A Letdown of Olympic Proportions

Aren't the Winter Olympics at Torino or Turin (...or whatever NBC has changed the name to today) quite the disappointment? I have never been more disgusted with them than what I am now. I think the United States has sent a bunch of apathetic idiots over there to compete in games that are for the sense of national pride and not so much for self-promotion. Needless to say, this round of Olympits, as Beth calls them, has left me quite soured.

Dillhole #1 Lindsey Jacobellis

To the naked eye, she appeared to be the young snowboardingcross queen. The sport looked like a motorcross on skis with Lindsey gunning the throttle.

To the trained Island Pond eye, she looked like a thirteen year old trapped in a twenty year old's body with her raging immaturity coming out in a backside grab with 60 degree fakey on the next to last jump. This was followed, of course, by her "eating it" as Sweden's Tanja Frieden scooted by her for the gold. Jacobellis' need for instant gratification could not be staved off until the last jump, where if she were to fall, she would have probably slid to the finish in first place.

Post race, Lindsey proceeded to lie about what happened by stating she did the maneuver to create stability--standard procedure. None of the other girls had to do this. Maybe, Lindsey has an inner ear problem. No. This was the worst part of the whole ordeal for me. A few hours later, she admitted she was caught up in doing so well. She just had to let the world know how great she was. Pathetic.

Dillhole #2 Johnny Weir

The self-proclaimed "man to beat" in men's figure skating wears a swan outfit? Yeah, this is true, but it is only part of the reason why he is getting trashed in my books.

When I saw his picture in the newspaper the day after he missed the bus, I thought it was a girl. I don't know how far this thought is from the truth, but Mr(s). Weir began with all his reasons why he sucked. Not really. Weir stated that his aura was MIA, inside he was black, and something about a bus. Translation, "I want to go shopping!"

The real reason this douchebag is slammed is because Weir embarked on his shopping excursion as soon as his mediocre scores were read from the judges. Not too classy and a tad bit sassy!

Maybe add a "Q" to his last name?

Don't lie. You were thinking it.

Dillhole #3 Bode Miller

We all saw this coming, didn't we? Yep, Bode Miller. The name says it all. This putz has done everything in his power to make himself appear to be the biggest jackass under the sun, bar none except Tony Stewart.

Before the Games even started, Bode was bragging on national television of his skiing under the influence from the excess he had partaken of the night before. After being chastised by his coaches and threatened with expulsion from the Winter Olympics by U.S. Olympic Committee members, Miller retracted his statements and said he didn't condone such activities. A few days later, he trashed Barry "U.S." Bonds and Lance Armstrong as dopers in the Rolling Stone magazine. Now, Miller is getting trashed in a bar and on my blog site!!!

The ning nong has successfully ruined all but one chance of salvaging a medal at the games in Turin, Italy. His last chance with Olympic gold will be Saturday night in the slalom. I am betting dollars against doughnut holes, Bode Miller chokes on his Miller High Life one more time just so he can say "I'm not very good, but, Damn, I'm slow."

Joel, thanks for your hospitality the other night. I really enjoyed myself. Your cat is a dingbat. It's too bad you live down in a hole on Knott's Berry Farm. Otherwise, we would do it more often. No, wait, it probably is a good thing you live in the hole! Catch youse on da flip!