Are They Trying to Get Us Sanctioned?

What the hell's going on? Man, I ain't seen you guys in a long time. I think the last time I talked to you Kentucky was facing South Carolina at home and I called Randolph Morris out for being solid and consistent. Well....didn't I jinx that all to hell? That's okay. Kentucky won the South Carolina game at home and the Tuesday night game at Auburn. Are they on the up and up? Good question.

I have become complaisant for UK being just a mediocre to good team. Twenty wins and ten losses aren't so bad, right? I think maybe we just get so used to something going the way we expect it to. Then, all of a sudden things aren't so great. It's like jumping into a pool of ice water or more like being pushed into a pool of ice water. We get angry when we only have good when we are used to great. (I'll leave this open for Mr. Relevant to relate a good message from this.) What if we were Canisus or Miami of Ohio fans (Yes, that was a burn to T. Vero.) Bad would be acceptable and mediocrity would be outstanding. You would never be disappointed after a loss because you think the team sucks. After a win, you are estatic. What do you think?

There was an article today in the sports section of the Lexington Herald Leader about Rajon Rondo driving around a $50,000 2005 Yukon Denali. Why, blatantly, bring attention to this? The article further explains that the vehicle checks out, as it belongs to former UK basketball player Derek Anderson. This being the same Derek Anderson from the UK 1996 NCAA Championship team. Apparently, DA and RR were homies from back when Rondo was still at Oak Hill Academy and buddies with DA's teenage son(?), subsequently named Derek Anderson, now, a senior at Oak Hill Academy. Strange. But, the whole Denali thing checks out since DA and RR were friends before RR became a Division I prospect.

My question, rhetoric as it may be, is why shoot up flares in the night sky? CorRUPPt Arena strikes again. The only similarity shared by Rondo's vehicle and the vehicle I drove in college is the color white. In the article was a picture of him getting out of the vehicle carrying an Arby's bag. Damn, that stuff is expensive. When I was in college, I had to eat off of the 99 cent value menu at Wendy's and order a water to drink. Also, I live in Lexington and had no clue Rondo drove around in a big white 2005 Yukon Denali. Now, I will keep my eyes out for it.

"Rondo, give me yo autograph!"

"LET"S GOOOO, RONDOOOOOO!!!!" --some big blonde haired girl whose season tickets are beside ours. She just so happens to be the loudest person in Rupp Arena and yells pretty much the same three things over and over and over and over and over all game long. Hooray for me.

1) The previously mentioned statement.
2) "MOVE THE BALLLL!!!"
3) "C'MON PATRICK!!!"


*Funny story alert*

I was in the analytical lab today at work checking some documentation. The lab's telephone started ringing. A girl who was walking out of the room at that moment said, "Huh, that's strange." Then, she just kept on walking. The people I work with....

What in the hell is so strange about the telephone ringing at work? This made me wonder if she is really an alien. No doubt.

"I'm a hellar fellar! If you don't believe me, just ask me!"

Where There is Smoke, There's Fire

Someone, anyone, please reassure me that today is Friday. This has been the longest week and today has been the longest day. People at work seem to save all their work for me until Thursday or Friday. This means, of course, I am busier than usual both of these days. Little do they know, I am not performing at 100% on Friday afternoon. My brain is a little mushy from the earlier part of the week. GOT ANY CHEESE?!?! Yep, that's how I feel. My quick cure? Buffalo Wild Wings. If they had couches there, I could live there. Wings, beer, big screen TV's, video games, bathrooms. The only thing stopping me is the bathroom sans shower. I guess I could take a whore's bath, you know, tops and tails.

Kentucky rebounded a little from their Saturday loss from Alabama. They seemed to handle Georgia fairly easily once they got going in the second half. Morris is here folks and he is solid. Thank goodness. He's averaging 14.3 points and six rebounds a game since returning. Damn!! Just think....he is out playing UK's three 7 footers combined. Sad.

I am looking forward to this Saturday's game against South Carolina. They beat Vandy this week and you know what Vandy did to us. This game will be a tell-tale sign of what will become of our beloved Wildcats.

