Heeeeeee's baaa-aaaaaack.

times 3!

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

And I will say it again. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” Yep, little brother west of Lexington has slipped straight out of the ranks of the AP Top 25. This is not a huge surprise to me. I knew something smelled fishy after the Cards let Middle Tennessee State score 40+ points against them the second game of the season. The sad part is their coach, Steve Kragthorpe, is probably to blame. Bobby Petrino left a talented crew of players on the roster and a preseason top-10 ranking. The defense was never that awesome, but this year, it down right stinks. I honestly hope they pull the rest of the season together to finish respectable, as long as they don’t beat WVU.

The word on the street is Louisville fans are calling for Kragthorpe’s head, a la UK fans over Orlando ”Tubby” Smith. Can’t say I would blame them. If the trend continues, it would be like running a Ferrari into the ditch. Like I said before, Petrino left UofL in good standing just like Rick Pitino left UK’s basketball team in good standing. We’ll see what goes down at NC State.

And since we're talking about college football, we might as well get this out of the way. What about those Cats? Yep, everyone doubted them before the UofL game. “I just hope we have a good showing.” (Yeah, that was myself five hours before game time.) “I don’t think we stand a chance.” (Guys tailgating beside us.) During the first half, people in front of us were not cheering. Some one called them assholes and told them to get up and cheer for the Cats or next time they should stay at home on the couch. (That was me.) Why pay that much money to just sit there during a game like that? Honestly, our seats are okay, but the view on ESPN Classics is much better. But, then again, they might have attended the game so they wouldn’t have to listen to Bill “I wish I could win one for the Gipper” Curry.

The Cats brought it home and made the AP Top-25 poll. I think this was the first time in the AP Top-25 since the 1983 season. Then, they rolled into Fayetteville, Arkansas and handed McFadden and crew a beatdown courtesy of Andre Woodson, Trevard Lindley, and true-freshman, Derrick Locke. They did look good. Plus, they proved the UofL game wasn't a fluke. I can’t remember the game announcers' names, but Dude, were they ever in love with McFadden and Arkansas. This was only short-lived. By the end of the third quarter, I think they wanted their daughters to marry Andre Woodson. Feeling the love now, are you? 14th in the AP Poll this week. Nice.

The joke that sits beside Kirk Herbstreit on ESPN Gameday, Lee Corso, said two weeks ago that UK had no chance of beating Louisville. This week after the Cats beat Arkansas, Lee said that UK was the team to watch in the SEC. Herbstreit did pick us against UofL. Colin Cowherd has picked UK in two huge games this year. He picked the Cats to beat UofL and Florida. So far, he is one for two. Go Cats.

UK plays Florida Atlantic this weekend. It is an early game, so I am assuming the tailgating will start around 9 a.m. I think we are going to do some bacon and eggs on the grill. Sounds good, huh?

This weekend Beth and I rolled east to St. Albans to see her parents and family. I scored some long awaited birthday gifts Friday night from them. I snagged an awesome grilling apron with nothing less than, “J-Delicious” embroidered on the front. It has a pocket for a canned or bottled beverage of your choice. Dennis, I think I will choose the “Awesome Beverage”. It also has a bottle opener on a string and extra pockets in the front. Jealous, I know. They also gifted me with “A Taste of Home” grilling cookbook. Necessary. Thanks a bunch guys!

The next day, Beth’s brother Chris had signed us up to help him install a new French door on the back of his house. What was supposed to be a two-to-three hour job took pretty much all day. I recall helping Dad put the new door on the back of their house one day. I think it pretty much went the same way. Chris and Dennis did most of the work. I think I was there to look good and do some heavy lifting. The finish product looked really good and no one needs to know the what’s and how’s. It was a good time all in all.

Opening Day at Keeneland is next Friday. I have already put in my time-off request form and this morning it was signed. So, this is an open invitation for all those who wish to join me in playing the ponies. The first 3000 paid visitors get a free gift from Darley Jonabell Farms. Last year, we were given free tailgating chairs. The year before, I got a free hooded windbreaker. Who knows what you can score this year?

