Mary, Getchur Coat!

Congratulations Unit 899, a.k.a. Super Trooper Joel Abner. I thoroughly enjoyed the graduation and wish you the best as you embark on your new career. You made me nervous looking at you in your gray and blues. TUFF!

I believe that we need to have a family discussion about an extremely bad habit we share. It usually occurs after graduations. It is hard for me to say this, so I am just going to throw this out there like Ron Burgundy. "If you don't like it, just throw it right back." Family, we really need to get over everyone descending on Cracker Barrel all at once. It's hard on everyone involved--the wait staff, my nerves, the furniture, the facilities, etc... I know some of you feel the same way, admit it. You always complain about getting bad service. There's twenty of you, for crying out loud! That's all I will say about that. Discuss it amongst yourselves.

I am sad I will be unable to attend the Abner's Christmas Eve festivities this year. Being a newly married man, I will be in Southeastern Ohio (West Virginia) for the Rhodes' family Christmas. However, I will be in town for the Christmas Day dinner (how could I miss) on Lost Creek. I am looking forward to the Rhodes Family Christmas experience. I bet Emma will be like the Tasmanian Devil--quite entertaining. Still, I am very sad to miss my family's shindig.

In leaving the post, I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you get everything you want and your New Year's resolutions come to fruition. I am sure I will have some stories to tell after the holidays, so get ready and eat some figgy pudding! Advice for the post (something new I will try here): Don't ask Laura any questions about school.

P.S. Check out ya boy, Part III: The Son of Earp

One Great Guy...

The world found itself less one great guy on Monday, December 12, 2005. Sadly, Kevin Rice has passed away. Kevin was one of my best friends in high school. He was a great guy and will surely be missed by his family and several friends. Kevin, I thought the world of you. You definitely left your mark on the world and in my heart. I thank you. Peace be unto you.

Please, visit Kevin's obituary guestbook.
http://www.legacy.com/kentucky/Guestbook.asp?Page=Guestbook&PersonID=15978553

The Dismantling of a Dynasty

*DISCLAIMER*
The following statements are in no way, shape, or form factual. They are merely opinions of the blogger and are not endorsed by the medium in which they are delivered.


Something must be done and done in a hurry. The Kentucky Wildcats are fastly coming undone at the hinges. And it is being done by the hands of one man and one man only.......Josh Carrier. Who else should be blamed for such poor efforts on the floor? It is the man sitting in the row directly behind the bench. You can see him during televised games. Looking all dapper in his Sunday best. His official title is the Assistant Ball Bag. Yep, not assistant conditioning coach or assistant equipment manager, but assistant ball bag or assistant to the ball bag....something like that. He scrubbed the bench trench for Kentucky for four years prior, witnessing several quality games that you and I only dream of getting to see first hand. That wasn't enough for him, now, he gets to see them all again from one row back.

"What's wrong with that?"

To the naked eye, nothing. To the Jedi-trained Island Pond Eye, everything! Just imagine, if you will, yourself as Ravi Moss, just out of the game, after nailing two threes in a row, to catch a breather. Carrier leans in to whisper in your ear what you think will be a "Good hustle!" Nope. He says, "Got any cheese?" You're like, "Whaa?!?" And just at that moment, Tubby yells at you to get back into the game.

You come in on the back end of a one and one. The shot bricks and you grab the rebound. As you begin to look up to kick the ball out to Rondo, the words echo slowly in your ear..."Goooootttt aaaaannnnnnyyyyy cccchhhhheeeeeese!" And you, ever so smoothly, chuck the ball way in front of Rondo only to watch it sail out of bounds. You whirl around to glare at Carrier, but, alas, he isn't there. You do, however, catch the laser beam eyes from one Orlando Smith. Excellent. The 2001 Mr. Kentucky Basketball is standing at the end of the bench laughing at you. GRRRRR!

See what I'm talking about? This can be the only explanation of the early season demise of the Bluegrass Brick Cats. Carrier is selfishly and intentionally trying to get in the heads of the fine young athletes on the 2005-2006 Wildcat roster. I assume to make his years, the years of a Mr. Kentucky Basketball award winner, not seem so bad. Good luck.

After careful deliberation, I have come up with an idea to put an end to this nonsense. I am willing to start a petition to eradicate this individual from the sidelines by hook, book, or crook. I will present said petition to the University of Kentucky athletic director Mitch Barnhart myself.

Hey you!!! Yeah, you!!! Join the cause. Fight for your right to partay....wait? Where did that come from? I mean fight for your right to watch decent Bluegrass basketball. Sign up today.

"If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter!" --Principal McGee "Grease"

...And Then It Was Done.

The union joined and the journey initiated. That says the long and short of it. It has now been a week and four days since I have endured the rite of passage we call a "wedding". Do I feel the same? Yes, very much so. And no, not at all. Will this experience change me? Time will tell, but I hope so. The woman I married will hopefully take me on a dynamic expedition of learning. She will help me to mold my life so that it's not my life anymore, but ours. She will prepare me for the unpreparable. That's right, Beth, I've got big expectations for you as well as myself.

Everything was perfect, so I've been told. To me, the wedding, the reception, and the honeymoon was nothing but a blur. I have been to a foreign land and back, but it seems like only minutes have passed. I sincerely hope this is not the way the rest of my life, wait, correction, our life will be. I am in the midst of something I really wish to cling to for eternity and a day.

However, it seems as if I am trying to lasso a G-Dub created hurricane. Slow down the unstoppable force, if you will.

I would have really enjoyed to bring you guys some pictures from our honeymoon, but I am still living in the pre-historic age and only took photos with disposable cameras. Maybe Mr. or Mrs. Relevant can link up some photos of the wedding and reception? If not, that's okay.

"No pressure, Mon!"

This phrase was uttered over a thousand times to Beth and I while in St. Lucia. Translated to the Midwestern U.S. English, it means "You've got it!" An example of this would be:
Bartender: "What you be a' drinkin', Mon?"
Me: "I would like a Pedro Collins, please."
Bartender: "Fo de fine missus?"
Beth: "A Dirty Banana, please."
Bartender: "No pressure, Mon!"

There is a semi-active volcano on the island. We were able to walk inside it. I have pictures, no, not digital pictures. The pressure from the gases and heat below escape in the form of sulfur dioxide laden steam. Yes, it is incredibly smelly. You know, like Jackson's finest. The sulfur dioxide smell is evidence there is no pressure build up from the gas and heat below. Therefore, "No pressure, no problem." As this has been shortened to "No pressure!"

There, you have learned something.

Educational website like mine should win an award.