The fatter of my two fat cats took a dump the other night while I was half asleep and Beth was watching the 11 o'clock news. She asked me if I smelled something burning. My nose was a little stuffed up, so yes, it did smell like something burning. I walked downstairs to check it out. The burners on the stove all were off. I walked to the laundry room where our furnace is, flipped on the light and then immediately flipped out. There were man-sized turds (about 6 inches long, big around as a fifty cent piece with little dingleberries on each side)in the floor of the laundry room. I spun a round really quick to see if someone in the house. No man was there, but around the corner popped Chloe.

"Meow."

If she were a dude, I would have beeeeaat that ass! She crapped in the floor a foot from the litter box. A foot! I gave her a good cussin'. I knew it was her because Zoe was asleep in the floor at the foot of our bed when I walked downstairs. Bad cat.

Beth cleaned it up, thankfully. Needless to say, Chloe is on my shit list and I on her's.

Ken-sucky and Indianapo-crap

Make sure you check this out and in a hurry. It is possibly the funniest things since http://www.realultimatepower.net. It is http://www.4q.cc/chuck/. The laughs will be immense. (For some reason, my hyperlinks aren't working. Please, cut and paste in the address box.)

Question: "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Answer: "Chuck Norris."

P.S. Kentucky is on a three game losing streak. A friend at work told me his brother started this website: http://www.scrubtubb.com

P.S.S. Indianapolis Colts and "Happy Feet" Manning looked like crap as they let Pittsburg roll over them yesterday. As much as the officials wanted Indy to win, their bad calls were no match against the Colts' suckiness. Smooth, Vanderjagt, real smooth. Steelers, I am now behind you 100%.

I'll Show You My Randolph If You Show Me Yours

Greetings from Blogville! I hope this finds you all well. I have not much to update you with at the moment. Maybe, I will take some time to rant for a few over the latest Kentucky shaming on the court.

It was pretty miserable for Kentucky fans Saturday afternoon as the Cats packed an incredible ass-whooping from the undeservedly unranked Jayhawks, 73-46. As this game progressed, my lust to watch Kentucky basketball disappeared, much like the giant pot of chili I had made. (More of the chili later.) So much, in fact, I have already sold the tickets for the UK/Vandy SEC home opener for Tuesday night. Yeah, Randolph Morris (more of him later)will be back, but 9:00 p.m. is too late of a game start for a working man like me. It took me three hours at work to find anyone to buy them. Usually, I have tickets sold before 8:00 a.m. A spanking like Saturday's seems to be the cure for Cat Scratch Fever.

Not a single player for Kentucky was in double digits in any category as Jayhawk Brandon Rush made a strong argument for his bid as NCAA freshman of the year. Rajon Rondo couldn't do anything with Rush as he rolled up a double-double, 24 points and 12 rebounds. 73-46. What I don't understand is that Kentucky has to many high-caliber players to be suffering defeats as this.

"We are trying to hit our stride, and we are not playing at the level we'd like to be playing at. We're still trying to get some real chemistry and cohesiveness in our scoring. Our defense has been solid all year long, and now we're picking up rebounding-wise. We just need to get some more scoring, and I think that will help once we get Randolph Morris back." -- Coach Tubby Smith

All these remarks have to be in exception to the Iowa, North Carolina, and Indiana games, where the defense was not so solid. I will address the Randolph Morris statement. Several UK fans have been surmising Randolph's support from the athletic staff to return to the team and the reiteration of his return to team as making the team go from an inconsistent to contentious team has crippled the team. Maybe, the players feel there is no confidence in their coaches or athletic department, a.k.a. Mitch Barnhart and crew. While everyone has been going to bat for the misguided Morris, they forgot to remind the faithful, those who didn't try to enter the NBA unqualified, that they could win without Morris. We are looking at some interesting and possibly challenging times as Wildcat fans. Let me know what you think.

Now, we are on to something more noteworthy.