I am going to leave you guys with another pic of some of the dirt we do on the grill. This was at my buddy Sam's house after the Arlington Million back in August. (I hit the trifecta and $2 across on the 8-1 winner for about $170.) Try not to get too hungry looking at this. Give me call.

Not Again

I’ll be brief with this. It shouldn’t take long and I am sure most of you will agree with me on this. I am not a perfectionist, at least when it comes to sports and sports performance. But, for the love of Pete and his dog, what is the UK football coaching staff doing? I know UK won 56-20, but hear me out.

Andre Woodson, labeled preseason as the best quarterback in the Southeastern Conference, only threw one pass downfield in the first half of Saturday’s game against Kent State and it was for a touchdown. What does that mean? Was Brooks just running the backs to build their confidence? What about Woodson’s confidence? Is he not the most important cog in the machine that is Big Blue? (See the last line of my latest post.) These past two games, Woodson has only averaged a little over 200 yards passing per game. I can tell you right now, and this opinion is probably congruent with all the other Cat fans across the Commonwealth, if he doesn’t get at least 320 yards passing this Saturday, there will, for sure, be another Governor’s Cup trophy sitting on UofL’s campus come Monday. The guy has a cannon attached to his shoulder. Let him use it so UK can get an early lead over these early season pushovers and the underclassmen can get some good minutes in before the big games.

Steve Brown, (a.k.a. Mr. Fancy Pants Offensive Coordinator or should I dare say...a.k.a. Mike Archer, Jr?) why, oh, why would you not blitz against a quarterback that can’t throw the ball downfield? The only pass Kent State’s Edelman threw downfield was intercepted. The rest of the time he handed the ball off, scrambled, or threw short passes in the flats or over the middle. The only real threat was the ground game. I knew that, my buddy Duane knew that, and even his 14 year old daughter knew that. Shove four down lineman and a couple of linebackers in the box, they will be forced to throw and Edelman did throw poorly, 12-28 for 129 yards and one interception.

UK, of all the years to jerk the fans around, do not do this to us again. All the puzzle pieces are all there. Coach like you belong in the SEC. Louisville won’t run out of gas in the second half like the first two teams you played. If anything they play better in the second half. Think about it.

Legs and Feet

Where to start? Somewhere where I left off, I guess, would be the logical point. Okay. Three weekends ago, we went to Louisville for Paige’s 30th birthday celebration. She had reserved the house bar in this cool Irish joint called O’Shea’s. It was a really neat scene. Imagine A1A if it were decorated entirely as an Irish bar. Yep, it was that big. There were quite a few people there I hadn’t seen in a while. It was good to play catch-up with those folks. The #'s1 and 1a questions asked were: “Do you have any kids?” and “When are you going to have kids?”

What do you say to people when they ask you that? I preferred the smart-arsed answers like, “No, no kids. We are practicing with cats right now and it’s not looking good. They are both fat and home alone.” That would be strike one and two if you asked me. I can see why the conversations didn’t go much farther. I wonder why people don’t like me?

Really, we had a pretty good time. David bin Speeden was working on his angel wings. Driving 12 people around Louisville on such a festive occasion couldn’t have been that fun, nor self-rewarding. Do I see a name change to David bin Chaufeurin’ on the horizon? Paige walking down Baxter Avenue barefoot was the best part of the night. No doubt.

Two weekends ago, we traveled to Wiley Fork in Knott County to a double-deuce birthday party thrown for Unit 899’s fiancé, Alex. There was a ton of food, good food, mind you, and guitars flying around everywhere. I ran a grill that was the foundation of the mountain behind Joel’s place. There was a dancing contest--shopping cart, lawn sprinkler, flying squirrels, and such. Joel and Tim Skinny had the late night concert on the back porch that was too much or too late—take your pick.

