain we had in the past few weeks. I think I will mow tonight, as a matter of fact. I actually received a few good compliments on the yard this weekend in the form of, “Whatever Chemlawn is charging you, it’s worth it.” And to that I say, “No doubt.”

A little bit of traveling is on tap this weekend. My mother-in-law, Jo Ann is turning the big 6-0 this week. Happy birthday to you! So, you can find us in St. Albans this weekend with cake and ice cream and Max (family pooch). And if we are lucky, Dennis will nail down some of his family-famous chili Max’s and roasted ears of corn on the side.

Good luck this weekend, 899. Hit a homer. Pond-signing off.

What Happened and What I Learned

I am going to try something new this post. I think it should have a good flow. It probably won’t be as substantial as something I would normally post. We will chalk it up to laziness. The format will be in a “What Happened” and “What I Learned” format. See if you can follow.

I had a cookout last Friday. I learned that pork tenderloins grilled up in barbecue sauce are as good or better than barbecue chicken. I also learned that I couldn’t duplicate Paul Griffith’s barbecue burgers if I had to. Cookouts without Unit 899 aren’t as much fun as cookouts with Unit 899, but Jason Will almost makes it that good. On his way over, Jason asked if anyone was playing cornhole. I told him no, but we would play when he got there. He said, “I can beat anyone there and if I can’t beat 'em, I’ll trash talk 'em ‘til I can!” He said it. Believe it. Also, I like it when people leave before 1 a.m. Beth does, too.

Saturday morning, Beth and I took Flat Stanley around Lexington to take pictures of him in cool locations for our niece, Emma. I learned the wind always blows when you wish it wouldn’t. Each picture we tried to take, ten minutes were wasted because we never could get Stanley to stand up due to the wind. So, most of the pictures ended up with one of us holding Flat Stanley. I also learned there are some really photo-esque places in Lexington. If you want to see some of them, I can take you on a walking tour of downtown sometime. I learned of a singer worse than Sanjaya, just kidding, that was singing the national anthem before Transy’s women’s college softball game last weekend. We were walking around Transy’s campus and heard something sounding like Wing off of Southpark. It really hurt.

I went to Wes Graham’s wedding on Saturday. I learned that going to weddings are really fun until you get married. For every wedding you attend after your own, you are inclined to compare and contrast the wedding your at with your own until you just want to leave. Either you say, “Man this is an awesome wedding.” Or you say, “This sucks, I’m out.” Our wedding was the gold standard in my books. I think (hope) everyone feels that way about his or her wedding. Also, I learned the wind never blows in Lexington when you wish it would. Wearing a suit in the sun is not cool (no pun intended).

Brandon Pigg and I went to Keeneland on Sunday afternoon. I learned that if it has recently rained, don’t walk through the barns to get to the track. There are mud holes everywhere. I also learned that if it has not rained recently; don’t walk through the barns to get to the track. It will be dry and very dusty. Your shoes will be covered in dust. Remember where horses poo? Yeah, horses poo on the ground. The poo dries up and breaks down to dust size particles. Then, it gets blown by the wind into your hair, on your clothes, and if you aren’t lucky in your mouth. Sick, huh? Yeah, I won some loot. Not a "We're-all- going-to-Malone's-and-I-am-buying-type winner. I just left with more scratch in my wallet than I came with.

I posted an entry on my blog today. I learned that if you are too lazy to make an entry or feel like it has been too long since your last post, you shouldn’t force it. Otherwise, you end up with something crappy like you have just read.

But JD, what about the Kentucky Derby? You haven’t given us any of your picks, yet.

I swear to Chuck Norris, do you have to sound so whiney? Hold your horses (Ha! Ha!) and I’ll let you know. This year I am going to change my strategy and go with a large exacta wheel. Exacta, you remember, betting the horses that finish first and second in order. Glad you remembered. This week my strategy looks like this:

$5 Exacta Wheel
Street Sense, Scat Daddy, Curlin
over
Street Sense, Scat Daddy, Any Given Saturday, Curlin, and Hard Spun
For a total of $60.

$10 Across on Curlin for a total of $30.

This will be for a grand total of $90. Not set in stone, hopefully, I will be able give you a more solidified pick next week once the post draw is finished. Plus, I still haven't figured out Circular Quay.

If you try to get up with me this weekend, I will be in West Virginia for Emma and Erin’s (Chris’s wife—Beth’s brother for those unfamiliar) birthdays. Catch you on the flip.

Jess Tried To Call, But All He Got Was A Busy Signal

"I've seen your face a hundred times,
Everyday we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah.
'Cause Mama, Mama, I'm coming home.
I'm coming home."
-O. Osbourne

And home I did go this past weekend. I started the visit off with a round of golf with Dad at Sugar Camp Golf Club. This course is a pleasant little surprise off the shoulder of Route 30 East in Noctor. I really enjoyed the course and look forward to the next time I get to play there. I didn’t play exceptionally well, but I managed to hit a few “golf shots”.

I saw a couple of friends from high school that I hadn’t seen in a while. They were the same as they were the last time I saw them. Dad and I were on the sixth green and I heard someone booming across the course, “Heeeyyyyy, Randaallllllll! Woooooooooo!” It was none other than Doug Moore. Classic. And yes, he was lit up like Christmas. Good times.

After the golf, Mom had dinner made and it was nothing less than off the chain. The menu consisted of fried chicken, potato salad, green beans, corn bread, and fried apples. Are you hungry now? After dinner, the cornhole boards were brought out and I proceeded to hand out the arse-whippings on Lost Creek. I don’t think I ever lost a game, but I think I lost a pint of blood to the mosquitoes.

From there, the shindig went to Jess’s garage. Jess, Neal, Mark and myself found us some sit-downs amid the car parts. The conversations are a blur, but I am sure they were full of insight and deep meaning. Mark punked out on us and ditched us for some chicks. Honestly, I can’t say that I would blame him. A single man hanging out with a bunch of hairy legs or single man hanging out with chicks? I guess there really wasn’t a decision to make.

On Saturday, my cousin Ryan and his fiancée, Amanda, were married at Riverside. It was a nice ceremony. Congratulations, you guys. Mom and Laura were crying all over us, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle and David Peden stayed solid, because that's his style. I saw a few family members and friends I hadn’t seen in a while. It was great to catch up with them. Being at Riverside brought back some great memories of my youth spent there on the campus at the “Light in the Hills” during the Fourth of July. Softball and foot races, you can’t beat them, unless, of course, you have a sno-cone.

Last weekend I got into Churchill Downs’ pocket. Beth, my buddy Sam, and I went to the track in the ‘Ville for the Stephen Foster Grade I Handicap. There were several good races on the card and I felt this was a day that I couldn’t have passed up. I cashed a couple of trifecta tickets and when all was said and done, I was up around $40. Not too shabby!

Beth is in Columbus on business this week until Wednesday. So, I guess, the cats and I will hold down Island Pond until her return. Maybe, I should hold down her car for her until she gets back. I’m sure she won’t mind. *Wink Wink*

“Hasta manana, amigos!”