I had a couple of friends over to watch the game(if that is what you recognized it as)with Beth and I, Brandon, a.k.a. "Notorious" and Brett a.k.a. "The Hitman". Brett, Beth, and I stuffed our gullets with chili I had made a couple of days before. Brandon is on a diet and had vaginitis (sorry), so he couldn't eat any chili. Anyway, the chili wasn't made from a top secret recipe or anything, but I have discovered a little trick into making good chili taste like great chili. Once you make your chili, don't eat it right away. Pour the chili into an air-tight container and let it sit in your fridge, free from cat butt, for at least 24 hours. This lets the flavors blend as this results in a uniform flavor. Mmm, Mmm, Beetches. My trick also works with green beans and baked beans.

I am going to watch Kentucky play Tuesday night, but in the comfort of my own home. It's on ESPN at 9:00 p.m., 8:00 p.m. for the Carbondalians. It's too bad I have already eaten all of the chili.

Ain't It Funny?

Ain't it funny how people sidestep then jab? I am speaking of the way people communicate when trying not to step on toes or when they just want to hear themselves speak because they think they are smart and should be heard. I tend to run into this situation on a daily basis, especially at work. Of course, I am not innocent of this crime of mannerism and I bet you aren't either. I can give you a more specific example if you are unsure.

People use the phrases "I am sorry, but...", "I don't mean to sound hateful, but...", or "I don't want to sound rude, but..". What are these people doing other than announcing their agenda? Maybe it should go like this: "I don't want to sound rude, but I am getting ready to be rude." It seems they think if you admit something before you actually do it, then it is okay to proceed with the un-nice-ity, if you will. Maybe if I say, "I don't mean to rob this bank, but..." it is okay and I will be forgiven, no jail time. Please.

Usually, as soon as I hear the drop line, "I am sorry, but...", I tune out. "La dee dee, Texas National Champs, tra la la, USC not greatest college football team of all time, la la." I think that we should sidestep the formalities of sparing and then unsparing individuals feelings and just come right out with what we are saying. Like saying "I'm sorry, but..." is going change their minds about the subject once they hear you blab?

Instead of this: "I'm sorry, but USC is not the greatest college football team of all time."

Say this: "USC sucks."

I am definitely going to start doing this. I would rather someone say, "Damn, that dude is blunt!" as opposed to "Damn, that guy is one rude ass!" Think about it.

Bah Hamburg!

The title of this post sums up my feelings of this past year's holiday season. Bah Hamburg! And yes, I am referring to the Lexington shopping mecca. It really makes me have ill feelings for that time of year. Every out of town SOB that doesn't know how to navigate an automobile goes there to Christmas shop. I was in that area four times from December 7th to December 30th. Everytime I went there, I was nearly T-boned by some idiot from Lincoln County, Carter County, or "insert county you hate most here" County. Why they travel all the way to Lexington to shop at Hamburg is beyond me. It is more overpriced than the mall and to go from store to store, you have to brave the fierce, flatland cold. Idiots!

Thankfully, Hamburg has relieved some of the strain on the Fayette Mall. I could actually find parking places the two times I ventured there. I guess you could say my relief is my misery. It is my misery because I have to drive by it everyday on the way home.

The holidays were great once I got out of the Bluegrassburg region. Great times were had at my in-laws' and my parents' houses. I really missed not being at Lost Creek on Christmas Eve, though. It was really great to visit with my new and old relatives. I got some great gifts-sometimes twice. I hope you had a great one.

I am a little tired of the New Year's Eve hoopla. It is a night of amateurs and I believe I am willing to retire from going out to celebrate the evening. This year we ate dinner at Outback, stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings for an hour, and went home before 11:15. I think... no, I know I would rather have been at Elkatawa hanging out with my family. Golf at Southwind Golf Course Sunday morning with Dad, David Willis and Jimmy Lee was pretty cold, but I still managed to freeze out an 82. Not bad for having last played sometime in October.

Nice Sugar Bowl win WVU, even if the commentators at ABC badly wanted you to lose.

"That's a load of crap, man! I swear ta GOD!" --Donny Baker