I’m not sure if you guys have ever seen the movie, Snatch. If you have, I will refer you to the gypsies(Brad Pitt's character) and their dialect of cockney English. There was a guy there named Eugene who, it seemed, was a construction foreman. Eugene spoke American Hillbilly cockney, so think of Farmer Fran from of The Waterboy. When I heard Eugene talking on the back porch, I went in the house to get Beth to listen to this guy. He was telling a story about this migrant worker who was reporting to him on a job site. The guy must have tried to take a shortcut on the job orders and must have messed something up. Eugene was explaining how he gave the guy the down-the-road for what he did. Of the five minutes the story lasted, I really only understood the phrase “legs and feet”. Apparently Eugene was telling the poor guy that they didn’t hire him for his brain or managerial skills, they hired him for his legs and feet. Makes sense to me.

Following that long night at McCool’s. The next day we had a birthday party and the Lost Creek plantation for my grandma’s 80th birthday. Almost everyone in the family was there. The only problem was the heat and flatulence. Yes, you heard me and it didn’t come from any of the folks who came from the shindig on Wiley Fork either, as one would naturally assume. Beth and I were sitting at a table in the yard and my great aunt ____, trying to keep it as anonymous as possible, had just walked up in front of us and BAM! Right in our faces. We evacuated immediately, still in disbelief. We reported the incident only to find out that we weren’t the only victims in the needless and merciless gas attacks from this individual.

Other than being shat on, the day was pretty cool. It was really nice to see the whole family again, just like we will again in October. You think this event would have sufficed for the family reunion, but no. Moving on…

The next day, I had to go to Cambridge, Maryland to a conference for work. They put us up in a swank resort. Nice. It seems like they fed us crab three meals a day. I wasn’t complaining while I was there, but I think I am a little burned-out on crab meat for a while. I had the experience of shelling steamed crab. Some friends my co-worker and I had met while at the conference, schooled us in the art of shelling crabs. Long story short, it takes about three Budweisers to shell a crab. Oh yeah, if you are ever at a reception where you are given a limited number of tokens for free drinks, tip the bartender a dollar with each token. You may get some of the tokens back.

If I didn’t hear from you on this past Friday, then shame on you for not calling me on my birthday. It was uneventful, yet, very satisfying. I took the day off from work to get some errands done, i.e. tires rotated, oil change, car wash, etc. Once Beth got home from work, we had an early dinner with my parents at Malone’s. It was a great dinner. Thanks Daddio! We shopped around for a new computer at the new Best Buy location in Hamburg for two hours. Stopped at Meijer’s to buy some tailgating necessities for the next day. I think I was in bed asleep by 10 p.m. See, uneventful.

Saturday, of course, was UK’s first home game and they were pitted against the mighty Colonels from EKU. I'll get into more of that later. It took us a while to find a tailgating spot, but once we found a great place, we did gate some tail. Brandon broke out the grill. There were burgers and dogs, veggies and dip, cold beer, and salt and vinegar potato chips, if you could wrestle them from Beth. Everyone was abuzz with the news of Appalachian State, last year’s Division 1, AA champions, located in Boone, NC (not to be confused with Grundy, Virginia’s Appalachian School of Law) with the enrollment of a little over 15,000, thank you, defeating Michigan at Ann Arbor earlier in the day.

By game time, there was excitement in the air as well as the anticipation of the unknown. What was the real story with UK? Two minutes into the game, we knew the Cats' first loss wouldn’t come at the hands of EKU. Maybe next week with Kent State? Doubt it, but who knows? We will see you there. My advice for Rich Brooks is that he had better take it one game at a time.

I have to go for now. I am half-promising more frequent posts once we get a new computer. I know there has been some serious slacking. Dennis and Jo Anne, keep those Mountaineers going. I don’t think they hear me cheering in Lexington. I’ll catch you later and leave you guys with the most popular quote after the game: “If something happens to Woodson, Kentucky is SCREWED!”