The Dismantling of a Dynasty
*DISCLAIMER*
The following statements are in no way, shape, or form factual. They are merely opinions of the blogger and are not endorsed by the medium in which they are delivered.
Something must be done and done in a hurry. The Kentucky Wildcats are fastly coming undone at the hinges. And it is being done by the hands of one man and one man only.......Josh Carrier. Who else should be blamed for such poor efforts on the floor? It is the man sitting in the row directly behind the bench. You can see him during televised games. Looking all dapper in his Sunday best. His official title is the Assistant Ball Bag. Yep, not assistant conditioning coach or assistant equipment manager, but assistant ball bag or assistant to the ball bag....something like that. He scrubbed the bench trench for Kentucky for four years prior, witnessing several quality games that you and I only dream of getting to see first hand. That wasn't enough for him, now, he gets to see them all again from one row back.
"What's wrong with that?"
To the naked eye, nothing. To the Jedi-trained Island Pond Eye, everything! Just imagine, if you will, yourself as Ravi Moss, just out of the game, after nailing two threes in a row, to catch a breather. Carrier leans in to whisper in your ear what you think will be a "Good hustle!" Nope. He says, "Got any cheese?" You're like, "Whaa?!?" And just at that moment, Tubby yells at you to get back into the game.
You come in on the back end of a one and one. The shot bricks and you grab the rebound. As you begin to look up to kick the ball out to Rondo, the words echo slowly in your ear..."Goooootttt aaaaannnnnnyyyyy cccchhhhheeeeeese!" And you, ever so smoothly, chuck the ball way in front of Rondo only to watch it sail out of bounds. You whirl around to glare at Carrier, but, alas, he isn't there. You do, however, catch the laser beam eyes from one Orlando Smith. Excellent. The 2001 Mr. Kentucky Basketball is standing at the end of the bench laughing at you. GRRRRR!
See what I'm talking about? This can be the only explanation of the early season demise of the Bluegrass Brick Cats. Carrier is selfishly and intentionally trying to get in the heads of the fine young athletes on the 2005-2006 Wildcat roster. I assume to make his years, the years of a Mr. Kentucky Basketball award winner, not seem so bad. Good luck.
After careful deliberation, I have come up with an idea to put an end to this nonsense. I am willing to start a petition to eradicate this individual from the sidelines by hook, book, or crook. I will present said petition to the University of Kentucky athletic director Mitch Barnhart myself.
Hey you!!! Yeah, you!!! Join the cause. Fight for your right to partay....wait? Where did that come from? I mean fight for your right to watch decent Bluegrass basketball. Sign up today.
"If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter!" --Principal McGee "Grease"
The following statements are in no way, shape, or form factual. They are merely opinions of the blogger and are not endorsed by the medium in which they are delivered.
Something must be done and done in a hurry. The Kentucky Wildcats are fastly coming undone at the hinges. And it is being done by the hands of one man and one man only.......Josh Carrier. Who else should be blamed for such poor efforts on the floor? It is the man sitting in the row directly behind the bench. You can see him during televised games. Looking all dapper in his Sunday best. His official title is the Assistant Ball Bag. Yep, not assistant conditioning coach or assistant equipment manager, but assistant ball bag or assistant to the ball bag....something like that. He scrubbed the bench trench for Kentucky for four years prior, witnessing several quality games that you and I only dream of getting to see first hand. That wasn't enough for him, now, he gets to see them all again from one row back.
"What's wrong with that?"
To the naked eye, nothing. To the Jedi-trained Island Pond Eye, everything! Just imagine, if you will, yourself as Ravi Moss, just out of the game, after nailing two threes in a row, to catch a breather. Carrier leans in to whisper in your ear what you think will be a "Good hustle!" Nope. He says, "Got any cheese?" You're like, "Whaa?!?" And just at that moment, Tubby yells at you to get back into the game.
You come in on the back end of a one and one. The shot bricks and you grab the rebound. As you begin to look up to kick the ball out to Rondo, the words echo slowly in your ear..."Goooootttt aaaaannnnnnyyyyy cccchhhhheeeeeese!" And you, ever so smoothly, chuck the ball way in front of Rondo only to watch it sail out of bounds. You whirl around to glare at Carrier, but, alas, he isn't there. You do, however, catch the laser beam eyes from one Orlando Smith. Excellent. The 2001 Mr. Kentucky Basketball is standing at the end of the bench laughing at you. GRRRRR!
See what I'm talking about? This can be the only explanation of the early season demise of the Bluegrass Brick Cats. Carrier is selfishly and intentionally trying to get in the heads of the fine young athletes on the 2005-2006 Wildcat roster. I assume to make his years, the years of a Mr. Kentucky Basketball award winner, not seem so bad. Good luck.
After careful deliberation, I have come up with an idea to put an end to this nonsense. I am willing to start a petition to eradicate this individual from the sidelines by hook, book, or crook. I will present said petition to the University of Kentucky athletic director Mitch Barnhart myself.
Hey you!!! Yeah, you!!! Join the cause. Fight for your right to partay....wait? Where did that come from? I mean fight for your right to watch decent Bluegrass basketball. Sign up today.
"If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter!" --Principal McGee "Grease"
posted by J-Delicious at
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
5 Comments:
So what predictions do you have for Saturday's game? I predict much tears and gnashing of teeth for the blue faithful.
By
Chase Abner, at 12/15/2005 1:30 PM
It won't be pretty. I will say Loserville by at least 10. That will be with UK playing a good game. And Carrier behind the bench, of course.
By
J-Delicious, at 12/15/2005 2:19 PM
Thank goodness we were wrong.
By
Chase Abner, at 12/18/2005 7:18 PM
Indeed, Kenny. It was packed down there Saturday. I think it was the second biggest crowd in Rupp ever. Yet, there was no one sitting in front of Beth and I. Sweet! I think Loserville got the stinky end of the horse in that game. They got zero calls. The big guy for Ville, Pagett, was hammered everytime he got the ball down low, no calls. He also, had two early fouls in the first half and was out until the second half. But, when he did come back in, he scored at will on the WOO. May have been the difference.
By
J-Delicious, at 12/19/2005 8:10 AM
Of course, I didn't have the pleasure of being at the game in person like you, but I had a closer view on the TV. Padgett may have taken some hammers down low, but the refs were letting both sides play pretty rough in my opinion. Still... it was almost a 20 point beating... not sure he would've made that much of a difference.
By
Chase Abner, at 12/19/2005 9:38 AM
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